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@Canstum its on the main site on the home page
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Figure 1. The most dangerous advice for getting your lover back is to have ‘no contact’ and cut off all interaction with them. The problem is, this strategy FORCES your ex to meet someone new, just so they can get over the relationship quicker! Read below to discover something that works much better.
It’s quite shocking, actually…
Because most ‘professional’ advice on how to get your ex back will tell you to have ‘no contact’ with your ex for some period of time – usually no less than 30 days.
…and during that time, you should work on ‘improving yourself’.
And if you’ve tried that, then you already know that it’s darn near IMPOSSIBLE to focus on improving yourself when the only thing you can think about is the one person you miss so much.
What’s worse, is that by cutting off contact with your ex (even temporarily), you sacrifice any bond you had already spent developing.
And that’s no exaggeration. You see, when I went through a breakup with the woman I loved, I tried the ‘no contact’ thing.
And guess what happened…
She thought I wasn’t interested, went out with a few girlfriends, and MET ANOTHER GUY!
So don’t delay, because time is of the essence! In fact, the longer you wait to take action, the more likely your partner is to lose interest and meet someone else.
She may not even want to! But because you’re not reaching out, she may think she has to move on! Ill say that again, She May Be Waiting For You!! In fact, the longer you wait to take action, the more likely your partner is to lose interest and meet someone else.
Unfortunately, I learned it the hard way. But hopefully, the secrets you learn inside this website will help you avoid the pain and suffering that robbed me of happiness for several years.
Please, don’t make the same mistake I did. Take control of your situation and get the answer you’re looking for.”I also just read something on relationship rewind saying NC backfires and doesn’t work!?! what do I do!?! 🙁
Yeah that is a good point… I so often over analyze and over compare trying to “figure things out”
And yeah that’s true about the girl at work… if he wasn’t interested before why would he now. I know we both need time and space and I really really miss him and I WANT to just talk it out now. I know he can say things out of anger and has before and doesn’t mean it… I just am most concerned bc we had a 3.5 week break in October and I don’t know if he will think that since it didn’t work after that break, it no longer will work out ever? And even that break was framed as a break up but he never said that friends thing and that scares me bc what if he just does not love me anymore? Even though 2 weeks ago I went to where he works (at a restaurant he’s security) and he could not take his eyes off of me.I’m so confused and hate not knowing what will happen. 🙁 I haven’t contacted him today and it is just day one of my NC 🙁
He also used to call me princess and send me kissy texts before we were dating and then he would always call me beautiful in texts and he told me it wasn’t the same doing that because I had become so needy and he missed when I wasn’t so needy and I don’t know it makes me sad I don’t know if I can get that back ever :'(
@finntoga
Thanks so much 🙂I will do a 30 day no contact but the beginning is always the worst and I’m still worried he won’t think we have a chance since we already had one break. This past “fight” kinda started when I sent him 50 texts on my first day back to work and I’m sure it was super overwhelming. He had also ignored me for a week before that bc I had sent like 20 texts and then kept texting…but I was so scared he would just leave me 🙁 His grandmother died about 5 weeks ago and after that he was super distant too and things for us got way way worse. I wanted to support him and he doesn’t like to be a burden on anyone else so he didn’t talk to me much about it.
This past Wednesday I texted him trying to come to his house to talk bc he hadn’t spoken to me in a little over a week. I’m not sure if his phone was working or not…if it was it probably upset him more because I “went crazy” once again. I know I need to work on my insecurities and anxieties and fears and also be able to give space and trust. He needs to also work on stuff and I’m worried he will move on. There is this girl that works with him and I think that she likes him. He told me I had nothing to be jealous of and said that I knew I had nothing to be jealous of. I do not think that he likes her but she still bothered me because, while he did not flirt back, she would try to flirt with him and now I’m scared she is going to try and steal my man 🙁
And I guess if he loves me enough he will come back but I also am worried because he does have a 5 year old and had broken up with the mother of his son so if he broke up with her then how do I have a chance!?!?! Even so, he had told me I was different than any girl he had previously been with for him so hopefully that means he cared about me even more…? Just feeling so confused and I want him back 🙁
I feel bad for all the emails the day of the break up and also the one I sent yesterday. I don’t even know if he has read them yet 🙁
@Finntoga
Thanks so much for your response :/I guess I am really really hurt and upset this was done through email. He seriously is the love of my life and he had told me I was different for him than any other girl and he was willing to fight for frustration to be with me because he loved me so much :/
I feel completely heartbroken. He broke up for like 3.5 weeks in October and didn’t communicate that he really wanted a break and he ws so mean right after the break up. Then when we got back together he said he was too frustrated and we had a little break and now we can work things out… and that the time we spent not talking was for him to work on him and me on myself.
He knows about all my mental health stuff at the moment too. He also should be in therapy but he isn’t as he has anxiety ptsd and anger issues.
I feel completely empty. Why did he not tell me his phone would be off? Of course I freaked out. I want to know if he was planning to break up with me these 11 day that he wasn’t speaking or he was just mad and me sending more made it worse.
I know right now sending more won’t help us break the cycle… even if he did take me back it would put us back in the cycle. I just wanted to speak in person and talk things out. Today is day one of NC and last time I did 21 days and felt better about myself and got him back, but we still both fell back into old habits.
My issue was I trust him in the sense of fidelity but because of the ignoring I did not trust he would not just never talk to me again and for that reason I would blow up his phone.
I want to know if I have a chance. Some friends say definitely not others say who knows others say yes because we are codependent. :/
I don’t know how I will get through this right now. We talked about marriage, our kids, everything and now I feel like he cares nothing about me bc he broke up via email I think out of anger prob bc I contacted his work email.
I guess I feel hopeless? I want him back and I do not want him to move on. In some of my rash emails 2 days ago I said I could not be his friend bc I could not bear seeing him with another girl… also he does NOT remain friends w exes so that really ticked me off especially since he and I were never completely friends, he wanted to be with me. I have so many questions and want to know his real intentions…if he will work on him and wait for me or if he will think we are hopeless and won’t work and move on :/
Any advice?
Could someone else shed light on this?
I apparently sent closer to 50 than 60 emails which is still bad but not as bad as I thought.
Today I sent one and plan on doing NC from now one for at least 30 days. However, I want to know if I have a chance getting him back given that he broke up in October and was super angry and didn’t say the friends thing and apparently wanted a break all along and this time the friends thing really ticked me off and idk what that means bc he does NOT talk to his exes!!! and he like in august had said we didn’t need to be together as long as we dont lose each other (he said this when i had threatened to leave him) so idk what to think and i’m so hurt and confused and at the start of our relationship he had said similar stuff a lot as hd hi and he didn’t mean it but idk what to think right now 🙁 🙁 🙁 jaskld;fja;slfdjasf Help please!
I just want to know if we have a chance and if he was just really hurt and mad and broke up out of emotion… I read stuff on codependency and it said how he ended it really just increases the cycle and you don’t need to break up to end codependency you just need to stop the behaviors… I love him so much and he doesn’t keep exes around so the friend thing still ticks me off and makes me upset bc I feel like he may just want a break for us to work on our own issues without saying that… Like his only thing was bc I “go crazy all the time” and he “can’t put up with this anymore”
I just want to know if he will wait for me like last time. He’s seriously the love of my life.Thanks.. Yeah I guess my fear is he will give up on us and think we cannot work on our issues and be together. I know he previously had wanted that and that’s why he broke up in October but he never told me he just wanted a break until after the fact so i have no idea what he really wants now. I know I need to work on my own issues and can do that regardless if I get my baby back or not… I just want to know what he is really thinking and why he said the friends thing when he is not friends w any exes I want to know if he meant he really just wants a break 🙁 I guess I don’t know though and dwelling on it doesn’t help. My therapist says we are codependent and she thinks He will come back bc he is codependent on me too and she wants me to work through breaking the thorns of codependency surrounding the actual love and caring. I’m just heart broken and I want to know if we have a chance of getting back together 🙁
I’m also worried that what if he just thinks it will never ever work etc bc we had had a three week break before and then were good for four months 🙁 also I’m struggling w anxiety depression and eating disorder and he has known this the whole time. I’m in treatment and getting help for it and I don’t want him to give up on me and on us 🙁 I also don’t think it is only my fault as he knew if he told me he needed space I would send way fewer texts…
Also one of my last emails said I would never be his friend bc I couldn’t bare him being my friend and moving on with someone else…like he is not friends w ex girlfriends so I wanted to know the truth behind that… And I feel bad for my email bc I said he would lose me forever if he didn’t respond and just left it at an email break up bc then I felt like he didn’t care about me at all etc…
:/
And I’m aware he prob broke up out of anger bc I had emailed his work but if he had told me his phone was out of commission that wouldn’t have happened. And why did he feel the need to tell me what happened (so I knew he want ignoring me) if all he wanted was to break up….Yeah, I mean that was the reason he broke up both times I think… The blowing up. And it was difficult because he would ignore and then I would blow up his phone even more out of anxiety… He had gone 4 months not ignoring me but I was still struggling. I realized I made a mistake with all the emails yesterday as I “went crazy”
The last time we broke up he had said he would go to the police and say I was stalking if I kept texting and then it turned out 3 weeks later that he only had wanted a break for me to work on me and him on him…. He failed at communicating that though.
I’m really hurt he did it via email and of course I was freaking out bc I hadn’t heard from him, he could have told me his phone wasn’t working.I also am concerned about how he seemed ao angry in the email and at the same time was like “have a good one” -.-
Which is hurtful.
Yes I know I had issues with all the texts during the relationship and I wanted to speak with him in person about it so we could go get back on track. What should I do? Do I even have a chance at getting him back?? 🙁 It also bothered me about being friends in the future… Also times he has been mad he has don’t stuff like this and like said he was breaking up but he wasn’t. But this time felt more real and I don’t want to chase after him anymore bc that continues a vicious cycle. Do I have a chance at getting him back? I’m stopping w the emails and haven’t sent any today and the texts were during our relationship which was also a mistake. We never fought in person either so this really aucks. Do I have a chance?
