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rusty red I know what you mean-during my first few body pump lessons I ran out crying!
The way that helped me get through NC was (and it sounds horrible) you really have to stop thinking about the good times you had. I had to strip my room bare from photos and memories! And for your own sanity you have to think negative thoughts about them for a while…i stopped thinking about what I was missing from not having him, and instead wht he was missing from me 🙂
At first I was scAred of losing my feelings for him as I didn’t want to let go, but you really have to be strong enough to! Just think when you want to see them again and get back together, you want them to see a new and improved you! Which in turn might make them think a new, improved and exciting relationship is on the cards!Also just think-no contact is giving YOU the power 🙂 you’ll feel more in power by resisting talking to them-because they will probably be expecting you to give in…prove them wrong and that your better 😉
I miss mine horrendous amounts 🙁 but if I do I think “hey, will he be missing me?”
Also, start up a new hobby! I started boxing and body pump…great ways to let out emotional stress and hVe fun and take your mind off it 🙂 plus it’s something to talk about when your ex starts talking to you again ☺️
Rusty red Definately keep no contact!
I’m on day 36 of no contact and feel so much better about myself. It really helps you to control your emotions and be able to look at the situation from a head point of view, not the heart 🙂Definately make yourself miletones like thargus said! Whenever I feel like texting mine I always post on here cos I know others are going through the same 🙂
I know how you feel though rusty red-although I was with my ex for shorter than you (3years), we spoke every dy for 4/4.5 years including our relationship 🙁 it’s hard and I get upset thinking he could replace me…but Definately stay no contact 🙂
You will feel SO proud of yourself at every milestone! 😀
Yeah 🙁 its horrible to think it, because at the moment I cant think of anything worse than kissing someone else! I’m not sure whether he definately has or not…but I know its something he wouldnt not do 🙁 I know his friends send each other snapchats of girls bedrooms that they’re about to sleep with saying stuff like “score” and “getting ready ;)” which is really disgusting (his friends used to send it to him when he was with me and we used to open them and laugh) but now I worry that maybe he saw them and maybe thought I wish I was doing that kind of thing 🙁
Yeah, thats what I’m hoping! :S I would hope he would have a bit more respect for me , and himself to not do that….but at the same time, I thought he cared about me enough that he would have contacted me by now 🙁 Who knows what goes on in a boys head (particularly his :/)
I feel exactly the same way with mine. After reading these two comments, I can definately relate! After 5 weeks of NC I’ve realised that although he might not want to be in a relationship with me (at the moment or whatever i going through his mind) I still desperately want him in my life – he’s my soul mate!
In reply – my progress hasnt grown with my ex – however it has with myself! He’s been visiting his friends at different universities the past few weekends, and I can guarantee he has probably kissed a few other girls, if not slept with them…which makes me feel really sick, but at the same time I know that he’s getting it out of his system and because I havent done anything or spoken to him to make him dislike me or say im trying to get him back, he will hopwfully one day realise what he’s lost in me! 🙁 I do still love and miss him terribly….
But I can completely agree – even if we dont get back together straight away i want him in my life as my soul mate and my best friend 🙁 I was going to try contact him this weekend but am still too scared to! :/
awww thank you! yeah the first 2 weeks were terrible i must admit – I was crying every day, sometimes twice a day! But then I got to the point where i got annoyed and angry at him instead – much better 😛 I mean I do love him and would love to get back together…but at the same time I want to make him work for it a little bit. And he must be still feeling something a month later – hopefully :S ahhh its scary
but NC does get a lot easier! for me it worked as a change of mindset. I loved him, but I didnt want him dumping me ruling my life kind of thing 🙁
Yeah, thats what I was thinking. Was thinking sunday night? then I would have seen our mutual friends, he would have seen the play on saturday, so sunday night I can ask him how the play was and then i can say about how I saw our friends and that they say hey or whatever… that was the plan anyway :S maybe! eeeek am so new to this!
kaila – Noooo I didn’t 🙁 I kept chickening out and getting the opinions of my friends/parents who said not to :S and now because Ive been thinking about it too much/heard what his sister has said its putting me off 🙁
KD1988 – Im thinking about asking him about the play hes going to see tomorrow? im not too sure! Im seeing some of our old friends from college tonight so didnt know whether to mention like “guess who I saw last night!” kind of thing?
Exactly – I feel like I am emotionally stable now – I even went on a date! but it felt completely wrong. But I wanted to make sure I was in the right place so that I didn’t go all “I WANT YOU BACK SO BADLY” on him when we did finally talk again!
I must admit I am bummed out that he hasn’t bothered to contact me at all 🙁 we we’re such good friends before we went out and best friends during the 3 years – it has suprised me that he hasn’t even bothered to reach out and see if im okay/congratulate me on my new job 🙁 but hey ho. Exactly! at least I know I can do no contact. He better realise what he’s missing 😛
If he’s out during the day tomorrow, shall I message him the evening? he’s going to see mamma mia with his sister haha – I didnt know whether to ask about that?
Thats very true KD1988!
I guess its just made me more nervous now because he was the one who broke up with me, the main reason being he wanted to be single for a while and not in a relationship. 🙁 I just dont want to feel vulnerable again!
Exactly! a week after we broke up his sister asked me if i had got with anyone else – I was lke um, no!!! and yep, Im definately “theres plenty more fish in the sea”-ed out! I want my fish back haha!
exactly Thargus – it sucks so bad! She asked if I had spoken to him, I said no but was thinking about texting him and she was like “oooh….do you want to get back together with him then?” and I said a firm no (as shes seeing him this weekend and I knew what I would say would get back to him), but that I missed him. This is when she said “well as long as you make it so its obvious you want to be friends otherwise I think he’ll get the wrong impression…or maybe wait a bit longer?”
Its really difficult when this kind of thing happens 🙁 I know she loves both of us (but at the same time her loyalties lie with her brother) but its thrown me a bit now! i was so confident and ready to go! and it doesnt help when i ask how he is I get the “oh yeah hes good!” -ahhhhh, great :/ haha
hello 🙂 so a couple of days ago my no contact ended (Im now on day 35/36?) and I was all geared up to finally text my ex after wimping out so many times!!
however, i saw his sister yesterday, and she thinks that if I text him it will give him the wrong impression (that Im only contacting him because he thinks I want to get back with him)
now im really stuck! I really miss him and really, really want to talk to him…but now im even more scared that if I message him he wont reply and I’ll end up getting horrendously upset 🙁
Should I ignore the advice or should I take it on board and just wait a bit longer to contact?
ahh I hope so! its worrying me that he hasnt contacted me at all, i thought he would have to be honest 🙁
nooo it will be fine! to be fair I feel LOADS better after this whole no contact thing – I didnt think it would work but its the best thing I could have done, as I now feel when I speak to him I won’t come across as needy and still desperately missing him terribly! He comes back tomorrow evening so am going to contact around 4:30 ish, so that it doesnt look as though I’ve waited until hes finished work at 5.
However, I’ll let you know if I get a reply….my chest is pounding just thinking about it!Hello! I disappeared for a bit today – was going to contact my ex but found out hes on a work trip with his work buddies ….so think Im going to wait until hes lonely in the evenings and not having fun 😛
However now I’ve got the worry that his feelings will go completely if I leave it any longer! surely after almost 3 years though feelings cant go after 35 days :S having a bit of a worry – day 35 of no contact though, am pretty proud at that! 😀
