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Cassie, should I write anything to her at ALL like anything? And do you personally think that the letter was a good idea?
Nvm.. I’m going on full NC, even though she decides to call me or anything I won’t answer for a month. My friends are saying that I should join them on a friends birthday party, should I go? They’re going to drink and party etc. And I’m pretty sure my ex will somehow find out
Go on full NC, it’s the best you can do! But if you see her, don’t be rude to her and don’t start talking about your feelings and the break up.
Go to the birthday party – why not?! You two arent together anymore so you can do as you please, but if you’re trying to get her back, dont hook up with other girls.I shouldn’t hook up with other girls? Should I at least somehow show her that other girls are interested or that I’m interested in others? Like for example when I go to the party, should I take a picture and lay it on mystory on snap or maybe instagram? To show her that I’m doing fine? Do you actually think that there is any chance for me to get my ex back at all?
Wow.. all of my questions, I’m a loser…
It seems in your previous replies that she doesnt trust you around other girls and that you’ve cheated on her. My advice to you, if you really want her back, she needs to trust you again and the for sure wont trust you if she sees you with other girls. You need to show her that she’s the only girl you want. If she sees you with other girls, she’ll just think that breaking up was the best thing.
That sounds like a good idea.. But how can I show her that I have changed and that I’m doing good independently? And how can I know if she’s trying to hook up with someone else? Our facebook relationship + our pictures on instagram is still there..
If she hooks up with someone else just be cool about it. It will be a quick rebound and it’ll be over before you know it. I know it will hurt you, but dont put too much into it.
Showing her that you’ve changed is going to take time. You cant rush it. To start, take 30 days for yourself. In 30 days see how you feel, and then you can contact her. It is here you’ll be showing her that you are trying to change.
Also, not getting with other girls for 30 days will show her a good side of you 🙂I’ve hurt her a lot, and I think that everything she’s doing now is to make me get hurt too. And she has successfully done that, but I’m afraid that if she hooks up with another guy that I will completely lose all of my feelings for her…
I’m pretty sure she have read the letter, it shows her that I’ll wait for her and that a time off is a good idea, but what I’m not completely sure about is wherever this is a break up or a break. She says it’s a break up, but it doesn’t feel like it when she hasn’t removed our relationship from facebook? She doesn’t want to make it official.. Which means there is still hope right? But I should really just get myself together and work on myself while she does the same. And give her time, because I promised her that.
Where do I actually stand according to the relationship rewind? At “the death’s door”? Or between “the death’s door” and “drift”?
And keep in mind… She’s my first everything, as well as I’m her first everything.. She says that she doesn’t trust guys and never will anymore, so hopefully that indicates that she doesn’t want anyone if she doesn’t want me, right? She said that before I gave her the letter 3 days ago.
If you loose all feelings for her if she hooks up with another guy, then so be it. That’s her problem, not yours. For now, just give her space and she’ll let you know when she’s ready to end it completely or get back together. 🙂
I think right now she’s hurt and confused.. and when you’re hurt and confused you do and say things you dont mean. How long were you together?
We were together for 2 years. 1 year distance relationship, we managed that just fine. It was hard at times, but our love for each other never faded. After I moved to her city and I got a flat which was 5 minutes from her house we started to hang out each and everyday. I ate dinner there, slept over every weekend, we hang around 24/7, just us. No friends, no hobbies, no work. Oh.. And we also went to the same school, same classes. So basically we were together 24/7 for a whole year.
Things will get better 🙂
This NC is also for you to think about the past mistakes in order for you to be a better boyfriend, if you get back together.. Often time and space is a good thing.. it puts everything into perspective and eventually she’ll miss you so much that she forgets the bad times and just remember the good 🙂 But it can take time so try and be patient.
I will be patient, honestly I lost myself completely.. I can see how much I changed, I can see how much I destroyed everything that was good between me and her. I think the letter that I sent her was a good idea. And it showed her that I still care and that she can contact me when SHE is ready. I’m sure we’ll end up together again, maybe not for a few months. But eventually, one can’t just forget all the memories we had.. She’s mad at me, she doesn’t trust me and she doesn’t want to talk with me. I’ll respect that and give her time. And as you said! Often time and space is a good thing, which I think in my case it really is.
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