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Honestly I think it was a mistake, as much as I wanted it. It should not have happened. It’s set me back, we both talked in the morning. She is shut off to any emotion, part of me thinks it was her trying to get control back. Which worked.
@Gingerone I think you should keep playing it cool, take it slow and see where it goes. As ty10 said trust your gut and after a few meetings decide if it’s the time to bring this topic up. I know it seems confusing, but I think it looks promising. Even if she can’t meet up on specific day it doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to. Stay positive!
Hi guys! Here’s what’s been going on recently.
Like I last mentioned we were both going back home for a few days and ment to go for a hike on one of them days. But she suggested we meet up before that.
So we met up the night before the hike, but due to her day being in hospital she had to go visit. She asked me to drive her down which I was cool with. She even asked me to go see her dad as support. So i did. After the visit we went out for food and had a great time. As I went to drop her off at home, she asked if I would stay the night. I said I would if she was sure. I stayed the night we got close hugged and kissed. The next day we woke up made breakfast together and set off on our hike. We had an amazing time, she kept smiling and complementing me. That night she had to go see her father in hospital again and again asked if I would come along, which I did. I was ment to drive back to the city that night for work but again she asked if I would stay the night. I said I would if she was sure. Again we hugged and kissed. She woke me up in the night to say she missed me.
I drove back to the city early morning but we kept in touch via txt. I had an event on sat and she kept texting me to say she was sending me positive vibes and to let her know how I got on.
I told her I had done well at the event, she said she would ring me. We spoke on the phone and she said she was proud of me and told her mum & gran so.
Yesterday she was in contact saying she would be back in the city at some point asking if I was busy etc. I said I had no plans. She contacted me when she got back askin what I was up too, I said as was just watching a film. She replied with how she wished she was cuddled up with me watching a film. I said she was more than welcome to come round. So in the end she came round to mine we watched a film hugged kissed and cuddled. She stayed the night and in the morning when I left for work we kissed again and she even called me babe.So that’s all of that’s been going on. We’ve been close, closer than we have been for ages. She even posted pics of our hike on Facebook. I think it’s going well I know for sure she still has feelings but I’m trying to play it cool not put to much pressure on her. I want her back but I need to gain her trust again and with every encounter I’m working on that.
Honestly this is all great and after having nothing it’s hard not to want to take every opportunity to be available.
But mate you need to make plans apart from her, tell her your to busy one night. If she is needing support because her dad is sick, sounds like she has come to the place where it’s easy to get it.
You need to not be so available to her. Let it all be slow, you have gone from nothing to seeing each tight loads.
It does seem like a start of a new relationship and that’s great! however I agree with Jburg32 on this, try not to be so available to her. I know it’s hard but you have to take it slow. Even if she’s willing to see you everyday and hanging out with you, she might be doing it because she needs the support right now or someone to comfort her. You don’t want her to reach out to you only during her hard times. I think once in a while you should tell her you’re busy, that way she’ll appreciate you and try to get your attention even more.
Brilliant signs and steps!!!
However, like @oshi said- there could be a small chance that she just needs support. Take your time, don’t be too available, be yourself but be cool. You want her to reach out not just when she needs someone but just to see you.
Chuffed for you though.
I thought it was! Untill today! We’ve been hanging out a lot even staying the night and hugging etc and I can tell by the way she looks at me she had feelings. She keeps saying I look fit, how cute i do things! She even keeps smiling at me when she thinks I don’t notice. But today we went out for breakfast and she told me she didn’t want to lead me on. We went out for the day anyway and had a great time. But I feel disappointed, with everything that’s been going on I know she has feelings but now I’m not sure how I should play it! @oshi & @ty10 what do u both think?
Look mate we have all said what to do and how to stop this. This website is great but people have to want to help themselves.
@jburg32 yes ok I get it be less acsasible for her. What else should I do? Should I tell her I want to be more than friends or just ignore her for a while?
Oh @gingerone I feel for you I do. It sounded like it was going well. What exactly did she say to you in detail – did she say that she doesn’t want a relationship with you? It’ll help to know.
You do have a decision to make though if she is friend zoning you… do you tell her how you feel which would effectively force her hand but could mean that it all ends then and there as you’re putting her on the spot. Or do you wait it out?
As we keep saying… stop being so available for her. We’re all guilty of doing it even during our relationships but if she comes to you and keeps coming then it’s a sign.
@ty10 we went out for breakfast and she mentioned her mum had said we were hanging out a lot again and that she shouldn’t lead me on. And if I was ok with that! It’s a blur to be honest. I just said in panic Ye I was fine with it. It knocked me a bit because of how close we had been recantly. We had made plans to go out for the day. So we did we went shopping (she helped me choose some new jeans and kept saying how fit I looked etc) then we went for drinks had a really good time. I can tell she still has feelings by the looks and the comments. We then went for food and decided to go home. On the way back she asked if it was ok if she went home alone tonight! To which I said of course it was. I walked her home then went home myself.
Few hrs later she txt me asking if I was ok? I said I was fine just watching tv in bed. She replied with thanks for two lovely days ?
I was a bit drunk and annoyed so I just replied with glad you enjoyed. She must have known I was upset & being off because she txt back asking if there was something wrong? Was it something she said or done!
I should have told her straight then but I didnt! Don’t know which way to go now like u said @ty10 I could tell her how I feel and see how it plays out, or I could wait it out and see what happens!To me it sounds like her mum has got involved and is trying to protect not only her daughter but you as well. I’m never keen with others getting involved in a relationship, with my ex I know she has influence from others and I stupidly listened to one of my friends too. All it does is make things worse.
Really what you shoud’ve done when the leading on was brought up is ask ‘are youleading me on’. Hindsight is a wonderful thing…
All you can do now is go back to being less available and try not to overthink (easier said than done). If she keeps coming back it’s clear that there’s something there but to me it sounds like she is confused.
I wasn’t meaning to have a go, but you have to stop laying down and taking all this bullshit.
She is dangling you by a string, I personally think her mum didn’t make that comment she is battling with her self. So always keeping an exit plan and not having to commit her self to anything.
It’s not fair on you because we are all guilty of it being there like a lap dog. She didn’t sense anything was up, you did the right thing by telling her go home alone and you was fine. She was just making sure you was still there and she was being needy.
Unfortunately I don’t think giving her an ultimatum will work, you just have to be stronger. Then if she asks if there is something wrong, jsit tell her the truth say your protecting your self, her telling you she doesn’t want to lead you on. Has made you realise, you don’t want to invest to much emotionally. As to develop non reciprocated feelings at this time l.
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