Dont know where to go from here. HELP. KEVIN? A.Z.?

thank you! and good luck to you. i think taking a trip together is a great idea – it will give you really a chance to bond together and show her how great it can be between you guys. our situations are a bit different because my ex doesnt want a committed relationship with anyone but yours does – you just need to show her it should be with you! be nice, be romantic, be spontaneous. try to surprise her with all the positive changes you’ve made. i really think she’ll appreciate them and this will work out for the best – the fact that she’s even willing to go with you shows she’s not ready to close the door yet

maybe its not you at all but she just feels in order for you to be successful as a couple in the future she needs time to herself and to date around. thats how my ex feels and he feels he hasn’t had enough chances to do so in 2.5 months, but yours has had 7 months already, so it must be so frustrating…if in another 4-5 months my ex is still doing this I’m not sure how i would handle that

I remember when my boyfriend (now ex, who I’m trying to get back) and I went camping during Labor Day weekend. It was the best thing ever. Every night he would literally whisper sweet nothings in my ear, and one night he said we were soulamtes. I loved being able to sleep in his arms, I felt so safe. The sad part was we got so used to having each other in the same bed. And @LAbound, same. I can’t imagine that with anyone but him. My gut says we will get back together sometime, I know he still cares and wants me somewhere deep down. I’m just very stuck right now

i completely agree with all of you, but i think that will come in time and we will know if/when we feel ready. i think if some months down the line we still haven’t reconciled i will begin to accept more that its over and can maybe enjoy dating more. for right now i very much feel like were “on a break” so its hard for me to commit to anyone/anything else. i just wish i knew how many months it would either really be over or he would be back. i do think he plans on coming back its just a matter of time when but i don’t want to spend years waiting around…
and @labound i agree. thats how i feel right now. my ex basically told me that its not me at all, that he has these internal desires to explore and be single before he settles down. so theres really nothing i can do/change. our relationship was wonderful up until the last night. no fights or problems or anything. he’s told me multiple times it has absolutely nothing to do with me or us and something he just needs to go through but he hopes it will make us stronger and bring us back to each other in the end. its really such a frustrating position for me to be in…im on 8 days NC

I don’t know. But maybe the same as me. TRYYY to focus on your own life. Try to limit the amount of times you think of him (maybe set aside 5 minutes every three hours where you’re allowed to think of him for a start). But you can’t just go NC or LC and wait, you have to actively do new things in your life to fill up the void that’s been left. New hobbies and such. I’m learning languages and started blogging. hope that helps some

@aphrodite has your ex given you an indication he wants to reconcile in the future?

@atea1234 Nope:( Quite the opposite. I asked if he thought he would ever want to get back together and he replied “probably not”. That’s why logic says we won’t get back together but it doesn’t stop my gut feeling.

In a previous break up with the same guy he said “do whatever you want with whoever you want because I don’t care” which I found out was clearly not true, and we got back together.
He’s was EXTREMELY up and down (asking me to move in and taking it back the NEXT day for example) right before this current break up which is why I don’t know where his heart is at, despite what he said.
Do you have any thoughts?

@Aphrodite, I think I’ve came a long way in doing that in a month or less. I think I’m going to apologize tonight, do you think it’ll help with all the hard work I’ve put into getting him back?

I’m scared to do it. I’ve worked so hard to get me back, and to get him back. I still so incomplete without him. It was just 5 months, almost 6, but that’s pretty long. I mean we had a very deep and real connection, we clicked like it was nothing. We’re a like, but not completely a like. We had our differences, but that’s called a personality. Ever since my grandpa died, I just lost touch with myself, because he was here for my life for 19 years and I just couldn’t handle anything. I can’t explain the full connection we had, there’s just so much there