-
Posts
-
So u think… My ex just like u?
Why don’t you get it @aryyan ?
Should my Ex just forget that I hurt her and take me back on my terms?
I made a mistake. I have accepted that and told her that. She knows that I love her and that I want her back but I guess that she is unsure and it is on her terms or nothing (it always was anyway). This is why I wonder if she is simply testing me to see how long I will stick by her and fight for our relationship despite all of the obstacles she might put in my way, or if she is just hoping that she can replace me with someone else but needs my support when she has no support from others?
I don’t hurt any less because I was the dumper and not the dumpee, I can assure you of that.
No I don’t think that your Ex is anything like me @aryyan
I am unable to or have great difficulty moving on or attempting to move on to a new.relationship when I am still cut up about a previous relationship.
It once took me 4 years and being in a new relationship for 9 months before I was properly able to put one important relationship when I was in my late 20’s and early 30’s behind me.
As suggested on here I have tried to date other girls this time but I can’t take it beyond friendship really.
Dont worry. I try my best to understand you one by one.
Ok lets take a look:
For me, should your ex forget your mistakes and take you back, for me…if i were your ex, i would accept you back because of love. Yes i will not forget the pain memories. Nobody is perfect. And if she loves u still, she will take u back and believe that u guys will be alright. I think she still loves u but the trust issue is there and yes the unsure, the insecure control her decision.
Yes i do believe she is trying to test u to see whether u really want her or not? Are u fight for her for your love and for relationship enough? Words is not good enough! She trust actions more than words i think. Since you are the dumper, in sure the dumpee expect u to give more respond and more actions if u really want her back. Its logic as a dumpee
Yes since u r such a great guy, i do believe she might think whatever she did, it might sound wrong and she needs your support if anything wrong. But i think the testing one is more logic than back up thing since she is not responding u that much.
You can date but for me, its better to tame your time for yourself first and then put others. You beed to imporive and correct yourself. More wise than move on right away. We never know in the future. But if u wait, better things will happen.
Well, im sure that my ex is not a person who likes to be alone all the time. He moved too fast i dont know. But he seems very happy which it hurts so much!!
@aryyan Thank you so much for your last post.
I understand exactly what you are saying and where my Ex is coming from too. I just wish that she would stop with the games as they push me further away.
She has had my support on almost everything. I sometimes wonder if I have given her too much support and that she sees me as a bit of a soft touch, even though she said that she “knows that I’m strong… stronger than most.”
I have worked on myself a lot and I thought that I was over feeling so stressed by this relationship fall out. We have only been chatting again 4 weeks and already there are signs of us encountering problems again, which kind of proves the point my Ex was making last week or so (which I agreed with).
How do you put all of your emotions to one side when you care about somebody so much?
I felt strong towards the end of my NC period in November. In tge space of 4 weeks I feel like I am about to revert to the quivering wreck that I was in June, August, September and October.
You are right I shouldn’t have sent that message I did a few hours ago but I had been out this evening and I was upset at a second day of no contact as we had spoke almost every day in December up until that point. I am also upset about her being online throughout the day and until the early hours but not speaking to me recently and about this vacation that she has planned in the early part of the New Year.
I need to keep that upset to myself, or at least not let her see much of ut though.
@aryyan There are a lot if people out there who struggle with being alone. I believe that my Ex struggles with this too. I know that many if my family and close friends do.
Its not that games that she focus on. Its the expectation of your efforts and actions that she wants. Believe me. I expect high from my ex of his efforts and actions. You did support her a lot. Its not a wrong thing. To be honest. Its not. Its the thing that she wants. But perhaps she is doing her Lc or NC too to see whether you chased her or not. Sometimes people said “its better to be awhile to see who come for you or who doesnt care”
but for me, your ex gf is confused or something bothering her or maybe has her own other purpose. Why? Because u did all your things for her even tho u dumped her u still show her u want her. But it seems like she still ignores u, there must be got other purpose. Did u get what i mean? Is she a person who did a lot of wrong decision? Is she indecisive ? Because sometimes, she might be overthinking or something bothering her that makes her unsure and insecure about your actions. Perhaps she expect more from u but she did wrong action.
Its hard to put all emotion in one side my dear friend. Its not that easy but u have no choice, u have to follow with the flow. Slowly. Step by step. Believe me your situation, u still can have her. Why? Because u let her go and not her choice. Believe me she loves u. But she is unsure and insecure. The trust issue. The mind games. Interrupt u guys.
Yes. Sometimes i feel like my ex bf be with her because she made him feel better. But its unfair because i tried my best to make hum better and not feel alone but he keep driftIng away
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.