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How you doing? I received a message today that was quite positive in my interpretation: “Kev. You know I care about you and I like the idea of still being in each other’s lives, but I can’t say in what capacity that may be. I want you to feel supported though. One thing I can promise you is to be there when you need me. Day or night I want to support you when you need it. Despite all our shit, one thing you always were was supportive of me during a hard time. That is something I want to be for you.” Let me know your thoughts. Please update me your side…
Ugh how did you respond. I’ve received similar from my ex in the past and whilst you could get back together it also just seems like a lead on so you’re still in her life. I probably wouldn’t have responded myself because I feel it might have led into an emotional conversation. If you did reply is that what happened ? I think friends with your ex is bullshit and I’ve told my ex as much. As much as I want him in my life I’m too crazy to sit back and watch him move on, but I don’t know about you.
Still nothing from my ex since he sent that message about not getting accepted into this intake in his career. Guess he might not have liked how I responded to him ? Bit disappointed. Been stalking him a bit and I saw he was snap chatting someone for a bit but it could be any of his friends but there was some back and forth between them :/. I’m an over thinker in case you didn’t notice 😛
To be honest I don’t think it had anything to do with your response. I think he was testing the waters to check if u were still responding and available. Once he got his fix and felt confident he could have you back it gave him the strength to not have to contact you any longer. Bleh I responded and we spoke a little. Ended up talking about trying things again and she said it wasn’t the right time to decide yet. Which I kinda take as positive but I also don’t want her feeling like she can call all the shots. Its screwed up. I don’t wanna play power games but she has all the power and say in this situation and I have none. Which is difficult. Sometimes I believe a guy can sort things out with a girl with her having all the power. Problem is she is feeding me these slightly interested signs and if I blow her off it could spiral into “fuck you you think you can blow me off, ill show you” moments.
Perhaps but he said to me a while ago even if we aren’t friends he would still let me know how the application process goes and that he would also like to hear about my uni and stuff so weird. And even though he had his fix I don’t think it was what he was expecting to be honest though. Just annoying though feels like we’re growing away from each other for good now.
Ah see thats what I worry about. i know how hard it is to not have that talk. I did it many times in the past after my first breakup with this ex. However she’s going to think you’re still there and still begging and stuff. This time round I learnt not to discuss the breakup really. If you interact together keep it about anything but your breakup and reconciliation. You can talk about the great times you had in your relationship but nothing surrounding the end or beginning again.
Talk about being an overthinker. I know what u mean. Its funny how easy it is to think through someone elses situation and see advice clearly. But for yourself it is so difficult… Anyway. Nothing from the ex today. I know I’m not following this advice but I think it would be a good idea to stop checking what ur ex is doing. It only drives u nuts and makes no contact harder. At the end of the day you can do your best but u cannot control what the other person does. If he hooks up with someone else or gets a new girlfriend then you deserve someone who respects your love enough to not throw it aside like that. You have said your part. U don’t wanna be friends. You wanna be in a relationship. But you need to respect yourself enough to say if he cannot offer that to you then you will find someone who can. This is not easy advice to hear and it is slightly counter intuitive. When he sees that you have moved on then he will be faced with the real decision of losing you forever. And then the boot is on your foot to choose if he deserves you back. I had a girlfriend (my second long term relationship). She broke up with me many times. She was incredibly jealous and needy. I accepted her for it. And I knew she couldn’t stand losing me. If I spoke to female friends she would freak out. Always check my phone in my sleep and wake me up in the middle of the night crying because some chick I hadn’t seen in 5 years sent an x at the end of a message. It was ridiculous. She would break up with me every time she had her period. For 18 months straight I got broken up with every period. And 2 or 3 days would pass and she would call me crying and get back together with me. I didn’t ever care. I knew she was too crazy for me to stay broken up. But one day she broke up with me for real. Something was different. I don’t know why but I could sense it. This time she was ready to move on with her life without me. And I went ballistic. I started chasing and begging like never before. We got back together after about 3 weeks and a year later she fucken dropped me in the biggest pile of horseshit I’ve ever been in. Anyway the point is, once you REALLY lose someone, you know. Emotion kicks in and trust me I don’t give a shit how hard you try, you CANNOT control such strong emotion. I know I’m rambling on and on but you get what I’m saying. Its really a win win. You can meet someone new and at the same time test whether this relationship really is important to this asshole. Anyway. Goodnight
I see we responded round the same time. What the fuck does that mean if ur not friend he still wants to hear about that shit and tell you about his shit. That’s like being friends without ur consent. Piss or get off the pot. You cannot have the best of both worlds. He is saying I want you to be just enough of a girlfriend that I need while I find another one. Fuck that!
Lol well wow that ex seems kinda crazy. I was crazy but I never ended it with him just threatened him and try and spark some more care into him or something. I dunno I’m delusional I don’t think we’ll ever get back or get the opportunity to try again :(. Today I went rock climbing and put a photo on snapchat to which he said “looks epic”. Odd but its also an activity I think he would have been surprised that I would do cause I’m a pussy and weak as hell lol.Just wanna know whats up but given how things have been this last few weeks feels as though we’re drifting apart permanently to move on for good.
Lol you got quite worked up about that comment above haha. Its very unfair and I understand he may just be leading me on for his ego boost but I think there gets to a certain point where you either make up your mind or you walk away for good and stop the shit. And I think because its more than 3 months after we broke up its getting ridiculous and that if it was really over he should have walked away for good at least a month or so ago to stop this shit.
This is my issue its been three months and counting for me. Yet I gave her the opportunity to walk and allow it on her terms the other day and she asks me to stay and won’t say goodbye. Case of doesn’t want me but wants no one to have me I think.
Lol hey Jburg32 its fucking fucked hey. My ex is 31 years old and this is childs behaviour. And for a man too so indecisive like I’m the woman and I know what I want when I want it apparently not the same for him lol
Yeh she is 28 as well. Ridiculous I get she has issues about trust I never cheated. Just man up and say I’ll never get over it don’t leave me hanging on
I’m 23 myself and had troubles trusting him but I never ended it with him. Now I’m disappointed I didn’t trust him more. However things he’s done afterwards has really shown me maybe I was right in having trust issues lol. But when you end it either walk away or don’t end it right :P. Like since they ended it it should be easier for them to walk away cause they obviously didn’t want it enough but with us its a lot harder cause we didn’t expect it. irritating .
That’s my thing she ended it, but she wouldn’t say goodbye and proper cuddled me. Wrapping her arms around me. Whisky she was asleep.
Do you guys still wanna be with these people. I think you gotta take away the safety net completely. Either you have to move on with your lives, or pretend that you are. And coolcat that means removing him from social apps.
Lol I’m not ready for it just yet. But the social media is also handy into showing him how active I’ve been these days with friends and new activities. Including today’s rock climbing which was good fun and with a friend who he was kind of jealous of when he and i were together but not sure if he knows who i went with also 😉 heheheh.
Honestly I am not ready to let go just yet, I thought I was but annoyingly got sucked in again.
This girl is so unique, no ck tact made her thought I was moving on so she thought I didn’t want her. So she started moving on. Sick of all the games I have told how I feel and how I think it could work. It’s with her now.
I just struggle just being friends in text because I love her.
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