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I did contact her. She wants to give it another shot and take it slow. I know this is only the beginning of the process and I have a lot of work. But its the most hope I’ve had. So yea. Success. Your support has been amazing. I will now focus my attention on your issue and coolcats. You guys have been amazing. Any updates your side?
Mate that is amazing news, see what I meant before about sometimes you just need to think fuck it
Wow dude sorry I haven’t been on here recently, the more time that passes the more I’m giving up so I try and distance myself from the forums a bit to so I am not as obsessive about it all. You know how it is haha. But that is amazing ! So happy for you and very jealous :P. Now just remember to take it slow and not jump right back in or let it go back to the way things were !
Nothing from me really, haven’t talked to the ex in a week now which was when he messaged me about his career. Like I told you he mustn’t have liked my last message to him cause he didn’t bother responding. However I have noticed since he finished work on thursday afternoon he played his playstation game all night and all day friday and some on saturday. Just the one game cause thats all he likes. I have also seen that since I sent the last message on fb he went in it on friday night at midnight and then again this morning very early cause the “seen” time changes. Probably doesn’t mean anything. I am freaked out though. I fell asleep in front of my computer and woke up to put it away and saw he was on fb at 1am. He starts work very early the next morning and I know he used to like to go to bed early for that shift so it worries me why he was online.
Thanks Jburg. You guys have been amazing. Coolcat it is a VERY good sign that he read your message more than once. Its nearly 4am so I’m a bit wrecked and can’t think straight. Will message you guys tomorrow. Stay strong and Coolcat stay optimistic china. Him checking your message again is very good trust me… Gnite
Mine is a bit of a weird one at the moment.
After staying last week and her refusing to say good bye saying she doesn’t believe we won’t see each other again.
She has messaged me pretty much all week, granted most of the time it’s been me initiating it. However she called me, been asking how I am etc. then she goes cold ignores me for a good few hours.
Last night I could sleep and she was away at a hen party. She contacted me during one of the activities they where doing to tell me about it. We chatted back and forth. They was stuck in line to get in a club, so she was messaging me. I know how she hates to wait for things, so I was winding her up. Then I said random question what are you wearing, she said one of your favourite dresses. I guessed pretty much straight away.
Do I said well good work!
I then said I will leave you to your night, to which she said no it’s ok we are waiting to go in anyway.
So more chat back and forth, I said try to be a bit more approachable with people tonight. Inside joke she is really hard to chat up. Then she said it’s mostly hen parties where they are and she wouldn’t get anyone coming up to her anyway.
I am messaging saying sucks to be you, she left it with oh shhhh.
So yeh God knows
That sounds promising man. She seems to be very playful with you. I would sometimes cut these playful conversations short because you have something to do. Just a little push and pull. And keep it going that way and eventually ask her out on a date. But nothing formal. Like a fun activity or something. Don’t even call it a date. Just say u were thinking of going to do (something that you would find fun like rockclimbing or whatever, just not ur typical romantic type date) and does she wanna join you. Then bring about positive enjoyable feelings and be flirtatious and a playful and see what it leads to. Coolcat are you okay?
I thought I wouldn’t message today to see if she messages saying how her night was.
Heard nothing at all it’s 8pm now.
Problem is I leave the Country Tuesday and she is in the UK.
It always seems to be me that gets the messages going.
I don’t know if I just need to leave it for now. Or build in her being tipsy and playful
Seems friendzoned to me
Hey dude, yeah I’m all good :). No word from the ex and I’m not expecting him to. The only activity on my end in the last week is what I told you with him going into our chat conversation once on friday night at midnight then sunday morning at 6am. Odd times tbh hahaha. It feels as though we’re drifting apart at this point in time to truly get over each other even though we think about each other regularly still.
How are things on your end still working slowly ?
It can be difficult with so much time apart that u get to the drifting stage. One thing u could do is say to him that if he feels the relationship isn’t worth rekindling then you should go your seperate ways. Block him on facebook, off all ur instachat thingies. That could shock the slowly drifting apart into a bit much for him. The reason I think that’s the best idea is u do grow used to being apart with less and less contact. But to drop off the radar completely makes it harder for him specially. Gives u the opportunity to go out and meet some guys and start acting single. Word will get to him that you are moving on and if you do mean enough to him he will reach out. Jburg. I know u don’t wanna read that book but I sincerely think it will help. Specially with the friendzone thing. If you still don’t want to I think build on the playful thing. Be flirtatious etc. But a little with other girls too. Being desirable to other woman is a big factor for girls. You leaving the country for good?
What was the book again.
Was going to check this Corey Wayne guys book out.
I feel like I am trying to hard, reality is I should walk away but for some reason I can’t.
Yeh been forced in to relocating. From qatar to Dubai.
Maybe the distance and fact I am not around may have more of a desired effect.
Yeah but even with us not talking for over a week now it seems like he’s thinking about me a bit by going into our messages but not saying anything. I’m still scared to block him at least just yet. But its not like he knows much anyway. He sees me getting out and about with friends meanwhile he sits at home and plays playstation all weekend lol. I’ve been sort of eying some guys off at the gym but I don’t have much confidence to just go up to them lol. But nothings holding me back if a lovely guy were to come into my life. However I don’t think it would get back to my ex. We don’t have any mutual friends espeically now after the split
Its called “The Game by Neil Strauss”. Yea I agree that you may be trying to hard and overthinking things. That’s kinda what that book showed me. Within 2 weeks of reading that book my old ex came back. Although I didn’t want her anymore because I realised she was actually not worth my time. Difference was every day I couldn’t stop thinking about this girl. I would literally watch my phone 24/7 waiting for her to call. Once I read that book I just stopped worrying, stopped trying hard, started living a life true to myself and she came running. I think it is a very good opening into learning about female psychology and how there minds work. By all means read any other book. But this book is filled with resources and other sites that can be very helpful. Another helpful site is real social dynamics. The owner of that company is mentioned in the book. He has developed a lot over the years and has some pretty sound advice on avoiding the friendzone. But I’m serious mate. Give that book a try. If u don’t like it so be it. It has helped many of my friends out through breakups and getting there girls back.
Coolcat: His safety net at the moment is social networking. He is sitting playing playstation and stalking you to see if you have a new boyfriend or are moving on. And u aren’t. This is comforting for him. He is analyzing your messages to see if you still have feelings for you. Why else would someone read the message multiple times. Cut him off. U gotta stand up and kick some ass here. The longer you wait the easier it will be for him when you cut off communication. I suggest doing the following: wait 1 week. No contact, no liking things about him on facebook, nothing. Then, if you haven’t heard from him, write him and email saying the following: “Hi *name*. It has been 3 months since we have broken up. I feel that having these ties to you is preventing me from moving on with my life. I sincerely wish you the best but I need to do what’s best for myself now. Take care.” Then go full no contact for a month. Block everything. Don’t worry this is good. It means if he wants to stalk you he has to call or text. He probably will. 30 days of nothing. Even block his email address so he can’t respond. Read some books on self esteem. The Six Pillars of Self Esteem (can’t remember the author) is a great book. Go and meet some guys. Force yourself. Don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with with them. Just meet people and start having some options. At that point you can contact him after the 30 days. Then you will be ready to instigate conversation not as his ex but as a potential new partner. Things won’t be familiar anymore and the excitement will be back. And who knows, u may find some cute dude that has more ambition than playing Playstation and taking you for granted. I know this will be difficult. But I am worried that u are waiting too long now and the longer u wait, the easier it will be for him. If you are feeling down go and speak to a psychiatrist and go on anti depressents. I don’t like to advise medication to fix problems. But if it is temporary to get you through the 30 days while you are working on yourself then I don’t think its a terrible idea. Talk to your psychiatrist about what you are doing. They are very understanding about these things. Just give it some thought. U know its the right thing to do:)
Hey final shine. Although we’re fb friends we have nothing to do with each other on there. No likes
Comments or anythjng. We use messenger which is how I can see he is going into our conversations agakn as I was the last one to send the message. Do you have a kik account where we can talk more ? Mine it nattycatty92 if you wanna find me
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