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Posts
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amy111,
In time generally bad memories fade and you tend to think more about the good ones with a little nostalgia. But again, it depends on if you hurt your ex intentionally or not, mistreated him/her etc. If the breakup was civil and you didn’t mess up your ex’s life majorly, they will keep fond memories.
In my case, my ex is still clinging on negative memories and I am not sure she will forget those.Catherine, I wouldn’t tell anyone. He will either approach u or ask friends o find out what happened if he really wants to know.
I passed my ex last night while we were driving. She waved, as I knew she would. But It really hit me by how obviously I could see the stress and turmoil in her face as she went by ever so quickly. I really wanted to msg her, I felt so bad for her. but was strong enough not to, thankfully for both of us I’m sure.
A recap on her timeline ….. She spent a week and a half with old friends she hadn’t seen in five years after her daughter left. By all accounts had a great time, doing a lot of events and things out of the normal reconnecting. Then home for a night and now off to a convention for the weekend in a different city with her mom. So she hasn’t really had time to just be at home where I’m sure everything will really start to set in(more so then it has). And stop avoiding the inevitable emotions.
So I was wondering if I should send flowers at the end of next week(7days from now)? As I’m sure her first weekend at home alone, will be hard as hell for her. That way she has them to kinda see and know she isn’t alone. Or if I should wait until the following week and send them? I’m leaning towards the following week, to let her settle some. But seeing her has really clouded that decision. What are your guys thoughts on a decent time?
Soupy, I do agree with you. It would be best like you said to wait a week or even 2. Just let her have reality set in and then send her the flowers.
I think good memories last a lot longer. I have bad memories of all of my exes, but to be honest I’m not mad or upset about any of them. I only really think about the good ones now, and I think in general that’s what happens. Time is an amazing thing!
I think wait til the following week Soupy. She might be too emotional to see the gesture in a good way if you send them too soon. The week after next should be a good time! She will really appreciate it I’m sure. It’s nice just to know someone is thinking of you.
That’s very true-no it wasn’t a bad break up-it was extremely sad-we both cried (myself a lot), and at the end I hugged him and said I hope you find whatever you are looking for…and then he cried, said that “I knew this would be hard but I didn’t think it would be this hard”, got in his car, and left 🙁 it was a very cutting and emotional break up :'( but no, not “bad”. but I’m glad that bad memories fade and good ones last, because 95% of our 4 years was the best 4 years of my life ?
I agree soupy-wait until the following week to do it to give her time to settle 🙂 I’m sure she will appreciate it a lot, and at least she will know you care 🙂 well done and stay strong! 🙂
It’s almost been 3 months since my break up and I hardly remember the bad memories. If you asked me exactly what he said when he broke up with me, I garunteed you I don’t remember half of what he said. I’m sure he remembers the reason he ended things but not all of the bad memories. We really didn’t have much bad memories, we were always happy together. Its just sad that you never know what someone is thinking.
Amy,
I think the memories things really depends not just on the break up but on how the relationship was generally… With my last ex when we first broke up I really really wanted to be with him but we went no contact for about 30 days… At the end of that I was friendly with him again but was amazed that she still wanted to get back together because I realized that our relationship was horrible. On the flipside, I definitely know that giving my current ex time has really improved the way he relates to me.Soupy,
Just thinking about that situation makes my heart race for you! I get shakey sometimes after those random run ins… Glad she waved, that’s kind of cute! You’ve got a good plan, stick to it.Lin,
I have ONE friend I talk to about the breakup bc I’m worried my friends will hate him for hurting me so I just say “we talk a little” casually. Lies, ha. I’m working on the plan, he would be totally weirded out by any favors so I’m just being overly flirty. This is probably TMI but we had great sexual chemistry so I figure having him think of me in that way is bueno–trust me, I’m being cautious and we aren’t sleeping together. It has lead to more convos about other things so we’ll see. It’s tough talking to him at all though because I’m sure he’s still talking to other girls on tinder or whatever and it makes me feel a little silly.
Fishing,
I read about the earthquake. I am sorry to hear that and flag your family is ok. Don’t be so quick to judge your ex though… Who knows if she’s just totally behind on the news or what, it could be anything
Thanks Palmtrees22,
It’s alright, it’s not a big deal about her anyway.
Tomorrow I am going to see a football game at the stadium with my friends, and it will be a good chance to decompress, it’s been a very stressful week for me.
I am back on my full schedule with work, gym, my sessions, and volunteering at the shelter when I can. And I still manage to think about my ex.I honestly don’t have many good memories left of my previous ex, because the way she treated me. But since I’ve started my therapy, I am letting the blame go slowly, focusing only on my recover and positive progresses.
Sometimes I am so afraid of forgetting my current ex’s voice, I haven’t heard her voice in longer than a month. And her beautiful laugh…
Fishingthesky I too am really sorry to hear about the quake. I hope your family are safe. I agree with palm trees though, your ex might have been thinking of you but just didn’t reach out.
That’s very true guys 🙂 we did have s great relationship, one argument in 4 years, he was my best friend, I was his…I guess his immaturity, our lack of sometimes communication And his fear of commitment got the better of us.
It’s his birthday today- I went on his fb for the first time in ages and saw a girl on his trip had put “happy birthday love you long time xxx” made me angry seeing it haha! I will send the message later, and let you know if he even reads it ?
Hey Amy, I hate how the littlest things like that can effect a person. My ex posted a picture (not of her) and tagged her mom in it(how I seen it). And some guy commented on it that I never heard of. Made my heart flutter for a secound. Lol and off course curiosity takes over to find out who he is and kinda gets the mind wondering. I can say it does get a bit easier as time goes on, but we’re human and still care. No matter how hard u try its normal to still have moments for sure.
Thank you to everyone for the advice and support. as usual, u folks are right. Holding off for a bit to show support to my ex is best. By all accounts my ex is shutting out people right now, seems kinda lost and just in a haze (for lack of better term). Which is her defence mechanism/how she acts when dealing with major stuff for awhile (same pattern as our break ups). Even though this makes me want to reach out even more ….. It is best to let her deal with stuff somewhat before hand. Or it just goes for not. I appreciate all of you for being so helpful.
Hi everyone, today a friend asked me what happened between my ex and I. Another person jumped into the conversation and said he is pretty sure my ex is dating this girl from another school. His profile picture is still of the girl at my school and I know her. But this other girl I have never heard of so it’s kind of confused me.
I actually went to the bathroom and cried I got so overwhelmed.
Oh Catherine I’m sorry 🙁 I understand how hard that is. You never know, he might just be “playing the field” a bit and taking advantage of this singledom that he now has. Keep your chin held high, don’t let him see you upset and be as amazing as usual! But don’t worry-2 girls that quickly is very “look what I can do” type thing, and probably don’t mean much ?
I sent my ex the whatsapp message “happy birthday, hope you have a fabby day ??” he looked at it about 5 minutes after I sent it, however didn’t get a reply…which I was expecting anyway, so I’m not upset really. More I was just hoping :p but oh well.
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