17 days NC

To be honest Amy, I wouldn’t. U said what u wanted to and got a nice response, which is great!. But there isn’t a need to, nor did he leave u much to respond to. So I think leave it at that and it kinda leaves him with the wondering now. Instead of u wondering if he will respond….even to a simple thank you. U know your in his thoughts now and that’s all u can ask for.

Your welcome, I just found I felt better when I ended the conversations. Even a simple “thanks” or “u too” back to them, always made me feel like I expected a response. Which kinda bogged me down at times. Always good to have a plan!

Catherine, I’m sorry to hear that happened to u. People seem to be creating a lot of drama for u, for no reason at all. But I agree with Amy in a sense. It kinda sounds like he is just bouncing around looking for attention …. Not necessarily being with any of them. I do this after a break up myself. I have come to realize it’s part of my coping mechanism. I seek out flirty situations with girls to fill the void of my ex being gone and help my confidence. But have bery rarely taken it to the next level.

Soupy,

I personally wouldn’t but that’s just me. To me social media is still violating no contact. I know when I’ve gone through a break up and my ex would like my stuff I’d feel annoyed or it would be apparent to me he’s still watching my life but I’m not fully up to speed on your situation either. (My ex today watched my snap chat and I blocked him because I found myself wanting to post more knowing he was watching.) Social media is rough, it’s hard to focus and grow and work on yourself when you still see them almost daily. Maybe deactivate or uninstall? She may be going through a rough time but I think it’d be wise for you to step back.

Soupy,

I wouldn’t like anything. I think social media contact is the least personal form of contact there is. When you reach out with your note and flowers you will show her how much you care in a more meaningful way. You’ve got a good plan so stick to it!

That’s very true soupy 🙂 i guess any response is positive At the moment. I didn’t reply, I deleted the message straight after. I think you shouldn’t do anything with social media either-keep dead pan quiet on that front I think 🙂

Fishingthesky I totally agree-I’m getting ready to move next week today (was moving so I could be closer to my ex ?) and trying to keep as busy as possible. I had a relapse last night however and looked on his Facebook as I was curious of his birthday messages-a lot of them were mainly from his travelling friends saying “have an amazing day-you deserve it!” And I was initially in my tired thoughts like “ooooh maybe he’s saying that because he’s sad about me and they want him to have an amazing day!! (Sad I know :p) but then I also saw some pics people had posted up-every picture (about 6) was him with different girls, and huge, massive grins on his face in each one.

It hit home that he was really, really happy and having an amazing time. Maybe that’s why it was no problem for him to reply-because he simply doesn’t care anymore?

I don’t know if these are crazy overtired overthinking thoughts going through my head, but that’s what it looked like 🙁

So fishingthesky, I suggest trying something I do before I go to bed or try and go to sleep! Think about decorating, or your in a sweet shop, or anything that gives you multiple “choices”. How are you going to decorate your house if you had the money? Imagine what you would do if it was unlimited. That’s what I do and it helps every time ?

Amy,

I am in the same spot myself. Just kind of feeling like it’s time to give up. He’s made it very clear that he hasn’t been going on dates, but at the same time he is not dating me… I know we had the two week plan but I am thinking it is just time to pull back now. I am kind of in a weird/sad acceptance stage of things. Maybe it’s just a lack of patience, but I am just feeling hopeless because he hasn’t asked to see me.

amy111,
thanks for the suggestion, I will try it out, with a little different detail: it must be an electronic store with bazillion phones and computers to choose 😀
I agree with catherine8, I am sure he doesn’t know what he wants at the moment and is not worried about it, so he might experiment in general just to feel the thrill of change.
What it’s important to realize is that our exes probably do care but they have other priorities right now and thinking of us is not one. They are focused on themselves, adjusting to the new situation, so amy111 don’t feel sad if he’s just trying to enjoy his vacation, you would do the same at his place.
This is what we should do too, we need to make ourselves a priority.

Palmtrees22, I am feeling rather hopeless too and it’s scaring me because I don’t like to give up on things. I don’t like this creepy feeling of acceptance either.

So I went off the plan and I had a come to Jesus moment with my ex this morning. I told him that I still have feelings for him and that I hoped our friendship could help us communicate more openly and improve things between us. He told me he doesn’t want to try things out not bc he’s not attracted to me but bc he doesn’t want to go though this again and does not believe we are fixable right now. I left it by saying that I understand and I could sense his reluctance to trust me and I had hoped open communication would change that but perhaps he needs more space. He did not respond, which is a response in and of itself I suppose. So I said it before but now I actually have no choice but to return to no contact. I of course have some feeling of “if I had just let it play out, maybe this would have worked out” but I probably would have screwed it up with my hopeful expectations. The worst part? I’m still hanging onto hope that by giving him space he might come around. I probably should have consulted ya’ll before acting… What do you think of my decision?