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He had also been planning on going travelling, and is now traveling for 8 weeks 🙁 we had just finished university together 🙁
Well see, he doesn’t wanna commit now, he doesn’t wanna feel trapped in a relationship.
You two are pretty young and you’ve already been together for quite a while, it’s almost physiological to get tired or bored with the same situation. So he needs his time away from you, doing whatever he feels like it and I think you should do the same. It’s too convenient though for him to set a specific time for your reconnection, he’s in control.
Do you wanna sit and wait for him with the uncertainty that he might not want to be together with you in the end? Just think about it.Fishingthesky very true-in a way I do welcomed the break as it was needed for both of us-but at the same time I wish o knew we would get back together. He said to me”it’s better for us in the long run” and “I’m not seeing this as a permanent break, but I don’t know how long it will take, so don’t wait for me”
So I’ve actually been asked out on a date which I’m going to go on 🙂
But I guess in terms on getting back with him, am I taking all the right steps? As a bloke, what would it have taken to want your exes back in your twenties?
And Catherine8/palmtrees/lin91/kiya92/soupy any other news? None from my end-almost 7 weeks NC!
My ex is Also very stubborn-even If he missed me he wouldn’t say ? he is back from travelling in a month and I am already nervous 🙁
Sorry about the influx of posts…
I’ve just seen on his friends snapchat (who is supposed to be my friend too) my ex, with a girl who is kissing his cheek, and then a load of love hearts underneath :'(
He’s blocked now too-I feel like this is a hopeless thing I am trying to achieve and feel so shit 🙁
Amy,
He doesn’t really sound like a great guy to be honest. It may just be because he’s young, but a more compassionate person wouldn’t want to shove it in your face knowing that you’re hurting. I know it hurts to see that sort of thing, but at some point you’ll look at those actions and think, “thank God I didn’t stay with that guy”. Tell me about your date, someone you are really interested in? Try to focus on what’s coming up ahead. Remember, if this guy can make you feel good- a new guy (without the messy history) could make you feel even better!
Amy
The guy sounds pretty disrespectful and immature to me, although as Palmtreess22 has said its maybe better that your seeing his true colours coming out now than in the future.
Great news that you’ve been asked out on a date; that’s got to fill you with lots of positive energy. Go and enjoy yourself and have some fun.
Palmtrees/drygioni,
That’s very true 🙁 I genuinely didn’t think he would do that. Usually he is lovely-and my friends thought he was too. And I do genuinely think he is a nice person…but I think this whole “travelling freedom” has got to his friend and him-he would never post anything like that in our last break up. And his friends certainly usually wouldn’t. His friend has broken up with his gf too, about a month before he did with me…I don’t know. All seems a bit wierd. But I showed my mum-she thought he was being very immature, and taking advantage of the situation he is in…but still very heartless of him and his friend to put up those images.
It was a coffee with someone I knew from college! To be fair I really fancied him in college, and when I met up with him it wasn’t EXACTLY the same as I still love my ex dearly (annoyingly) but it has shown me that there are people who think I am attractive still, and who aren’t too immature to pay me a compliment! So it was a bit of an eye opener and just a generally nice time out 🙂
I think tbh ice learnt from all this that my ex is more immature than I thought-not being able to pay me a compliment and tell me I look nice, not being able to speak about any problems that there might have been…big eye opener really :/
Yeah, as weird as it is, I think “forgetting” that you’re attractive is pretty common and I definitely think first dates are as healthy as I think rebound “relationships” are unhealthy— it’s a delicate balance. Once you see someone’s true colors aren’t really what you thought it does get a little easier though. Or at least I hope that’s your experience.
I don’t really have any updates except that instead of no contact we are back to casual contact; probably dangerous but it’s pretty much all I’m ready for right now
How is everyone else?!
I don’t have any updates either really, I think I’m just going to make my ex see me around the halls at school, so he will always get a look at me.
That guy is obviously immature, that’s what I thought from the beginning. Can’t say if he’s a bad person but he definitely doesn’t care about this relationship as much as you do amy111.
It’s good you went out with another guy, it does boost up your ego again. I understand it’s too soon to get involved again romantically. It’s for me as well, I’ve been asked out, I know there are a few girls who want to date me but I prefer to concentrate on myself and heal from the breakup. I still would like to get together with my ex sometime, my hopes are not lost yet.Exactly-well that post did make me realise he has been immature for a very long time-he didn’t compliment me or say that he missed me or anything because it was ” laaaaaaame” , he didn’t like to “like” posts on social media because he thought it would make him look wierd, he couldn’t say I love you because he “didn’t know what love was” ( after 4 years?!) and although I was the “perfect” girl for him it scared him 🙁 amazing what something bad can trigger!
Yes that’s true! Thanks guys-I’m finding this break up way harder than last time 🙁
Has anyone else been on any dates?! 🙂 think we should all try to! 🙂
Amy, it’s funny you say that about your ex’s friend breaking up with his girlfriend too. I bet that’s got a lot to do with your ex wanting to be single. Also, there will be this kind of macho competition between them right now, trying to out do each other. Out-single each other if you will! So adding to the post break up competition, you have this one as well. that’s just going to make them behave even worse in my opinion. So I wouldn’t take anything you see too seriously. Well done for blocking!
He is definitely super immature and I think this time instead of just wishing for him to come back, you should really weigh up whether you want to be with a guy like this. I really think you are worth so much more and you will easily find someone who appreciates you. Did you say he never said he loved you?! That’s insane!
Of course, none of this has any impact on how much you love him right? It’s so annoying isn’t it, your friends and family can all say how much better off you are, but in your heart you know that all you want is him back.
Catherine, that’s probably all you can do right now. He can’t avoid you forever!
That’s the thing, I don’t actually want him back yet…I kind of want him to realise whAt he did wrong , how he can improve and want to get back with me to show he can be better if that makes sense ? but oh well 🙁
It is! My friends and family say he needs time to get it out if his system….but I’m scared he’ll go to someone else 🙁
How are things with you Lin?
Yeah I understand. It sounds harsh but there is literally nothing you can do about it at the minute. If he meets someone, so be it. You have no control over that.
All you can do is look absolutely AH-MAZING the next time you see him (which you defs will!) and have loads going on in your life. I guarantee when you look super hot, are really confident and you show him you don’t need him, he will look at whoever he’s with and think “what am I doing?!”
That’s all you can control and you should focus on that for sure. Don’t worry yourself about what he’s getting up to. No matter how much you obsess over it you can’t change his actions, so why make yourself feel worse? I’m saying this a lot for my own benefit as well haha. I’m still finding myself worrying about whether my ex has found someone else. When I really think about it though, it’s unlikely, because of all the reasons we’ve covered. The mind plays some cruel tricks sometimes.
Thing are okay with me overall. It’s about 2.5 months since the break up and about 1 month since our last contact. He’s not super active on social media and I’ve unfollowed him on most things anyway so I’m not sure what he’s up to. I’m going to reach out to him at some point, just not yet.
I’ve gone on a few dates since the break up, with mixed results haha. Every time though I’ve had a good time, regardless of whether I fancy them or not. I find it a really good distraction to get your ex out of your mind for a few hours. Kinda like a pallet cleanser!
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