-
Posts
-
I just went to his page and he has blocked me again. I was never going to see anything anyways as he has always had a private account but it still hurts.
Wait what? He send you a follow request then cancelled it and blocked you?
You were on his mind then!
Yeah, but he still had his profile picture as him and another girl. She is actually in one of my classes but I never knew anything about it. Her and I have nothing similar together, she is into a lot of different things but idk I’m just going to to try not to read too much into it. Last year when I started dating him his profile picture was of him and another friend that’s a girl.
I even looked her up on Instagram and she has zero pictures of the both of them. I was thinking that since it was his birthday, wouldn’t she post at picture of them two if they were dating?
Sounds weird but I don’t want to read much into it.
You have to remember a few things.
1) He was clearly checking up on you when he tried to follow you. Whatever his intentions were, he was curious and wanted to see what you’d been up to. It was probably a moment of weakness and he didn’t want to be seen doing it so he removed the request. You were on his mind and this is a positive thing if it’s what you want!
2) News travels fast, especially in schools, so I doubt he and this girl are any more than friends. I put profile pictures of me with my male friends all the time. They are half of our species after all!
3) Even if they are dating, he’s probably not as into it than he thinks and the profile pic change is all an act. You can’t move on that quickly.
4) Just keep doing what you’re doing and don’t let this send you backwards. You’re great with or without him in your life!
How has school been since you went back?
It’s actually pretty good, I have a lot of classes with new people and old friends so it’s good to reconnect with them all. I only have lunch with my ex too but of course he sits on the other side of the lunch room with his back facing me. But other than that it’s good. It’s really weird seeing him and not talking to him, but it is how it is.
I really think it’s best to err on the side of less contact when things are contentious as it sounds like both Amy and Catherine’s situations may be. Posting social media pictures with other girls is an immature move and it may feel like the guy is happy but he’s more likely trying to get a rise out of you, don’t let it.
When someone tells you they don’t want to hear from you, respect that. Reaching out because it’s someone’s birthday when that person has explicitly asked you not to reach out is different than reaching out when things are still friendly between you. If you ever reconcile with your ex and they ask why you didn’t reach out for some event, you can say, “because you asked me not to and I wanted to respect your wishes.” Sometimes- actually a lot of times- all people need is SPACE. I know it’s so, so hard to give them that because you are imagining every worse case scenario (trust me, I do it too)but you’ve got to be a little stronger than that and have some faith that if they care about you as much as you deserve they’ll come to you. And won’t that make you happier, having the other person approach you instead of you approaching them?
I agree with the “giving people space” part Palmtrees22 mentioned. Yes you have to be very strong in this circumstance.
Regarding “the reaching out part”, I want you to take in consideration though, that we all don’t think and act alike, many people have different reactions to the situations. It depends a lot on your ex’s personality and if you have been with this person long enough, you should know by now the way your ex is. So if your ex has never been the one to take the initiative to work things out after a fight, don’t expect them to change this trait suddenly in short time, or ever. For example, my ex is a very proud and stubborn person, she has RARELY come back to me and talked after fights, I’ve always had to be the first even when she was on the wrong side.It doesn’t matter how much she/he loves you or cares about you really, she/he won’t probably be the first one to approach you. I personally don’t believe in waiting forever for your ex to contact you first by relying just on faith and on the law of “deserving someone who loves you”. You need to stay away from your ex (no contact), organizing a plan in your mind about the options you can take; set a limit on how long you can wait for a response and for how much long you want to invest your life, energies in this relationship. Then you contact your ex and tells him/her decision. Don’t let them decide, it’s up to you.
I get what you’re saying. And I’m not opposed to the idea of being the first to reach out, butt despite my ex’s extreme stubbornness, he has been the first to reach out in the past. This could possibly be because he’s SO stubborn the only way reconciliation appeals to him is if it’s his idea, not mine.
what all of you guys said is so true. I agree with Palmtrees though, my ex is very stubborn so if he wants to get back with me he will tell me that. If I ever text him I just get the same reaction from him every time. I wish it wasn’t like that with my ex but if it has to be then it has to be.
Today I have caught him looking at me a lot, we had a class meeting and my friend even pointed it out to me. I’m trying to make it so he sees me more around the halls, even though it hurts not to be able to talk to him. I just hope he sees me a little differently since I told him happy birthday.
Of course it is possible that an extremely stubborn ex makes the first move anyway, it’s just not uncommon that they don’t do it at all.
I wanted to give you a tip from male perspective, to the girls here that are dating/have been dating a guy in his early 20’s. You must remember that we are still very immature at that age compared to you, especially emotionally. Now that I am in my 30’s I handle relationships and problems differently than when I was younger. It’s just normal.
I am not justifying certain behaviors, I am just suggesting that with only tith time and experience we are more aware of our emotions, learn to understand and respect better girls’ emotions/reactions too. If a 20 something guy wants to have you or have you back, he will do anything he can to get you or wait for you, but if girls don’t show interest in a short amount of time he simply moves on and looks for someone else.Early in my 20’s I decided to move to another country for love and instead I would probably think it twice before doing this again now. I am still romantic at heart as I was when I was younger, and I do make so many mistakes, but I am definitely more responsible and conscious of my own limits.
fishingthesky-my problem is the guy in early twenties (23 next week).but I had the whole ” don’t know what love is” and ” we’re too young to be in a relationship”-what would you advise on this? I haven’t spoken to him since we broke up, and I blocked him on snapchat too (as stories were too upsetting!)
Catherine8 it’s interesting that he’s taking an interest-the birthday post must have taken him by suprise!
Hey amy111,
How long have you been together? Sorry I haven’t read about your story.
Well your guy probably doesn’t want to commit right now, whether he’s honest or not.
You gotta give him some time to think about it because you can’t force him into responsabilities he’s not ready to take yet. It’s good thought he has the decency not to lead you on I guess. The questions are what do you want for yourself? Do you want to be committed in a relationship? Do you really wanna wait for him to decide? You need to take care of yourself in the meantime.Oooh okay, long story short together for 3 years, then he broke up with me last April saying the same reasons, we did NC for 3 months then I reached out, we met up and he wanted me back.
We stayed together and were very happy (except for one argument but that was sorted out and he admitted that I was “perfect” for him but the thought of 4 years at this age together played on his mind all the time) until about a month ago where he said that he wasn’t treating me well enough, wasn’t mature enough for a commited relationship, wouldn’t have time for me and didn’t know what “love” was, and that he needed to grow on his own 🙁 he then said to wait longer than 3 months to contact…by
I haven’t heard anything from him since-this forum has helped me so much though (especially in this convo!) and it’s good to hear others opinions
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.