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Amy,
It sounds a little like this time will be good for BOTH of you. You strike me as an intelligent person and I think in your heart you know that real self confidence comes from within and any help someone else could give you would only be temporary. As much as this process has torn you down, it sounds like you’re on your way up 🙂 sometimes it takes a little independence to remember how great you are. I know that’s something I’ve struggled with in relationships. Truthfully, I have an easier time when I’m not worried about the opinion of a partner. Regardless of his true reasoning, he felt like things weren’t working so you’ll both need to change for that to change. You’ve got some great ideas for positive life changes; stick to those and he will come around
Palmteees22 I guess so-do you think there’s any hope for us getting back together after this then? (Honestly :p)
I guess I’m
Worried that this will be a forever thing, and that he will worry about getting back together with me for a second time incase he still thinks he needs to work
On himself 🙁 I’m so scared of him meeting someone who is confident and who he wants to be with more than me in the next 5 months though-it’s the thing that terrifies me the most! 🙁 however I do realise I need to prove to myself (and in the process to him) that I can do things on my own and be confident. The fact that I am moving to North London by myself, doing a marathon and have just booked tickets to Iceland for a group tour in October half term (to go with people I’ve never met before!) I think will help me, and also might help him see I’m
Changing my attitude about myself? I hope it works for both me and him :'(Amy,
As much as its easy to worry about things like that you cant..ill say work on being that confident person yourself so that if you meet up again you can be that confident person he is looking..im worrired that his sister will tell him about you crying though:(..are you feeling any better?..i think you a have a good chance but i also dont want you to miss out on any opportunity with anyone else just because you have this idea of him coming back
Soupy,
Yea im starting to feel it but he called this morning and said he was sorry and that the truth was he honestly forgot and didnt know how to tell me..he asked if we can try again next week…but i dont want to get my hopes up and he cancels,..im also worries that im when i see him again im going to break down in tears..not saying i will but I haven’t seen him since the break up and its like idk how its going to be
Kiya92 that’s true 🙁 I don’t think she will tell him she even saw me-he apparently told her not to tell him if she’s seen me or spoken to me.
I’m feeling really confused by it all 🙁 I’m not going to wait for him, but I do still want to get back with him at some point.
I guess after what she said I just don’t have a clear idea whether he will ever want to get back with me 🙁 but I’m going to be confident for me, not for him. I just don’t know how to show that without seeing him! ?
Yea we picked tuesday since we both have off work so lets see how this goes i was thinking about a picnic in the city?..or is that too couplely?…
and none the less although you cried im very proud that you even went now you know where you are ! And honestly i think he will..i also think his sis knows something you dont because although you are friends if he didnt want her around you i think he would tell herThats a good idea. i think a picnic might be a little too coupley for a first time – you don’t want to seem as if you are trying to be a couple again if that makes sense. Keep it casual like a coffee in a coffee shop? 🙂
Yeah I feel better for going to be honest – sad, but okay. I think he’s just so stubborn though, that even if he is sad, and did miss me terribly, his ego would get in the way and the wouldn’t want to talk to me or get back with me! Think thats my main panic. But in a way (however horrid this might sound) Im glad it wasn’t anything I had done, that he felt really sad about it too and that he doesn’t want to talk to anyone about me (as at least it shows I mean something….i think?!?!?!)
boys confuse me
I was thinking that at first but he hates coffee and teas ..but he loves my sandwiches lol thats why i was thinking picnic any other suggestions?
I agree Boys are so confusing and they talk about us!! It makes no sense.. im glad you met up with her first because I wouldn’t want you breaking down in front of him
Kiya, A picnic is a cute idea, but maybe save it for a second meet up if you have one? I think you’re probably better off going to a cafe or something first. He can always get a smoothie or something… haha. Good luck with it though!
That sounds difficult Amy. I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better though. In a weird way do you think you would have felt better if you knew it was something you did? If that’s the case then it gives you something to work on. Otherwise you’re waiting for him to figure out something on his own. I don’t know which is better to be honest..
My ex sent me another weird message last night. He seems to like responding to me when he’s been out drinking on friday nights…. I suppose it’s better than nothing. It was quite garbled and didn’t make a whole lot of sense. Something about giving me closure and something about him seeking pleasure from destruction. I think he’s going through a lot… do you think I should reply or ignore it this time?
Lin Are you still in nc?..if yes then no i have been told a drunk man soeaks his heart so maybe if thats how hes feeling and if your concerned then i dont see why not..but i wouldnt do it while hes been drinking and yea your right..well cafe it is! Hes probably going to be like why did you bring me here..do you think i should just ask him?
Also im soo worried to how im going to be if i get to see him
No I’m not. I did 30 days NC and I reached out just over a week ago with a message that said everything you’re supposed to say: sorry about how I acted, agree with the break up, we need space, hope you’re well. etc. He replied very oddly a few days later to which I responded calmly… and now I get this.
I just feel like I can’t add much value to what he says in the messages to be honest, so it’s not really worth replying. I might just say I hope he’s okay and I’m here if he wants to talk? He’s very up and down so often he doesn’t really say what he means. I DUNNO. MEN?!
I guess you could ask where he wants to meet, yeah haha. That would stop you having to worry about it!
That’s a good idea actually! Put the ball in his court and ask him where he would like to meet. But I agree a picnic is a bit too romantic on the first meeting, espcially if he’s an arsehole to you whilst your there. I would say a coffee is neutral, and you don’t want him to think the reason your meeting is to get back together.
Lin although it is hard I don’t think you should reply, mainly because this is when he is drunk. If he messages you when sober by all means do, but I have been in the situation where someone has texted me drunk, I’ve replied saying are you okay blah blah and they’ve been like “yeah sorry was just really pissed ignore what I said”-and you don’t want that. It shows he misses you though-keep that and don’t give in to drunken thoughts which he hadn’t thought through or else it could make you feel worse in the long run.
I feel pretty horrible now about it all really 🙁 it feels like it’s cut open my old wounds. Today I know he is packing for his travels tomorrow, and I keep wondering is he thinking of me? Or is he really trying to forget about me completely? I don’t know, but knowing I have no control over when he will feel ready to talk to me or anything, and knowing he doesn’t want to know or hear about anything I do is so heartbreaking 🙁
Sounds bad, but it’s kind of why I didn’t block him on social media. I know last time he checked me out on Facebook a lot, and he looked at a snapchat story I put up yesterday. Guess time will tell with us :'( I just hate the thought of never being wth him again ;'(
Yeah, after a couple of hours and a run I’ve decided not to reply! I did last time and he didn’t respond to my thorough message so it’s not worth it. This way he can take a look back and feel shitty about what he said.
I think if I don’t reply he will have to reconsider bext time before attaching me for no reason.
I deserve a sober conversation!
I keep yoyo-ing between a kind, Understanding response where I reach out, and a hella bitchy one…so best left alone.
Ah he’s definitely thinking about you Amy. Travelling is the best ever way of putting someone out of your mind so he has loads of distractions. They won’t last forever though!
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