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Well donee!! It’s so hard to leave it but at the same time it will make you so much stronger in the long run and make him appreciate your help and company more 🙂
Yeah that’s true-well after he is travelling he starts his intense 4 week training at his new job-so I think It will be a while before the missing hits in 🙁 but he finishes that 4 week intense stuff mid way through October, so I’m hoping by end of November f I text him he should miss me by then? It just sucks that he hasn’t really got any time to miss me you know – that’s what I’m most worried about :'(
I don’t mean to change the subject, but I could use your opinions. Especially that of women in this situation.
My ex daughters birthday is today and she turns 14. we had a really good relationship, so I was wondering if it would be appropriate to wish her a happy birthday? Now I don’t have direct way of doing this. It’s either just text my ex “happy birthday to …..” Or post a happy birthday on her aunts birthday picture she posted. Or would it be best just not to do anything?
Yea i agree with amy i think you should at least say happy birthday. It definitely shows that your a bigger person and that you still care for the daughter i know its not about this but her mom might even text you saying thank you
Also girls…and soupy im very proud of all of you thus far i know its been so tough (trust me i know)..but since we started writing each other i can definitely see great improvement than day 1..:-) stay strong ladies..and soupy lol
Well my options are to…..
1. Say something on the aunts Instagram post about her birthday.
2. Msg my ex direct
3. Write on an older post/picture my ex put up of her daughter.
What do u ladies think?
I’d write on the picture that the aunt posted. Because it shows you care but it’s also uninvasive. Sometimes girls can feel like heir exes are encroaching on their lives and contacting them feels like an invasion of privacy. The aunt’s photo is like no mans land if you like!
I was thinking that myself. Her aunt just posted a picture of the daughter and tagged her with a happy birthday. So I was just going to tag her and say happy birthday too. Not that it matters, but I doubt my ex will even see it. She doesn’t go on Instagram much and her sister didn’t tag her. Unless her daughter tells her
Yes, definitely on the picture 🙂
And well done everyone, I agree we’re all doing well! I went out today with some friends and been putting lots of photos up as I am NOT going to let him know I’m moping at home!!
Amy,
I totally get your fears of letting go. Ironically, letting go will be the most likely way to bring him back. I really struggle with this myself, for some reason this seems actually final, and that may be because for the time being I am letting it be final. But I just keep telling myself that there’s more out there for me; whether that be my ex treating me better or a new person. Acceptance is the best thing for you at this point. You don’t know what the future holds so don’t assume the worst or the best, just make note- things are one way today and they may be different tomorrow. I totally get your struggle, I am close to three weeks no contact and I want to go talk it out so badly but I just know as long as I feel like that, it won’t be a productive conversation.
Palmtrees22 that’s very true. I think speaking to his sister yesterday (although upsetting) put it in a little more perspective for me-he is treating it (and at this point probably assumes) that it is final-so I think I need to start believing it too. I think if he weren’t going away I would actually find it easier as I would know he would be missing me too. I too am at 3 weeks NC and yeh it does suck 🙁 I was glad his sister said to me well done for not contacting him though that’s really good of you (maybe she or he assumed I would beg or contact) guess will see. This forum is helping SO much though. I can’t talk to my family or friends about it because they hate what he did and that he broke my heart :/
Guys…he finally changed his relationship status to single. I know I should have changed it before but I just kept holding on :'( It feels so final now, and so so shit :'(
Amy,
Nothing is final. It may take more patience than you thought but it’s not final. You knew it was a matter of time until he put his profile as single, it doesn’t change your chances of working things out unless you freak out about it to him (not that I think you will). You’re going to be fine, the plan hasn’t changed, just a keep moving forward and know we’ve got your back 🙂
Thank you everyone for the advice. I decided to follow it and do as u recommended. It makes me feel good to at least wish her a happy birthday, as she was an important person in my life and still care.
Amy – social media sucks in break ups, I know first hand. It’s hard not to let the roller coaster of emotions run wild over things u see or ideas u create from it. I still have my moments with it. But I can guarantee all these little things that your going through are ultimately leading u to a better place in time. Hang in there, it will get better.
Lin – I wouldn’t respond to that, it didn’t sound like it made much sense and he obviously was drinking. He probably would just blow it off instead of addressing it(ego, fear of looking foolish, scared to). The upside, is he is thinking about u in some capacity for him to drunken msg u anything. And u are fairly early in your re contact, so your re-imitating msg, has him probably resonating about everything still. And u are like me that, u just want to be there for them if something is wrong. In this situation he may not react very well if u insinuate there is or if there is something going on with him. Even if your just trying to be nice and let him know your here for him. Just my thoughts.
Kiya – I don’t like the fact he said he forgot about meeting u, that doesn’t seem like something u should forget. So I would proceed with some caution in the sense of just meeting him somewhere simple. Like a coffee shop or a patio, that is neutral and relaxed for both. Your first meeting is to let him see how well your doing, be strong, and get him thinking on his own some. And gauge him and how he speaks and acts around u now. It’s just a small step in the process. Good luck
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