xicana17

Thank you @tanda I think I am going to do that! Not anytime soon but maybe in the next week or so.

@tanda
He stopped texting me last week and texted me on Christmas Eve. He’s going to his friend’s wedding this weekend and he was telling me about it. He asked me if I wanted him to bring me something but I said no. I’ve already initiated twice to hangout but he doesn’t seem like he’s eager to hangout. So I’m just going to leave it at that.
I was sort of miserable on Christmas Eve (before he texted me). I was sad all day and usually I’m not because I love the holidays but this time it sucked. I was thinking about him.
But anyways, it’s not much of an update. We’ve just been texting some silly things and talk about our days at work or overall.

He asked me if he could call me when he was off from work. He asked me how I was doing (regarding the death of our family friend) so we did talk about it on the phone. I just mentioned it briefly thru a text. I wanted to start the conversation with something to “break the ice” I guess. That’s why I started it off with the “memory lane” text intro ( i guess you can call that ).

Yes, when I told him about hanging out I should’ve stopped with that but I decided to try to keep the conversation going. It obviously didn’t work because he never replied back. I agreed to being friends when we broke up. I realized I wanted him in my life some way or another than not having in my life at all. He left it up to me to hangout because of what I’m going thru regarding our family friend. He wanted to be supportive so he let me know that if I needed a distraction that we could hangout. We kept texting the whole day yesterday and he kept asking questions, not sure out of courtesy or he really was interested but it was nice to be talking to him. He responses didn’t seem cold or anything but I just have an odd feeling. I feel like maybe I’m trying too hard for us to be texting like before (obviously not the lovey dovey texts but more of the humor texts). I know I need to take a step back and just let it go its own way naturally.

It seems that way to me too, that he’s not anxious, but I know hanging out is probably not at the top of his priority list and maybe he is not even ready yet but I am just going to give it some time. He hasn’t texted back at all today. And I know I shouldn’t text him back and just end the conversation but I feel so bad for doing that.

@patricia12

I decided to text him today, i texted something that reminded me about him and asked how he was doing. I also told him that a family friend passed away and he decided to call me because I told him it was something I would’ve wanted to tell him through a call. It was brief, however given the circumstances that was all we talked about. And it was less than 10 minutes. He told me he was there for me, that he cares about me and if I ever needed to talk or needed to hangout to let him know. I wish I could’ve kept the conversation going but it would’ve felt odd to change the conversation from death to something else. So we left it at that.

I know that but it wasn’t just that. I suggested therapy because he also has low self-esteem. I didn’t want to go into detail but I feel like it would be more understandable as to why I suggested for him to get therapy. The day after he broke up with me and we spoke in person he told me that when he was on the trip with his friends he wished something would happen to him so he wouldn’t come back. Imagine hearing that from the person you loved the most? It just broke my heart and I knew there was something bigger going on with him. There were other things he told me too, how he was unhappy with where he was at (regarding his job). But that he had no other choice but to be there because he was helping his mom a lot. I hope he did talk to his mother, I really do. But I don’t think she would suggest for him to go to therapy. In our type of community it is very rare for middle-aged parents to suggest that. Even in my case, I haven’t even told my parents/family I am seeing a therapist.
He is in his early 30s. Yes, he is living with his mother. When we talked about moving in together in the future he mentioned to me that he wasn’t leaving his mother on his own and I told him that I was perfectly fine with that. That between the three of us we would buy a house. He was really happy about that, and he even told his mother about it.
I haven’t, that was the first and last time I did that. I just wanted to make sure he had a support system.
Okay, I think I will call him next week.

Thank you, I am considering doing a few more days of NC. I feel like I’m not ready yet. I have to think about what I’m going to message him because right now I have so much stuff on my mind that I can’t even put in words what I want to say. I also don’t want to get my hopes up too much considering the fact that he hasn’t reached out to me. I don’t want to get my heart broken again and go what I went thru when he broke up with me.
I’ll keep you all posted.

This is kind of an update but not really..need some advice more than anything.
I’m about to end my NC 45 day period soon and as the days are approaching I’m feeling a little nervous. He hasn’t messaged me at all since thanksgiving (almost two weeks ago) and hasn’t taken initiative to set up a day to hangout. I’m not sure if that is good or bad.
Anyways, I’m patiently waiting for Thursday. And I have no idea how to initiate contact with him again. Any thoughts, ideas or suggestions?

@tanda
I think since she really hasn’t taken initiative to talk to you means she might be moving on or she’s still hurt. I know it’s hard to do so but I feel like if you move on it will be the best thing you can do for yourself. I know it’ll be hard for you but you have be strong. I really hope she does too. But try not to have your hopes up. Because if you do, the chances of having your heart broken again are high and it would suck so much for you to have to go thru that again. Let us know if she does. Or any updates please.

Thank you! I really hope so too. I’ll be ending it on December 12. So we’ll see what happens!