Soupy

My ex is at a cross roads with life right now. I could see moments where she wanted to fully open up to me, and even began to. But then once it got too real she instantly pulled back. I seen this Repeatedly through our conversation. She opened up about a lot of major things (surprised me), listened in return, but got nervous and never fully let each conversation Cary out. I haven’t spoken to here in a week and a half, I almost feel like with everything going on she is confused and has her wall up and I’m not sure if me being friendly and just letting her know I’m around helps her at the moment. But I have decided anyways, that I am going to reach out a few times, about certain non challent things. Keep in touch, I know me doing little supportive things (telling her about a business opportunity etc) has in the past, really got her mind turning. And Not bring up her situation unless she does. And just show her that when someone cares, they are there for u. No matter how the past has been. I don’t think anyone has done that for her before. And that may be a bit why she is so gun shy with me now.

It won’t let me copy and paste it again. It was written in sept. 10 in column/page 46. Thanks pAlmtree, I look forward to your opinion.

Hey PAlmtree, i know it is a struggle when there is a history of coming back. I too have this looming over me also. But it sounds like u are doing well in taking control of your situation and being more level headed. How have your interactions gone in the past few weeks? Is he still making excuses to talk to u? Are your interactions pleasant or make u edgy?

If u could take a moment to read my post about contact with my ex and give me your comments that would be great. If it’s too hard to find, let me know and I’ll post it again. A lot of new people and comments. I’m Finding it hard to keep up myself.

Thanks

So i seen my ex today. I was driving by and she was outside, so i stopped in. She was surprised at first, but seemed happy to see me. She was very nervous for the first bit and seemed a little flustered. I mean i did surprise her. She let her dog out to play with mine and that seemed to take the edge of of her some and gave me a reason to stay longer. I asked how she was and she actually opened up about her daughter being gone and was open to listening to me. And she asked about me and told me i was looking good, i returned the comment and that seemed to make her nervous again. We talked for awhile longer about her and her situation, until i could see her wall coming up. With her daughter gone She is very hurt (in more ways then one), seems very lost and again not letting anyone in to help. I made the comment that “i was worried about her, so i wanted to make sure she was ok” and that seemed to set her off some. Which i should have expected, as she pulls back and doesnt want/let any one in to help. But rather lives in her own head, to which i think is a big problem in solving issues. Top it off when traumatic events do make a person overthink every part of there life and think major change is needed, as she is currently thinking on top of everything. All in all it wasnt a bad interaction, by any means. I told her if she needs anything to let me know and she said she would. To which i doubt very much, from what i seen and read of her. I can tell she is struggling with so much more then her daughter being gone, bottling it all up in the process, just plain confused. She seemed genuinly happy to talk to me and fairly open which was a bit surprising, but then she realizes it and pulls back. This has become less about getting her back, and more about her in general. But i dont know if me showing support is as good a thing with her, as i once thought. So im not sure if i should continue to reach out periodically? Or just cut off ties all together? Any ideas folks?

Thanks folks, she will be getting them in an hour or so. I basically went with what u said pAlmtree, just added some of my own touch a small bit. I know she will appreciate them. Just Not to sure what is going to happen, or how it will play out. But I will start up some small talk if she messages me at all and see how that goes.

That is a good sign Catherine. Means u are slowly moving ahead, I would say

Thanks palm tree, u are right. I was having a hard time not overthinking it. Do u think I should add “I’m here if u need” anywhere? Or even “love”, soupy at the end. I’m leaning on just putting my name.

Another funny thing I noticed is since my ex has been back(couple weeks) her family has lit up my social media. I don’t think my ex has anything to do with it of course. It’s just very strange, as they didn’t do it at all the time we were together.

That I a great quote for people to relate to in this Amy. Good luck Catherine, I know when I started doing things for myself I really started to feel better!

Amy, I’m sorry u had a rough weekend. I have moments at time still too. But they do start to come less and less. The more I think about your situation and the more tid bits of info I hear, the more my opinion is that u really didn’t do anything wrong. In my opinion, your ex is really selfish. And I think he just made up stupid excuses to blame u for the break up. When in reality I think he did it just to be free on this trip. Especially not wanting u to come, his friend doing the same thing etc. He is obviously immature, very selfish and isn’t thinking about your feelings in all this in my opinion.

Hey pAlmtree, how are things going?

Nothing really new on my end to report. My ex waved to me yesterday. I was crossing my street and she was passing by on a different street a half block away. And she just had her little arm a going to make sure I noticed. Lol. Which doesn’t mean much, I know. I’m going ahead with the flowers and note on wednsday or Thursday. But I’m not expecting much.