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Sadly that means more no contact. You really can not do anything else because anything else will look desperate.
I actually think this is really positive. She is doubting her current relationship and admitting that she still loves you. I would do no contact for a short while, two weeks or so, and then show her some more of your new self. I would not leave a rose, that would complicate things, especially since there is another man involved. Ideally you do not want that other man knowing that you and her have been in contact again so he won’t try to convince her otherwise.
Again, even though you feel otherwise, I think this is really positive.
Well I do not know how you guys broke up. On the one hand I can see how it is sweet but on the other (bigger) hand it is definitely a breach of space. Depending on if you were desperate anywhere in the relationship it may come across as a desperate move as well. Anyway, you can not change the past. So rather than thinking about if it was a good idea, you should think about what you should do next. Did she contact you after the rose?
Sure it may get you back together, but not permanently. You will not have changed in 5-7 days, and she will see the same patterns emerging soon after. The fact that she broke up with you already means that the spark is gone, you need to reignite it with proper change. And if you properly changing you can not lose. My ex broke up with me 4 months ago and of course in the beginning I was trying to get her back, did not work. Now I tried no contact, did it work exactly as planned? No, she is in a rebound and it hurts. Did I still win? Yes, I have changed and I am a ton more attractive to other women. I am actually more successful in life due to the changes that I made to my behaviour.
Now of course Kevin is not always right. He is overgeneralising or oversimplifying some, but that is expected with such complex and personal issues. However what he told me, and what I got from the guides, gave me a clear path and goal to work towards. The goal is not getting your ex back, the goal is to improve yourself to such degree that you become irresistible to your ex, or any other woman for that matter. To actually become a better man.
I am sorry to hear that it went so badly. This is exactly why no contact is absolutely necessary, he needs to get his emotions and feelings straight. I mean sure he was trying with the gifts and all, but him getting angry again shows that he is still processing bad memories. Just try to do no contact, and if he texts you keep it short and precise. Hang in there 🙂
Hi,
Thanks for your response. This post was approved a bit late (10+ days). I have since then done no contact and I have even started dating some other woman just to get my mind off of her. I am 23 years old and my ex is 20 years old. I was her first real relationship she had and to be honest we were both being quite inexperienced about it all. Anyway, I plan to contact her again in a month or so, a few weeks after the semester starts.
I still miss her dearly and there are rarely moments that she is not on my mind. I have already worked hard on improving myself, lost a few pounds and read a book about better communication. I am worried that she will stay mad a long time, she is quite known for that, or otherwise that her defences will be up unreasonably high. We will see.
I think she is still processing some bad memories, sadly this means for you that you have to do no contact for a while longer. Her defences are way up, and those will lower after time.
It is pretty normal to get angry after a break up. He is processing things, and that may take a while. But trust me, he is probably just as confused if not more than you are. I would suggest doing no contact for at least 30 days, the arguing is only pushing him away anyway.
Personally, I think it sounds pretty positive. It seems she misses you. I would not immediately shout it from the roof that you want something with her again, rather stick to the plan and slowly build up communication. After a while you can flirt a bit, that should send the message without sounding desperate. You do not want to have a relationship that ends in a month again, so rather take things slow and think about why she is saying things and what it means to you.
How long did you do no contact, I am reading two weeks? It seems she is still processing bad memories and thus her defences are way up. I would advice doing no contact for at least 30 days and then start a conversation with a memory or something like that. Being over apologetic can be bad too.
When someone says that they are not in love with you anymore it generally means they do not feel attracted to you anymore. I would advice no contact for at least 30 days so that he will start missing you, after that try not to be needy or desperate. I would also advice to go on a date with someone else to get your confidence back, an attractive woman is a confident one. Don’t try to make him jealous though. Also try to figure out why he lost the attraction towards you, usually it is being too needy, too available, too desperate.
I am not an expert by any means, I am, as a guy though, going through a pretty similar breakup and I do not want you to make the same mistakes as I did 😉
