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Hello, I broke up with my ex 6 months ago. I was self consumed with working two jobs and trying to achieve professional goals. I lost sight of what was important to me and so I broke up with my girlfriend. Kicker is she told me she loved me two days before I ended it.
Fast forward through summer, I had a traumatic experience happen that caused me to go to therapy to sort things out. While in therapy it realigned to me the idea of “people over profits” and I started to think back to my relationship. I tried to date and hook up with other women but I found myself comparing everyone to my ex and then found myself constantly thinking about or talking about my ex. Now I’ve come to terms with the fact that I love her and feel terrible about how I ended things.
So I wrote her a letter and a month after that I texted her. She does have a boyfriend that she lives with now but as we texted and then spoke on the phone she told me she still loves me and hasn’t ever stopped loving me. To the point that she was seriously considering leaving her ex for me. I gave her space over the weekend to think about it and then four days later she told me she doesn’t feel morally right leaving someone who has been nothing but nice for someone who at one time broke her heart. But she then said she still loves me and if things don’t workout she will absolutely contact me… I’m now heart broken over it. Karma got me good. Therapy has aggressively changed me and she was very impressed with my improvements mentally and emotionally.
I’m going NC for a couple weeks and considering leaving a letter and a flower on her car at work after those weeks pass. Letter will just let her know my silence isn’t what I want to do but I’m doing it bc I love her and want to respect her wishes.
I need to know if this letter is a good idea and if I should hold onto hope that I’ll hear from her again soon. I just don’t know how you can be in love with me and try to build something with someone else within six months. This all hurts a lot and doesn’t leave my mind but I am doing the “work on yourself” step as well by hiking and doing yoga. Thanks for your help.
I actually think this is really positive. She is doubting her current relationship and admitting that she still loves you. I would do no contact for a short while, two weeks or so, and then show her some more of your new self. I would not leave a rose, that would complicate things, especially since there is another man involved. Ideally you do not want that other man knowing that you and her have been in contact again so he won’t try to convince her otherwise.
Again, even though you feel otherwise, I think this is really positive.
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