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Bonjour! Comment va tu? Je suis bien.
Lol anyways eh my ex contacts me all the time, rolls are reversed now that 9 months has passed. He’s with another but still says he loves me and wants to be near me. It’s whatever at this point. Anyways I have a new man ;p someone I totally adore. He was my best friend while I was with this other guy and even closer after.
We kinda hit it off! I hope you all figure out what you want. Me? I’ve found something better than a man who will cheat and lie to me. Best of luck to you all!
Oh I was aware of his controlling nature at first it didn’t seem troubling until later in the relationship. It’s one factor and his “friendly” ways that made me break it off. And yeah I do what I want though we still see each other as we all have mutual friends. You’d think they would see he’s bad and stop associating for his behavior but they won’t so I just ignore him. Though they all agree he isn’t a very good person for doing that to me.
I think it hurts him that I don’t talk to him. Hence why he texted me while on my vacay. And yeah about that friend… Idk we kinda hit it off after that night my ex got jealous. Sadly he lives far away and well I don’t want long distance though we used to talk all the time. Now eh he’s just back to being a friend. Good way to just realize you can feel for others.
And yeah I know things get better. Always stay positive and they’ll see you’re ok without them. Only thing is people warm me he may try to come back when that girl leaves (if he doesn’t go w her of course lol) seeing as he still flirts with me when she’s not around and that he hasn’t really done that “want you back” stage (according to others)… I don’t think that girl likes me now haha but alas I cannot make people like me because of other people’s faults. Probably why she told me they were “officially together”. At this point I just laugh at the matter.
Hmm haven’t been here in awhile. Well it’s been five months post break up and I’m doing just fine. I stopped talking to him 3 weeks ago when the person that was once my best friend confirmed they hooked up. Funny how he claimed that if I loved him I wouldn’t hang out with this mutual friend of ours, yet it was fine for him to do as he pleased. I feel his pride was stepped on by me not giving a damn. Anyways We (friends family and I) all saw it coming and though they had denied it time and again we all knew.
I told him he wasn’t a very good person and this wasn’t out of anger it was just the truth he needed to hear.
Turns out they had hooked up before our break up signifying that he cheated more than the one time he told me.
Not surprised, he is that type of person very in for himself much like my one time friend.
I don’t want him back and I don’t wish mal intent. I don’t think their relationship will work since she’s leaving though and well if they cheated on my what’s to stop them from doing it again? Either way I don’t butt in.
Though he contacted me while I was out of town wishing me a good trip. I responded with a thanks but nothing more. I may still be in his mind but oh well.
We all went to Vegas (EDC) a month and half ago, he got pretty trashed and flirted with me and tried things. Including trying to comfort me and kiss me. I didn’t allow it because I wasn’t going to be like them. If he’s with someone then he shouldn’t be doing that but that is for them to figure out. Though i don’t think this friend knows he tried that with me as she wasn’t ever around for it.
So yeah that’s my story so far. I’m currently applying to new schools to farther my degree and I’m back to my pre dating weight :pHey guys well I’m here for support. I wish I could give more than just encouragement but as I am currently going in circles w my ex I’m not to sure what to say.
I’m in 4 months since the break up, we talk now because he doesn’t wanna lose me, but idk what to do or how to feel when he gets all up to me when he’s drunk or that he claims to still care about how I feel and tries to touch me while I feel bad, he also keeps saying it’s not the same kind of care as back then.
Oh well, I think if your ex is talking to you it may be a good sign but remember not to come across as needy and desperate. I know it’s hard not to cry or say something but remember it’s about you and not them. Anyways I’m here if you need me.
Hey guys…
Hmm well this new guy, a very dear friend of mine, expressed his interest in me and we kinda got close but he doesn’t live here. My ex saw us Cuz we all went to a party… We didn’t do anything but he swore up n down we were doing things. I hadn’t even kissed the guy just hung out around him Cuz he’s my good friend. Anyways ex says we can’t be friends because a person that truly loved him wouldn’t do that to him Infront of him. (He’s kissed my one time good friend and cheated on me once) I just gave him an incredulous look and said that I had never down anything to him ever and he disappeared again not answering. ( he doesnt know how to respond ) he did touch my stomach and sat on me the second night idk why.
Anyways friend goes back to PA and my ex is not talking to me until we all go to out w friends he’s there… He talks a little says it’s hard to talk to me when I’m mean. I’m not mean though ever. Anyways silence again. Then we have a small kick back he comes down. We end up talking all morning from 6-10 am.
He says he’s so sorry and he misses me dearly and he shouldn’t have treated me the way he did. He says he prays every day that I find what I need and want. He still dreams about me. He even cried again and again. He asked for a real hug and I gave him one in which he pulled me into him and held me but I moved away unsure… He said I was never a person he could hate he just hated himself. He said I was the perfect person but it took until now to realize it. I think he sorta asked me back but I told him we wouldn’t work right now… Too much had happened but maybe in the future once we figured ourselves out (mostly him) we could see. He hugged me that way again and then held me because of my anxiety… He touched my face because I did cry a little. He said he was gonna continue to love me, even when I said he shouldn’t. He said he wanted to be near me anyway he could. and if I found another bf he woul be mad because he’d get me instead of him but he wouldn’t be rude to me. He’d respect it. He’s still talking to me. He says he’s changed because of me and I told him I hope it would help him in his next relationship… He got sad about that.
Idk if I’ve done the right thing or not. Should I keep talking to him? I do still love him… But that doesn’t matter anymore because everyone around me says too much has happened and he isn’t a good guy to me or for me. Help please? This is running me crazy because I just don’t know what he wants or why he says some of these things.
It’s really hard… I know how toxic this relationship was for me. Me always doing things for him but he hardly doing things for me… Yet I still feel love for him, despite his betrayals. I do wake up thinking what if I hadn’t walked away maybe it would’ve worked but I also realize that it probably wouldn’t if it hadn’t already in the past year with him…
Sucks truly that I broke up with him, but I did try to fix it again and again, so at this point it’s his problem to handle and not mine.
Well yeah I did that. I said I can’t make what’s not there be there. I can’t be your friend so you’ll just have to lose me.
He texted me saying “really you can’t be a friend”. I just said idk at this point. He asked if I wanted to be left alone, but explained that he had never been my friend before and neither with his past ex, but he didn’t want her around like he wanted me.
I’m too good of a friend and persons to lose, or Im too good for him, he’s not good enough for me, he’s not a good man…. is what he has said. Then he shouldn’t have done all that to me. I’m good for now, he hasn’t texted me and I took down my snap chat and Facebook app. No need for him or his friends to keep tabs on me.
I do love him always will in some way, but I don’t need a person that didn’t respect me in the relationship or after to stick around. Three guy friends think he wants me as a friend so that… One by staying near him I keep a small attachment to him and two he can keep tabs on who I go with and where I go. At this point I’ve tried what I could and its just not to work.
I’m here for anyone else just contact me here.
Hey
It’s only been 3 months, long story short I started NC a week after the break up and lasted 3 weeks before he reached out to me. It’s been a very crazy ride… When we were talking he was being sweet and everything but I said something to a friend of ours and he told him… Which caused us to go quiet… When he came back he kissed me a couple of times… Always wanting to and after the first time I said enough was enough because this wasn’t right. He has admitted to still loving me. I even asked him back but he said he was afraid he’d hurt me again and lose me forever. Well he ended up kissing my best friend… He told me I forgave… He kept texting but I was kinda cold because people said I should be.
There’s a lot… But we talked on Thursday. I admitted to still wanting to make it work. I guess I should have trusted myself and gone to see him when we went into NC the first time… He said it was too late, that he’d been waiting for so long but now too much had happened. He said we can be friends or nothing at all. I don’t think its right to get an ultimatum. I said if he doesn’t love me anymore than that’s fine I’ll leave it at that. He said he still did and i see he does, but he said idk again. Should I go back to NC or what do I do? I’m not sure if this relates to this board… But idk I’m really struggling here.
So he wants to talk tonight…. I agreed to it but I don’t know what to do. Should I follow the plan and try to work it out? Or just be there, become a comfort and slowly make it work? Or do I just leave it be? He has done much to me but my god do I still care about him. Despite trying to be indifferent the past few days, Yesterday he opened that closed door. Even this other guy couldn’t get me distracted from how much I care for him. I know he still cares he’s shown me and told me dreams. I’m unsure of what to do right now. I guess if no one answers I’ll figure it out but you get my drift. Wish me luck. Hopefully things turn out well even if it’s not the end result you know?
P.S I have these tiny wishing boats that you give to loved ones so they can wish something… Should I give him one? It’s a gift from a Korean friend and he said use it for those you care.
I agree with oshi and what you said. Remember to relax and breath im sure things will be fine. Be positive and just look to brighter things. At least he is conversing with you…. I’ve hit a block and unfortunately I don’t feel it’ll work…. But I’m here for both of you all you need to do is ask.
The thing is I don’t think it was because of what happened to me. In all honesty the two of them had just gotten too close over the year when he was dating me… And well she was the main reason I broke up with him. He’s at fault too for never respecting what I felt about him biting and licking her face… I understand he’s friendly, but he would be pissed when I touched one of his friends on the face in a joking “you’re so fat” manner. My own sisters stopped letting him be that way because it’s wrong and well he stopped with one of his other friends because she was dating a friend of his.
This shows that he can but chose not to. It became a blatant disrespect of my feelings…. And yet I was still there for him when he contacted me a month later after the break up. Then all this happens :/ he has talked to me a bit. Even asked to personally tell me first what had happened. And about him being jealous? I don’t know maybe… He did say that well “kari, made out with this other guy” drunkenly when my sister approached him, but he doesn’t remember and I didn’t make out with the guy. I got a kiss and kissed back for two seconds before I was like nope… I can’t because I love my ex.
My ex hates this guy too. Because he didn’t like how this guy always wanted to talk to me, but I was never unfaithful and kept this guy at bay while with my ex. Afterwards well he wasn’t talking to me so it just happened. We have similar social abilities, where people like us and we’re super friendly and we are sociable, but I had respect to not do things that bothered him….
I do agree that I need time to myself. Not even for him to come back but for me to relax my mind and just not fret over the significance of something that may or may not have meaning.
@oshi
@kaila
Well I’ve talked to them both and they both show a lot of remorse. I have forgiven them both already and told them so. My friend denies ever having any other intention but friendship and she feels terrible that she wronged me despite knowing me 14 years. I told her to never come crying to me to help ease her pains, because she didn’t deserve it. As for him… Idk what he feels persay. I know he’s remorseful and he hates himself but still it doesn’t seem to push him to be different. He says he’s never liked her and that he really truly loved me but wasn’t good for me. Idk if he wanted to make me jealous… It’s possible since he found out I got kissed by this one guy from a friend of ours. (Why I don’t trust people) things were going so well again for us and now this. I don’t think it’s wise for me to pursue or it may just completely unravel me.As for you kaila… You should focus on you for now. If things are to work they will in due time.
And Oshi you have a point. They may want to remain in your life due to love but make sure that this love is not toxic. I feel mine may head that way so I am asking for space…. That’s what I’ve decided on for now. It’ll be hard but focusing on oneself is the only way to understand what you truly need and want from those around you. 🙂Hey…. I really need some help here.
Things had been going good for the most part with my ex, but we still had much to talk about and we were… He was warming up to me and still telling me he loves me and misses me but he’s afraid of hurting me. Lo and behold he did.
I invited all my friends to my house for a get together. Hadn’t had one in a long time with everyone and well my ex came too. He and a friend of mine got pretty drunk on wine and they ended up kissing… They didn’t realize it had happened until my sister saw and punched them both, hating them because we had all guessed it would happen eventually. They were just too close in a weird way.
They didn’t tell me until Sunday… They didn’t remember much, so my sister told them everything. My ex asked to speak with me Sunday night so i did. He told me what happened and I wasn’t surprised.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I love him I do but he did something to me that pains me so much because as I said I expected it because of how they always acted over the year even when he was with me. They both claimed to have no intentions, but it happened. I don’t want this up and down anymore, but I do still love him. Is this just a toxic relationship? Should I just move on for my sake? I can’t choose who to love but I can choose what I experience.
Kaila
Hmm he seems to be dodging the situation. I don’t know everything but from what Ive read he doesn’t seem to be ready… Idk if he ever was after wards but at this point he seems to be doing the “single life” but he’s also keeping your attention. That’s a bit of an a****** move.
Now if you truly think it’s worth the work I say give it time. You’ve most certainly put in your effort but now he has to as well. You have presented your thoughts and he seems to keep dancing around as if not wanting to give the definite answer. Now you say he’s the dream guy, but have you come to understand that even if you try it might not work? I’m saying this because it took me understanding that in order to just relax and let my anxiety go.
Now I’m not saying give up. You feel it’s important so keep going but do not let him drag you along. Maybe he’s still healing or is confused, so do what you said and wait. When a situation presents itself attempt again. For now go to taking care of yourself, I’m an avid meditator and it has brought me peace. And like I said that hobby you enjoy do it more often. Slowly your anxiety begins to ebb away.
I hope I helped ^.^
Also ask me anything and I’ll help to my best extent!Hi, so I was reading about how you feel anxiety. I think thats normal, but it depends to what degree. I know for certain I felt it for an entire week afterwards even after him continuously texting me. Eventually I was fine, not worried just going about things and he began texting me again this week. Oh by the way it was a year relationship and I ended it because he was ignoring my feelings and it was becoming hard to withstand. I now feel anxiety, but thats because complications arose that was both our fault…
Anxiety can also be nerves, maybe you just feel nervous of what may or may not happen. Do you do any sort of relaxation techniques or exercises? I find yoga is very freeing or even painting.
I’m up for offering any assistance, if you just need to chat or what not.
