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Hey JM,
I’m not a professional or anything (and am also going into NC), but deleting/unfollowing your ex on social media does not really do anything much to NC. NC is pretty much you not initiating any contact with your ex at all while at the same time improving yourself as a person. If you delete her on social media (which is a powerful tool you can use to show her that you’re living life and are still able to be happy without him/her) it could show that you really had to make an effort to forget about them as well. Because I’m pretty sure that majority of the time while you are not contacting your ex, there will be a point in time during the NC where your ex will miss you and might even stalk your social media. I’m just basing my opinion on information I have found all over the internet. Keep in my that the NC period may take longer than 3 weeks, it varies depending on a lot of things such as how long you two were together, how the relationship was, and how bad the breakup was and how you reacted to it. Hopefully I was able to help you out a little bit. Good luck!
Hey Angel,
So based on what you have down for us it seems like the NC could be affecting him in a way, I’m sure that there is still a chance if he made the effort to delete you off of Facebook after an entire month showing that he still thinks of you. I’m not a professional but I’m going through the same thing with my ex girlfriend, aside from the deleting part, where I was also blind sided and left heartbroken as well. That being said I’ve used every bit of information that the internet has to offer and deleting someone from social media is an apparent sign that they are still thinking of you(not that we can confirm what the other person is thinking of course). The fact that you feel you should give up could just be based on your instincts telling you so but your instincts could be wrong. The NC rule is supposed to be a very long process depending on how good your relationship was, and how long it was it could affect the time period differently. If you two spent that much time together it’ll take a while for him to actually get over you (if he even does), because for the last two years he has had you with him and so now that he doesn’t if you pull back I’m sure eventually he will actually message you first out of curiosity. I’m not a professional just regurgitating whatever information I have found (also basing it on a past experience I had when I broke up with an ex girlfriend before). Good luck to you.
I think that you should try to go back into NC. As hard as that is, because if there was something there that you felt for sure between you two then given the time frame she probably doesn’t really miss you enough just yet. On top of that if you’ve been making improvements on yourself, you should be able to use social media as a tool to show that you’re at least living life and are happy without her. That tactic is supposed to up your attraction to her making things better for you. The fact that she didn’t bring up that she is in a relationship could possibly be a sign that she may still be into you but until she says that herself you won’t know for sure so I would not look too much into it. The only way to get to know for sure is to go into NC. it’s a long process but you need to give her the chance to miss you and you can’t do that if you show her that you’re still around waiting on her.
Update: she did text me happy birthday last week and we had a light conversation (she actually responded to me faster than she was at the point of our break up) but after i asked her how she has been she never responded to me again. This was before I saw her at work.
How long were you in NC for before you decide to send that message? Also were you two established as dating at any point or at least talking in that way? I’m not a professional or anything (also a struggling guy like yourself) but from what I understand NC is supposed to help us develope into a better person than who we were when we were with so and so, and that getting them back is a result from that work that we put into ourselves. That being said if she had to make that effort to block you then you may have shown a clingy side to you or something she may have found unattractive. I have seen YouTube videos and read somethings where sending a message like that would normally work to spark something that had existed there between you two before (I have not yet tried messages like that for myself because I am still in NC at the moment) but every video and article I’ve read pretty much has one thing in common and that is you should send something like that when you feel ready or when you are at the point where you feel you’ve got nothing to lose in sending that message. Again I’m not a professional, just a struggling guy trying to accomplish the same goal as you, but hopefully I was able to help out somehow.
So to me it looks like you have the best scenario going on for you. I’m not sure what you did to get to that point but based on what is there for us to read, it seems like she wants you back. Not entirely sure how she talks to people but if she just calls you babe and not her friends or anything like that babe then that may be an indicator that she could be ready to discuss things with you. Now no way of telling for sure because nobody can know what exactly she is thinking but her, maybe you should try to test the waters one step at a time whenever you are ready though.
She has been taking the medication for a while but she says it doesn’t really help her much. I haven’t tried texting her back since then, i did however see her at work and tried to talk to her (not about the relationship) just asking her how she has been. She did ask me how my school business was going and how the new job was for me but I can sense the awkwardness between us…I did go back into no contact though. Not sure if it is working still.
Update: So after going back into no contact she texted me back this morning but I am not sure if she is trying to have a conversation with me because she did check on me and so after I stopped messaging back because she sent me an “I see lol” message.
So to answer your questions, yes she is currently still living with her parents, she graduated college already but is going back to get her masters degree soon, she was seeing a therapist before but is now only on medication, yes I do have a job and go to school (should be done with nursing school in two years), and we live maybe 15 minutes apart.
She did message me yesterday only to say happy birthday to me and I responded with “thank you so much. Hope you’re doing well.” And immediately went back to no contact.
Well I met her through working at her family business so they say they know I’m a good person but their problem with me is that I am still in school. Is there a point when I should try to reach out again?
Thank you for responding Patricia. I do understand that I need to give her time to herself. Since I posted this in the forum I have done my absolute best to work on myself and not contact her and the last I’ve heard from her was when she messaged me on social media congratulating me on getting a new job, I replied with a thank you hours later but since then I have not been keeping any contact. I’ve been looking up more information on NC but I am not sure as to how do I know if it is working? I understand that the process is really for me to fix myself and make myself better. Will there be specific signs that she will show that’ll let me know that there is a chance if I keep following no contact?
