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Seth’s right mate I’ve been in agony for weeks since my ex split with me and unfortunately my ex has bad anxiety and depression so you can’t deal with them the same and what they say and what they mean can be totally different to what we think. He said to just leave her to it and get on with my own life and it’s been 9 days and every day gets easier. I’m trying to keep the mindset that if she really thinks we aren’t worth another chance then it’s her loss as I’m a really good, honest and genuine bloke and on the plus side I don’t have to worry about her anxiety and depression anymore
She definitely hasn’t got personality disorder but she’s very fragile when things not right and I’ve massively made her bad the guilt is crippling me dude even though she says I don’t blame you
Yeah to be fair during the relationship she’s always said that she’s rubbish and a bad girlfriend and that she’s better alone, I was always supportive but when the circumstances changed I went inside my shell and was depressed so I didn’t support her and made her feel worse and worse to the point of nearly self harming so I can understand why she doesn’t want me back I can only hope she changes her mind in the future but I can’t hold on to that or I’d go insane mate
Thanks Seth, I so hope your right and she’ll come back to me but for my own sanity I’m doing my best to accept it’s over for good.
The trouble with anxiety and depression is they can say one thing and mean another. She has always messaged me back and this has been every other day but I have upset her a few times with messages and in person when I have been bringing up the past in these last 8 weeks before I went no contact. Just want to get her out my head and get myself straight now as it’s affecting my work and how I am with my kids. This has been bad for them two as they miss her and her son
Yes I’d say so, she’s had anxiety and depression for at least 4 years and is on medication and regularly went to counselling. She’s obviously happy without as I have been the cause of making her feeling bad again. At least she’s left the door open in a sense as her last message said “I think it’s best if you ban yourself from getting in touch with me until you’re in a good place” this is what I’m going to do it’s my only option
She’s said to not contact her till I’m in a good place, with her anxiety and depression and her general mental health she will never contact me as she has made the decision to breakup due to my behaviour putting her into a very bad way. I guess I’ll just have to get myself right and then contact her. I’ve gone a week without contact and i do feel better for it. I just hope she doesn’t get with someone else but she said a couple of weeks ago she just wants to be on her own with her son and animals. She used to say to me all the time she’s rubbish at relationships and that she’s a bad girlfriend which I know is a common trait with people with mental health problems as they feel they are not worthy of being loved etc, this is what plays on their mind and because I became distant and not supportive it drove us apart and we lost the intimacy and everything and this started last September up to when we split first week in March.
I should of said she has been on meds for anxiety and depression for a few years to and me pulling away from her made her really ill and close to self harming so I’ve always said I understand why she broke up with me as it had gone bad but I just know we are meant to be. We both said we fell madly in love with each other on the first date. It’s so sad that circumstances and lack of communication has killed the best thing I’ve ever had
I’m not so sure mate she’s said we can’t get back together and stuff so often and puts up a barrier if I mention the past. I told her to block me on Facebook about a week ago cos I could see her on and it was making me think she was after other blokes and she went mad and said I’d really pissed her off with my jealousy and it’s really inappropriate and that if I want to message about stupid stuff like that then do it to my friends not her. We were connected but not friends as she has come off Facebook when we were together due to her anxiety so all I couldn’t see anything but it was playing on my mind badly
Thanks for the response mate, my family all say to move on as she is adamant that the past should stay there and we shouldn’t be together but then she has said she wants me in her life but not till I’m in a good place
I’ve just started no contact (5 days in) after messaging for 3 weeks, not really begging, more in denial and messaging casual stuff which was making it harder for me. I’m actually finding it easier than I thought. I have removed social media and archived WhatsApp chat etc so i’m not tempted. I’ve been keeping seeing friends and trying to keep a clear mind and actually look at what was bad in the relationship, all these things have helped myself, hope they can help you too matey
It’s my own fault for not opening up about how I was feeling and letting us drift apart slowly, hindsight and all that I would of done things differently. Shes very stubborn to and once she makes a decision she sticks to it.
She wants us to be friends in the future and the kids want to see each other still so I think I’ll continue with no contact till my heads in a better place.
To be honest it would be stupid to get back together as it was as nothing has changed so time apart and then seeing each other with the kids as friends is probably a better way to go anyway
