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I mean. It wasn’t just my feelings that caused her anxiety. She said she still had feelings for her rebound several times.
My fear is that she is planning on going on another date with this new person, and my interaction with her is sending the message that she can get her close emotional needs met with me while she can see what else is out there. Then on the othe r side of my thinking is, why is it such a bad thing if she’s confused and scared about being with me? Our last year n a half was horrible, and she messed up pretty bad in the end. We weren’t really clear on what was going on in our relationship when she slept with someone else. We tried to work on our relationship several times, but my emotions and utter rage made her feel like she should continue looking for someone else.
She called me again tonight, but it seed different. A little less soft and more matter of fact, cold.. but then ended the call with “call me later if you feel like it~”
Im lost
Buby
You are so right. I honestly wouldn’t be able to get with her if she came back right now. She’s too up and down.
I hate this.
I kind of feel like my pride might get in the way down the road. If my ex and I communicated again, Id be too prideful to give in. Maybe that’s something I should work on during NC. Being stubborn is a fault of mine.
Yeah. I don’t doubt she wants to see what if she can find better. We had a rough last year. I had my doubts and thought about someone being better for me…and I suppose Ill be figuring that out as well through all of this.
So..pretty much, whether she’s confused or not is irrelevant. What is relevant is that it isn’t good for me and I need to focus on me. I can’t blame her for any of it. Things got pretty bad.
So I should dismiss trying due to her confusion… or am I stuck where I think she’s confused but she’s really just wants to ease the pain of losing me by having me around while she is dating? Now Im lost.
This has been my understanding: she says she loves me but doesn’t think we should try to be together right now. Shares her dating life and says she wants me to be friends with her but she also says she love me on a deeper level than a friend. She says she just wants to live a happy life and says she hopes we both find someone that makes us happy but says she struggles with the breakup, cries about missing me, misses what was, and sends me pics of us during our relationship. Then she will say when she thinks about the relationship, she gets horrible feelings, but says anything is possible and “who knows what will happen”.
She’s not confused? She’s just playing with my emotions? Im really lost now.
Sparky:
I’ve tried the NC thing before but she hits me up after a week or two and says really loving things or says she’s having a hard time with the breakup etc. Gives me hope. False hope, in the end. So yeah.. it’s going to be tough not letting her penetrate my soft exterior that I always present to her. I am determined to focus on me and just live young, happy and free spirited.
She said she has moved on from the relationship. I can’t wait for the day that happens to me.
I hope things work out for you. Thanks for the words. 🙂
Sparky: yes. It does. 🙁
Buby: I mentioned to her that I felt that she just wanted to have her cake and eat it too. She said that she doesn’t expect that and she just wants me in her life because she loves me deeply. But she straight up said she doesn’t want me in that way. Then she backs that up with her infamous “not right now”. Or “I think anything is possible” statements. Last night, our last convo for six months, I told her that I don’t think she has any plans on trying to work on a future with me. She said that right now she doesn’t see it happening. Hurt bad. So, now I feel like maybe I should work harder to move on because everything that has happened point in the direction of finding someone that deserves me. Here goes the six months. Ha. Fml
