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So, she’s not trying to date the person she told me she liked and wanted to pursue before. Now, she is dating someone else…and wasn’t shy about telling me about it. The only thing that made me feel better about it was she said “He’s just ok. But i feel that this is not a rebound. Im kind of freaking out.
When we spoke a bit further she told me that she loves me on a deeper level than a friend but that she wants to be friends. She apologized for how she hurt me and said it’s hard to not hurt me because she’s just trying to live and be happy. She said she has moved on from the relationship and she hopes I can too. She still says if we reconnect in the future then okay but that right now that’s not what she wants.
I’ve had to communicate with her up to this point to tie up loose ends from my move.Tonight will be the last night we speak for 6 months. I know it was suggested 60 days, but I don’t feel like it’s enough time.
If you read my other post, and this one, please give me some wise words and some insight. I guess the only thing to do is say bye to her. So many years and this is how she ended it all?! Says she doesn’t feel that way for me…but loves me more than a friend. Dates around and acts like I should be happy go lucky about it. Im so torn up right now.
Sounds very similar to the way my Ex has been behaving. Trying to find me in somebody else. Saying that she loves me as a friend but saying far too many things that show that she still feels so much more than that. Always running to me for help when she needs it etc.
It sucks doesn’t it?
You have to move on for awhile…I think she wants her cake and pie..Meanung she wants to have fun but still keep what she have with you and call it a friendship without feeling bad. You have to let her go to show her that your a friend but you was also her lover that got hurt and the process and you can’t be there for her how you was before…She’ll realize one day may not.be soon enough for you but one day she’ll know what she lost..And when she come back you’ll be stronger than ever to handle whatever she got to bring to.the table…Me and my ex been broking up for almost four months. .He left me for someone else..Seems like their happy but,Who knows…He dont even contact me which is the sad part..At least you have someone that care to still have contact with.you even though she’s playing with your emotions..I already gave up on getting my ex back even though i miss him like hell…We was together for almost two years..And just bam ,called me said he was done..And i was like huh? lol…But its going to be hard..Its hard for me everyday because i still care and love him dearly..But you cant make the other person have the same feelings as you…I wish you the best of luckbon your journey
Sparky: yes. It does. 🙁
Buby: I mentioned to her that I felt that she just wanted to have her cake and eat it too. She said that she doesn’t expect that and she just wants me in her life because she loves me deeply. But she straight up said she doesn’t want me in that way. Then she backs that up with her infamous “not right now”. Or “I think anything is possible” statements. Last night, our last convo for six months, I told her that I don’t think she has any plans on trying to work on a future with me. She said that right now she doesn’t see it happening. Hurt bad. So, now I feel like maybe I should work harder to move on because everything that has happened point in the direction of finding someone that deserves me. Here goes the six months. Ha. Fml
Good luck @LAbound
I think that everything points at my relationship heading in the same direction unfortunately. That is why this period of NC is about me. She can’t even let me stay focused on that (not that she knows that is what I am doing but O thought that’s the whole point of NC).
Sparky:
I’ve tried the NC thing before but she hits me up after a week or two and says really loving things or says she’s having a hard time with the breakup etc. Gives me hope. False hope, in the end. So yeah.. it’s going to be tough not letting her penetrate my soft exterior that I always present to her. I am determined to focus on me and just live young, happy and free spirited.
She said she has moved on from the relationship. I can’t wait for the day that happens to me.
I hope things work out for you. Thanks for the words. 🙂
Yeah..Your just going to have to move on..Its hard…I still think of my ex everyday and dont even try to contact me..So I figured he’s happy in his new relationship….It hurts alot…Well good luck again..
I also suggest moving on. She wants to keep you in the loop in case she gets bored with the guy or starts having arguments. That is so disrespectful if nothing else. Don’t give in to her sweet words.
Move on with your life. There are endless possibilities out there for you to be happy. It is highly possible that you are gonna find someone that will appreciate you for who you are and will work on things and be with you through thick and thin. That is not fairy tale. There are lots of solid marriages.
You know, there is this simple fact everyone realizes at some point in their life: People understand the value of things when they lose them. So maybe she will finally get it. That you are no longer around her when she needs you. That you are making somebody else happy, but not her. Think about it a bit, and let it sink. Because that is also what she’s doing it to you now.
So I should dismiss trying due to her confusion… or am I stuck where I think she’s confused but she’s really just wants to ease the pain of losing me by having me around while she is dating? Now Im lost.
This has been my understanding: she says she loves me but doesn’t think we should try to be together right now. Shares her dating life and says she wants me to be friends with her but she also says she love me on a deeper level than a friend. She says she just wants to live a happy life and says she hopes we both find someone that makes us happy but says she struggles with the breakup, cries about missing me, misses what was, and sends me pics of us during our relationship. Then she will say when she thinks about the relationship, she gets horrible feelings, but says anything is possible and “who knows what will happen”.
She’s not confused? She’s just playing with my emotions? Im really lost now.
In a sense she’s confused…But in reality people know what they want and don’t want…She misses what yall had,but she wants better or looking for better…Or she just want fool around for awhile…Like ghost said she just want you in the loop still..Just because she’s confused doesnt mean you have to be or suffer because of her..This is about you..Focus on you and screw her feelings right now..Thats what you have to do and order not to hurt as bad…
Yeah. I don’t doubt she wants to see what if she can find better. We had a rough last year. I had my doubts and thought about someone being better for me…and I suppose Ill be figuring that out as well through all of this.
So..pretty much, whether she’s confused or not is irrelevant. What is relevant is that it isn’t good for me and I need to focus on me. I can’t blame her for any of it. Things got pretty bad.
Dont blame yourself…After the breakup, I felt like he was so erong..Than I sat back and was like no it was all my fault for the breakup i couldve done better or whatever. ..But We shouldn’t look at it like that..It was both of our faults because we couldve made it through whatever situation we had if we truly loved one another..But it takes two to tango..And if the other person isnt willing to put in the work to make the relationship work than you cant blame yourself. .Just have to move on and maybe in the near future yall will meet back up on better terms and see what happens..Till than its nothing you can do about it…Because if she did take you back,You wouldnt be happy because you know her heart and mind will be somewhere else..And thats a worser feeling….Its a leaning process…Im still learning its been four nonths..he told me he moved on..And im still over here in a new relationship and still not moved on its a sucky situation just stay strong..
Buby
You are so right. I honestly wouldn’t be able to get with her if she came back right now. She’s too up and down.
I hate this.
I kind of feel like my pride might get in the way down the road. If my ex and I communicated again, Id be too prideful to give in. Maybe that’s something I should work on during NC. Being stubborn is a fault of mine.
Yeah just stick to NC….Dont even check social media..If she calls just tell her you need time alone…If she keep calling block her but dont give in..This is to help you out a lil…When i first did NC i was a wreck crying everyday..Even though i still miss him and think of the situation im not crying anymore…Im way better than what i was before it just takes time and distance..If you love yourself do it for you..Because in the end we only have ourselves…We are the only ones that know our intentions..And we cant worry about other people intentions are..because some can be a devil in disguise….. Anyways good luck once again..You can do it…
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