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Hey man. Very similar situation over here. We’ve been having semi-regular sleepovers. She said we were on the right path and she had no interest in seeing anyone else. Found out today she’s been on two first dates but doesn’t want to go on any seconds. Told her we can’t be sleeping together and seeing other people so I ended it. 5 minutes later she asked if we could take the weekend to think about things.
Moral of the story is you are doi ng the right thing. There’s no guarantee you (or i) get our girls back but we can’t live in this gray space. They either can have us and nobody else. Or everyone and not us. We deserve more. You said it perfectly you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you. If she does she knows where to find you.
So basically we moved in tI get her because it made sense. We were both hesitant but so happy to be in the same city and both needed roommates so we did it. It worked in the beginning but then small things got in the way. My job requires a lot of travel at times and she hated being home alone. I wanted to have a life outside each other. I wanted to make friends in the new city so there were some nights I’d go out with the guys and she felt like she wasn’t a priority. We just had little fights over stupid things. Even she said there was nothing big. It was just all the little things added up and she needed space.
I definitely agree with you though. How long do I do this for? How do I progress things to the next level?
Appreciate all the feedback. Sounds like patience is the key. I will keep doing just that.
Update: second date honestly could not have gone better. We went out had fun. Came back to her place made dinner and then immediately started making out. She initiated the move to the bedroom and we had sex. We talked and said we both aren’t ready to get back together yet but want to keep seeing each other. She in is Ted there is nobody else and has no interest in anybody and loves me and says I’m her best friend. She acknowledged she knows we could never be just friends. Says we are taking the right steps and that we are building up to getting back together and it doesn’t happen overnight. I asked her the end goal with all of this and she said she wants to work on things but needs to take thing slow as we dated for 4 yrs and getting back together would be significant. She was texting me all day about how happy she was waking up with me today and how much she just missed touching me. We had a lot of sex in that 12 hr period. My question to the forums is is she for real? I really do want to believe we are headed in the right direction. I want to take things slow I just wish I knew there was a finish line here. Any advice?
So I feel like I’m being messed with. She is so hot and cold. One minute she’s talking about places she wants to take me. the next we say one word to each other all day. Two things bugging me. The first is we were both invited to her family’s bday party this weekend before the breakup. It’s in a different state and she doesn’t have a car I saw on the thread thay she is definitely going. How is she getting there???? The second is she is having her own bday party next weekend (granted I won’t be in the country) but so far no invite. We are going out together tonight. What is going on? What do I need to do to clear my head and be relaxed at this “date”? Do I bring up any of my concerns. How can she be texting me everyday? Is she seeing someone else. So confused. Any advice would be great.
Okay thanks for that. Last thing. We were texting flirty and then outta nowhere goes “like we talked about I’m not ready to get back together I just want to take things slow and see where they go” this was before we decided to go on a date this week. Is this something to worry about? Is she being honest or does she want her cake and eat it too? Need some advice on that. I have never talked about relationship yet. She has brought it up twice and I was nochalant sounds good. Thoughts?
Second date is locked in. Going to this outdoor festival. Good music, food and drinks. Anything special I need to do?
Ya it’s hard to decipher through all this. NC definitely seemed to work. I’ll hold out the weekend see how it plays out and then set something up for next week.
We broke up officially just over a month ago. Immediately went no contact. And it was exactly a month that I got the i miss you text. And we have talked everyday since. Sometimes flirty sometimes just about stuff. There still feels like a giant elephant in the room. Do I just let her bring up the relationship? And do I initiate the next date?
