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Okay so here’s my story. We were to get her for 4 years. 6 months was long distance east coast and west coast. We made the mistake as soon as we both got back to the Midwest of moving in together. Lived together for just under a year. When we decided to move out we were still together. About a month after the move out she broke up with me. It wasn’t bad at all. I picked her up to come talk she said she just needs time and said she’s not 100% sure this is done. We kissed a lot. Both said we love each other so much. Almost had sex but decided that wasn’t the best idea. I took her home. We held hands the whole way she asked for a kiss good bye. Immediately texted me once she got inside apologizing for making us go through this. And that it could turn out like “we hope”. I was fully committed to giving her this time. The next night she texts me to come over because she missed me. I now realize I shouldn’t have but I did. We kissed and talked and layed in bed. I decided to not stay over. Almost a month to the day (after I ignored her previous attempt) she texted me she missed me so much it hurt and to meet her out that night. I declined and said we could catch up that week. We caught up and talked ate dinner had wine cuddled and kissed. I did not stay over. The next day she texted me how much fun she had. We met up for a real date the next week she was super flirty. We ended up having sex (a lot) and she seemed really into me. In the morning she said how much she liked waking up with me. How she planned on getting breakfast before work with me…really couply stuff. Said she still isn’t ready to get back together but this is the right steps to building something back. We met up the next week again. And my flight for work got csncelled so she was really excited for the extra time together and a sleepover. However I ended up having to go anyways. We planned to hang out when I got back. That day comes and she eventually says we are just moving too fast. Says how easy it’d be to start hanging out everyday. And have sleepovers all the time but she just wants to make sure before we try to working through things that this is it for the long haul but she just doesn’t know if it is yet. “That’s what she is working through” So she cancelled the hhang out. We talk every single day. We’ll over 50% initated by her. Each time we see each other it always ends with a kiss. I just don’t know what my next move should be? Just let her initiate the next date? What does all this mean? Does she really just need to take things slow? I don’t think she is looking to be friends she’s even said I don’t think we could ever be just friends. She’s made it cLear she isn’t seeing anyone else and doesn’t have interest in that. What do I do?
Hey Joey,
First off, your situation sounds alot better than mine. your girl calls you all the time, you hang out, and things sound promising that you will get back together. My question to you is why did you break up? why was it a bad idea to move in together? (just curious for my own reasons – i told my ex i wanted to move in with together) and what does she need time to think the relationship over – what is she thinking about exactly? also im confused – you are doing long distance now or you were at one point?either way, like in my situation…. i feel like at some point you need to tell you that its hurting you being in this “middle ground/ gray area”. i think at some point you have to decide how long youre okay with being like this. For me… my girl is prob dating other people so waiting for me is very difficult. I need to find out if she wants to seriously try to be together or separate ways for good. FML
So basically we moved in tI get her because it made sense. We were both hesitant but so happy to be in the same city and both needed roommates so we did it. It worked in the beginning but then small things got in the way. My job requires a lot of travel at times and she hated being home alone. I wanted to have a life outside each other. I wanted to make friends in the new city so there were some nights I’d go out with the guys and she felt like she wasn’t a priority. We just had little fights over stupid things. Even she said there was nothing big. It was just all the little things added up and she needed space.
I definitely agree with you though. How long do I do this for? How do I progress things to the next level?
Back off a little and don’t ask her out for a little while.Be patient and take everything slow.Show her that you are busy doing something (something about your goals in your personal life ).And let her know that you are enjoying your life even without her.
You need to create a slight scarcity.You should let her feel like she might be losing you forever.She doesn’t have to be sure that you still want her back.
You should become a little distant.
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