dreambig

Just a quick update.
After the above I decided to come off social media for a while and just concerate on ‘life’ I temporarily deleted my Facebook until middle of last week when I felt I was back to being myself again. I haven’t carrying on and to be honest not really giving too much thought into any of it just carrying on.
Then the other day I drove past my ex. It was the first time I had seen her since we broke up. She knew it was me and as I drove past I waved but she completely blanked me and looked ahead as if not to see me. I know she did. Then later on I was at the shop and saw her walking towards it. I wanted to say hi to her so hovered for a bit whilst doing my shopping. Typically as soon as I had my back turned she had been and gone within a flash! Again she knew I was there but chose to ignore me and quickly get in and out. I felt a bit gutted about it, but I understood she may of felt awkward saying hello. She is of the shy type. Anyway I left it and carried on my day.
Later that evening I received a message from her! She asked how I was and said she did see me in the shop but I was facing the other way. I repiee back to her reeling he rot was ok. Would of been good to say hi but it’s nice to hear from her. We have been messaging back and forth for a while BUT is just doesn’t feel right. She answering but not asking me any questions, and I’m trying to be upbeat and cheery and she seems to be keeping it down beat and low key. It doesn’t feel a conversation where she is actually interested in talking to. If that makes sense. I have a feeling it will just fade off. I’m not going to tell her how I still feel about her…I told her that last time, so she knows.

It was a social media thing that triggered it. See when we broke up I removed my relationship status to nothing. But I also had a life event where me and my ex are shown as in a relationship. I put it to hide but kept it because it was too painful to delete at the time. She was tagged in it and only me and her could see it after I changed the settings. Months have gone by and to be honest I’d forgotten all about it, i maybe looked into my profile about a month ago. It was still there. I checked again yesterday and it has disappeared. From what I can gather it has gone because she has untagged herself from it. I totally understand why she has and I should of deleted it ages but that triggered another sense of loss and made me feel really bad. I know it’s return minor stuff but when you’re feeling like I am little things like this can get you down!

Noticed yesterday while scrolling through my Facebook, her friend (who became my friend ) mentioned about someting they did on the weekend and my ex commented and mentioned it was similar to the time we all went away on holiday together. Didn’t mention me obviously but shows she can talk about the past with me in it. We had a great time on that holiday lol.

Thanks Lee, you too man.

It’s just the way she is posting, it just seem too happy happy. Or she is just very happy I am out of her life. I’m starting to feel a bit angry at her the way she has ignored me, I just keep thinking if the shoe was on the other foot, no way would I ignore her like she has with me. I also don’t think she loves me, she never said it back towards the end.

Lee I feel your pain, it’s like a stab in the heart man. I feel you, keep strong and ride it out of you can.

It’s been 5 weeks since we last spoke so I guess the no contact started then. It’s started because she ignored my last message, she still has and it shows as unread. I haven’t message dher since. Previous to this I messaged her after I was the last to message previous. This time I haven’t contacted her since she has ignored me. In a way I find it rude, so if she can ignore me and post all happy stuff over social media as if I don’t exist why should I contact her?
You’re right Seth the whole break up was very amicable, we even said we’d keep in touch but she seems to have a different idea now. Maybe she is expecting me to message her again like previously but I have not and won’t now. As much as I like her I also have a bit of self respect and if someone ignores you like this why should I try. I just can’t believe after a long three year relationship she cut me off like this. As hard as it has been I’m very glad I haven’t messaged her again. At least I’m not lowering myself to chasing someone who doesn’t respond to me.

I would love for her to get in touch and who knows but right now I think she’s just getting on, which is fine and so I am. My anxiety has lowered a lot so for anyone reading this finding it tough, stick with it because it does get better.

I wish I had an answer Lee brads. I can only say do what I am doing and follow Seths advice.
It sounds like you guys need some time apart. Concentrate on yourself, like what I am trying to do.

I am feeling better everyday now, I feel I’ve reached the top of the mountain and now coming back down. My mind feels more balanced and the overthinking is lessening, I’m mentally tired of it all now and I think that is a factor, my brain just doesn’t want to keep going over and over.
No updates regards to my ex, but still posting videos of herself sounding very happy and cheery. Which I do really hope she is. I wouldn’t want her feeling down about the whole thing, she needs to be happy with or without me 🙂