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Consider it??? I know it 🙂
That is the beauty of snapchat… When she sends me these snaps I can see 20 other people got them as well… BUT! The other day when we got into an actual conversation I could see I was the only one she talked to…I just hate myself for not doing this right…
I did the NC, and it worked… She was clearly impressed with the new me. We got into a good talk saturday and the other day. She really seemed interrested in my life and what was going on.
On now I failed by giving her too much attention for these group-snaps… The whole “new me” or “Aplha-male-that-has-moved-on” image that I gave her has kinda shattered… Dont you think?I will do what I promissed myself in the beginning. Reply when she actually tries to start a REAL conversation. But ignore the attention seeking snaps…
Any chance these snaps could be a possitive sign? I mean: She is clearly missing someting…
Ok… Let her keep it. oomeday in the future it can be used as a topic when trying to reattract her… 🙂
Then you can ask what she did with it… But not now… Now is time for NC…Tell your mum thank you for that. Hows this going to work? I dont suppose youd give me my ring back? it did mean a lot to me. Its okay if you dont want to. it is yours after all.
I asumed you were engaged??? 🙂
Excatly what I was affraid of. I was affraid that she just needed her attention-fix (see my earlier post)
No they where sent to a bunch of people.
Thanks… We live in different cities so your exampel cant be used 🙂
I am keeping them short.. But today was yet another exampel of her not being invested…
Basicly this could be our conversation (Snapchat)Her: “Ready to go workout” (Sends picture in workout clothes)
Me: “Nice shorts. They new?”
(No reply)Later:
Her: “Almost done with the workout” (Sweaty picture of her)
Me: “Wow, 2 hours now. You are going all in. Great job”
Her: “No only 1.5 hours”
Me: “Ok but still great job”Later:
Her: “Workout done. Looking forward to wearing this” (Sends picture of new dress)
Me: “Wow that is gonna look great on you!”
(No reply)I am no expert here, but is this what you would call hot/cold behavior?
And to answer your other post about match.com…
Who said it was because he has found someone??? Maybe he gave the dating world a try, but found out that he just wan´t ready to meet anyone??
But yes… When we are heartbroke we always asume the worst….But I dont think you need to worry about that…
I actually got some great advice today that I will use next time I am hurting…
Whenever you are down, sad, heartbroken or what ever. You write down on a piece of paper EXACTLY how you feel in this moment. Write it all down, and dont worry about the grammar, nobody is gonna read it… Not even yourself…
And be honest… Not matter how cruel, evil, scary of sad these thoughts might be, they need to go down on paper….
After all your thoughts has been put on paper, you go out for a walk. Clear your head and relax. Think about the good thingss in your life. Your friends, your family, your dog ect….When we hurt it is stored in the right ide of the brain (Emotional side), but by putting all our thoughtss onto paper we store it in the left side (the logical side)
After your walk you can throw the paper away…
I haven´´t done this myself, but I will give it a try 🙂
Exactly… I know it goes against everything that feels natural to you. But it HAS to be done….
Normally I would advice you to not do it, because No Contact is No Contact… But in this case with pictures and memories I say yes: You should ask for them, and the do the NC after that. Afterall they cannot be replaced if he deletes them…
(But I am pretty sure he hasn´t deleted them…)And for gods sake: use this NC wisely! Work your ass of to improve yourself. Many people forget this part. Improve yourself. Be happy!!!
Ok I only read your first post, so here it goes:
First of all what did you do that ended it?
Second: after only 8 days of NC you contact her and give her a message that basicly asks for reconciliation?? And tell her you suddenly see everything so clear, and wonderfull things are happening in your life? Dude… 8 days is nothing?? Nothing major can happend in 8 days, and she cannot get to miss you in 8 days…
Third: She asked you to go away. This clearly indicates she is NOT ready! (Like I just told you) And you basicly start begging her with your texts. Sorry dude but you were begging… But its ok. You did what is natual.
Your plan now
Go 100% No contact. No matter what she texts you, you do not reply. For your own good. Give her a chance to miss you. And dont ask for the ring back. You are an alpha-male now! You dont care about silly stuff like that. Besides: when you get to the re-attraction part it could be a good card to have on your hands.I dont think acting aloof will work at all.
I am gonna keep giving her nice replies to her texts. But wait for her to begin the conversation. I think that will bring the best of both worlds.
Shows her I dont need her, but still keeps the line of communication open.
And what I meant by the “chasing me” part was: If I give her a little affection (not too much) over texts, it might remind her of all the love and affection there was in our relationship. And she might miss that and will want more. You know… Remind her of the love that once were…
Hope that makes better sence 🙂Will look into your topic after work 🙂
Something I leaned in my NC is to take one step at a time. Set yourself a goal like: Ok I gotta get throug these next 3 days. And then set your self project or something you want to accomplish in those 3 days.
Like: I need to go on 1 date, loose x lbs and buy one new outfit…
Thanks @TravelBug
Yes I agree that I might be a little closer to the finishing line compared to most of you. But I can still loose the race!
I would hate to loose the race just inches before the finishing line.
And the “re-attraction” part of the plan hasn’t been covered very well in Kevins manual if you ask me 🙂
Right now my fear is ending in the friendzone… My biggest hope is the affection I give her will make her chase me.
