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February 22, 2015 at 5:22 am #32384
Gingerone
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- Total Posts: 463
If I show my girlfriend that I have changed. I know talk is cheap and I need to prove to her that ive changed. I’m determined to change to give me the best possible chance of winning her heart back. Do ppl think that change will help me win her back?
February 22, 2015 at 6:49 am #32392
divjun
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- Total Posts: 536
I read your story.. and yes the changes you made in yourself and in your life would help you to win her back but you need to follow all the rules of NC. Sometimes in long term relation things get boring due to so much of time spent together. And i myself was having so many fights, arguments and what not from past few months. My ex wasn’t supportive and hurt me alot with his words and actions. I still love him but i am feeling much better without him as i have peace of my mind. I still miss him but i like this peace more. Sooner or later i ll be missing him more. But i have made a firm decision that i ll only talk to him when he will actually value me and my needs.
So suming up all, give her her time alone and wait for her to miss you. Till then work on yourself more and more and strike the iron when its hot. That is show your changes when she is terribly missing you.
But for now, follow the plan.
February 22, 2015 at 7:06 am #32399
Gingerone
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- Total Posts: 463
Thanks for your advice. It’s always good to have another opinion on it. All I want is to win her heart back. I know it will be a long road.
February 22, 2015 at 7:50 am #32409
Jin
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It’s a strange one.
February 22, 2015 at 7:54 am #32411
Jin
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- Total Posts: 6
It’s a strange one. She obviously loves you.
Similar in a sense to my story, as in despite her feelings for you she still wants out.
Women make strange decisions.
Sometimes I feel they get scared as they’ll analyse the future too much.
Changing yourself for better is always good, but my question is will she see these changes?
And how do you show her?
February 22, 2015 at 8:12 am #32417
kaila
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We are kind of in the same situation.

For me if I want to show him I need to keep giving what he needs. And if that is time and space so be it. It’s gonna be his birthday coming soon and I will give him a really nice gift I know he will love. And a card. I am thinking of easing him because he is affraid of things going back to where they were. And also using some of the letter techniques in the article.

But don’t change just for her. Change if you think it’s gonna be good for you in the future
February 22, 2015 at 8:14 am #32418
Gingerone
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- Total Posts: 463
After I do my 30+ days of no contact I plan to send her a hand written note.

Here’s an early draft of it

Here's my letter! What do u think?

Then hopefully we can start to reconnect as friends then hopefully more
February 22, 2015 at 8:31 am #32422
kaila
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- Total Posts: 711
I think it’s a good one. I will later write a draft of what I am thinking of writing in the card as well.

It really depends on who they are I think. If she is very sensitive and emotional maybe focusing more on the good times a bit more. Or maybe if she is the rational type, enfasizing the changes you made in your life is a good bet.

Can you read the last thing I posted on my thread? I don’t thin you need to read the whole thread
February 22, 2015 at 8:34 am #32424
Gingerone
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- Total Posts: 463
Ye she is a very emotional girl, but that’s one of the reasons I love her. I miss her so much but I’m trying to put a brave face on it! I’ve replied on your post let me know and I will try my best to help you.
February 22, 2015 at 8:42 am #32427
kaila
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- Total Posts: 711
RustyRed the last thing I posted is about our meetup yesterday. I know it’s so hard. Yesterday we went to the movies. There were kissing scenes it was so hard my heart was racing 🙁
February 22, 2015 at 12:46 pm #32493
LAgirl
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- Total Posts: 13
What did you guys argue about mainly? Is there something there that needs to change?

Working on yourself is great, and valuable. It’s also good to think about what needs to change within the relationship – She may be impressed if you are looking hot, but if the same old arguments keep cropping up, it won’t mean much…
February 22, 2015 at 12:58 pm #32498
LAgirl
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- Total Posts: 13
I think your letter is great! My only comment would be maybe you shouldn’t put “all my love”.. it jars with the lightheartedness of the rest of the letter. But I’m not an expert, so whatever you think!
February 22, 2015 at 1:53 pm #32519
Gingerone
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- Total Posts: 463
All petty things really like who’s cleaning most stupid things that just escalated. We were really happy but I’m worried she’ll only remember that bad times ! I know there’s a small chance I can win her back. I just need her to see that I will/have changed. But for now I’m doing no contact and giving her space she wanted. I hope she misses me
February 22, 2015 at 1:54 pm #32520
Gingerone
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- Total Posts: 463
Thanks by the way it helps to get things off my chest
February 22, 2015 at 2:43 pm #32536
LAgirl
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- Total Posts: 13
That’s OK, I know how it helps, even to talk to strangers!

Hmm… If she left because of arguments, and those arguments were petty… That makes me think
1) it actually wasnt because of the arguments, it was something else.
Or
2) the arguments may have seemed petty, but were actually just a symptom of a much bigger underlying problem.
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