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I went out on a date today. It wasn’t someone I was really that attracted to, but I made an effort and had great conversations over a couple of drinks. Even though I’m not physically ready for anyone else, but I didn’t think about my ex once during the date.
So, that’s good, right?
Hoping to get some sleep tonight…starting the master cleanse tomorrow for ten days.
Hope he’s well…
Day #10 of second round of nc:
I went on a date last night with a guy I met from okc. There was no connection there but it was nice to go out and talk to someone else. I’m meeting with another guy today, who seems like fun…so I’m just gonna go out and have a good time.
Also, starting the diet today.
Not missing him as much today. It’s still there, but not so pronounced like other days. I know I won’t stop loving him for a while, just have to learn to live with it.
Hope he misses me. Hope he realizes that he made a mistake and come begging for me to take him back. Only then, will this pain be worth it.
Good for you. Yes it is gonna take some time. There is not gonna be any connection on your dates for a while. But dont worry. That is not the point of the dates, so dont set your mind up for it.
The point of them is to get out there and get a life again…Thanks Creed. The date was actually quite fun. The guy was funny, we talked and played Ping-Pong and laughed!
I broke NC today though, but for a good reason…I needed my things back that I left at his house. I think I mentioned it before that I didn’t ask for my things back. Well, I just sent him a text asking for him to mail my things back and gave him my address. And also, told him that I’ll mail his key back as well.
I think I would just like to be finished with all our transactions. Whatever changes he needs to go through before I can accept him (and if I accept him in the future) will take a really long time and I don’t want to have this thing hanging over my head anymore.
Facebook deleted, all pictures deleted, all texts/voicemails deleted, and I don’t really have anything of his that he wants either. So, after I get my things back, I will have no reason to contact him anymore. I left the text close ended, no questions, just a statement so he really has no reason to text me back either.
I am doing this for me (I hope, and not out of desperation to hear from him). He might get angry from this text, and sad because this is in fact the end of our journey this time around. I think I can handle the closure now. I need the closure.
Ok, so we’ve been texting back and forth a bit and I told him I was doing great. He said he’s still hurt. I told him that he did the right thing by breaking it off because I wasnt getting the attention and love I deserved. It made him feel better that I said that. I just tried to act independent and happy.
And then I told him how I felt bad and pretended to have orgasms (we had a great sex life) and he seemed to be really bothered by it.
Anyway, what do you think I should do? He wants to be friends and be in my life.
Hey TravelBug, how come you told him you used to fake orgasms ? I’m not sure what the context was but I’m sure that might have been quite upsetting to hear. I know men prefer it if women are honest and that they don’t have an orgasm they just don’t do anything.
I am in the same predicament with this “friends” situation. I honestly have no idea how we’re supposed to be friends. Like everyone says you can’t just be friends with you ex. i’m starting to see where they;re coming from because I am still so in love with my ex! I think if you’re strong enough to be his friend and accept that that’s all you may ever be and then watch him move on potentially then I guess you can.Though we’re all on this website for the same reason right ! To get them back so the friends thing I’m not sure on. I’m in quite a tough spot myself regarding whether I should be friends with my ex because its killing me and I’m not sure if I can just be his friend.
how did it go with getting your stuff back? im in a similar situation were my ex has stuff of mine but i gave all hers back. i asked about it when i broke no contact at the beginning of the week and she said her mum would drop it round to me. i asked her to let me know whats going on with it as i need a few things.
i could live without them but it makes things a little harder for me and a small part of me thinks because i told her i needed stuff that she wont give them back.. soon.
should i break no contact and ask about my stuff? or message her mum (i think shed get pissed at that, maybe, depends whats said i guess but i wouldnt tell her mum anything she doesnt already know (dont know what she knows)) or just leave it be, see if she messages me about it?
Well I went on a couple of dates and felt very strong and we were texting to help with closure as I asked for my things back. I was really bothered by the fact that I faked orgasms (it was to make him feel confident as he has performance anxiety) but I wanted to get it out of my chest because we were being honest and telling each other what went wrong. It´s mainly to make myself feel better, maybe give him a little pain too. I don’t know why but it felt good. I feel like I have nothing to lose anymore…
I am going to continue to date. Maybe have an affair, it might make things better. But, I think I’m giving up on hope for now…
I can’t have him back now. He told me again today that he wasn’t ready. I need to move on because he’s going to need a lot of therapy to get past his previous ten year relationship.
I am ready to not have any reason to contact him again. That’s why I asked for it back. He said he’ll send it. I think he will.
If you really want it back, get it back.
Oh ok I get you that makes a bit more sense now but must have been hard for him to hear that. Men are so sensitive when it comes to sex related topics haha.
Thats a real shame to hear you guys aren’t going to get back together at least not for quite a while! But at least he’s acknowledged he needs help to get his life in order and work some of his problems out. I wish my ex would do the same. He has a few problems and struggles in the communication department yet he blames just me and only me for all the issues.
Do you feel you’re ready to date? How long is it since you’ve been broken up ? I don’t feel ready at all. Went on one date as I’m sure you’ve read and got slammed for it even though it wasn’t even a date. But its been almost 2 months for me and I still feel in the same spot 🙁
Yeah, I’m ready to go on dates just to have fun. Nothing physical. Just easy fun. I’ve been on two dates so far. It hasn’t been a month yet. But I think I’m more practical. I can’t be with a broken person who can’t love me whole-heartedly. He’s not the one for me right now, so I have to move on. I’m also 32 so I’ve had my share of breakups. Doesnt make it easy and I’ll love him for a really long time, but life goes on…right?
About the orgasm thing, I’d like to hear from a guy. He said that I shouldn’t have done that and that it could have helped us grow. He said he’ll get back to me after work.
It does indeed. I’m sure you having some clarity and understanding from you ex makes it a bit easier. You know you both won’t be together and you’re being strong about it. And you still have plenty of time if you’re 32 ! The feeling of love is wonderful but when its gone it leaves you in a worse off position I feel. It appears your ex has given you the definitive answer that you both can’t and won’t be together now and for quite a long time and I’m sure that helps a lot, but its that pesky feeling of hope right haha.
I would also love you opinion on my latest post. Feeling really down and out today and just wish I didn’t have feelings of hope or love anymore.
yeah i believe it would be a big killer to be told that you didnt please your partner in bed.. if he had performance anxiety it probably did no help for it. i understand you wanting to be honest, i was like that with my ex. told her things i probably shouldnt have but she knows that everyone is going to think things that their partner doesnt like, no matter how much you love each other. and she knows if they dont tell her things like that, theyre probably lying. guess its a good way to gauge how truthful someone is to you but i wish she didnt ask the questions she did. it made it hard for both of us.
@Travelbug It sounds like you are on your way to moving on in a healthy way. I do think the orgasm information might have been hurtful. I know it does feel good to hurt someone who hurt you.
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