No Contact Annoymous – Share your struggles with keeping NC

Julia,

Yes my feelings for her a dead but there’s time when they try to comeback to life.

Be strong and don’t forget that you’re doing this for yourself too. You owe it to yourself to let go and continue with your life. You’ve been through a lot and you deserve to be happy and have a good mental health overall.

It’s hard yes. But time will heal everything I promise.

Day 1 of NC after making contact to write my ex a letter. She was under the impression I was just being spiteful when initiating NC. I had to set the record straight, and on top of that I wrote about how I felt. It wasn’t needy. It was confident..and I didn’t mind starting over with NC. It was worth it.

However, she thanked me and what not for the message and said she had more to say.. I didn’t respond to her reply and I think I pissed her off. She changed some things on her social networks to where I am blocked off completely. She was fine with all of that before. Now NC is going to be tougher because I know I will read into why she did that. Is it because of another girl? What is she hiding? Is she mad at me and being spiteful? It will leave me guessing for a good few days.

It’s so ridiculous. Everything bad or good that happens every day, I catch myself reaching for my phone to tell her about it. Even during NC when doing a relatively great job on discovering things about myself, I find myself getting interesting information and wanting to let her know. If I get tackled hard in rugby, the first thought I have is, “I can’t wait to get a massage!” ..then I remember we aren’t together anymore. And I almost cry. That pain of not having that once, very significant connection, is more painful than any hit by an amazon woman could ever be.

Been getting slammed with so much alternative approaches to NC, and I am wondering if I am choosing the correct path. Based on her personality, I don’t know if the could shoulder deal is the right way to go. Then on the flip side of that, I’m not 100% sure that we’re able to get back together. Or if I want to. .

Damn it, this sucks. I never imagined I’d be dealing with a breakup and one with such a f*** up ending. She turned into someone I can’t recognize.

Julia

Thank you.you really help me. I donno how I should start, besides , strange things happen to me every day and they’re all holding me back. Like I just saw his best friend in front of a hospital when I was visiting someone. But it was not during visiting hours. It was late at night. Now I’m afraid he might think that I was hanging around the hospital(the best friend live in a building near there)so I may see him or his friend. Although I said a simple hi to the guy and told him that my friend is here and I had to give her something.then I said I have to go and I asked him to not to tell my ex that he saw me. When he asked why,I said cause I know he does not wanna hear from me and I myself don’t want him to hear from me either. He was a bit shocked to see me and I don’t know if it’s me but I felt like he was afraid I might ask him sth about my ex. Like he knows something’s that might get me upset. Maybe my ex is dating someone from this new circle of friends. When you have 10 years of baggage with someone, it’s very hard to move on. Everything is holding me back. It’s like the NC is broken again cause I saw his friend and even though is told him not to, but there’s a good chance that he will. I feel like I should move to another city to avoid everything and everyone from his circle. But it’s not possible right now. Plus the thought of moving on really scares me I donno why????!!!!i still can’t believe how my ex could do this after all his support and promises and his deep love for me. I know he has moved on already but I don’t know how to accept that.

Hey you guys,

So today, after 47 days of no contact I officially gave up on him by sending him ‘the letter’ (email actually). I am not expecting a response. I know he wont do it! I felt I needed some kind of a closure. I mostly referred to all the hurtful things he said during our break up. But also to some of his actions during our relationship that hurt me so much. I also wrote how much I felt that he didn’t love me at all. He was just in love and the minute that feeling vanished he left. I must say I was a bit harsh but only cause I wanted badly to erase the image of me telling him at the beginning of our breakup that I will wait for him no matter what. I think I officially closed the door of any reconciliation.
If anything happens, then it should be all him. I am done.
I am still hurt and I know I will have to struggle. But at least now he knows.

Not needless endless lol

SuzyL,

Thanks! I have a feeling though he could be mad about what I wrote but I shouldn’t care right?

Julia,

If he gets mad, what’s the risk? Him not speak to you? Break up with you?

You said what you had to say. In my “give up letter” I apologized for my contribution to the problems. I explained that it wasn’t just one persons fault. I did touch on what my ex did and said that has hurt me, but I did it in a way that didn’t scream “I’m bitter as hell, F*** YOU!” lol

Did you just lay into him, or was it more like you said what you needed to say in a constructive way? Either way, you did what you felt you needed to. And if you’ve realized you’re done, then it doesn’t matter how he chooses to look at it. <3

Eh, let it out! lol If you felt like you needed to stick up for yourself, then that’s what you should’ve done. Especially if you were firm on giving up. And it was a good choice not bringing up his new ‘relationship’. It wouldn’t really be the root reason why you sent the message and it would make you seem jealous and petty. Making it about his wrong doings and not just yours, well, that’s more legit.