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Posts
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Non of us knows what the future holds!
Little did I know D would ever come back on the scene. Non Of that matters and it’s something we cant hold onto because it stops us living our lives.I know exactly how you feel, I know the pain and torment you’re experiencing right now and it’s not going to disappear over night. You will get over this set back though, as that’s all it is, a set back.
Give yourself a few days to cry this out. Cry lots to get rid of the emotions and then start rebuilding. 5 mins a day of time out, no thinking of him. Start by watching Byron Katie on you tube. Gets some ideas of how to move forward.
Treat this a technique you will carry on through life with yourself. There will be more times to come that will require huge inner strength to overcome hurdles in life.
You still don’t know if your ex will come back or not, that is the unknown so try all you can not to focus on that but focus on this huge feat you have to accomplish for your own personal growth.@belle, thank you for understanding. i need to give myself a week or two to process this information and get beyond this setback. i have been crying nonstop and i think boring my friends to tears talking about all of these crazy emotions! i am lucky to have such a great support system though. and i have a date tonight that i need to go in with with an open mind. I’m going to watch byron katie right now. i think overall this is going to be a really good growing and learning experience for me even though its so hard right now. i keep telling myself regardless of the outcome, a year from now i will be happy and ok.
youre right i truly have no idea – he has no idea either and doesnt seem stressed about that at all. he has no more idea than he had on night 1 of the break up. i need to focus on my own life and thought process and not on his – it is now irrelevant.
if in the end he doesnt come back to me, i will be an idiot for sitting here and waiting for him and even if he does come back, if i do nothing but sit here and wait for him the relationship will probably fail again. i need to move on with life and be happy and prepare myself for my next relationship whether it be with him or someone else.@aphrodite, I just started reading this book me before we and I thought of you. It’s written by a woman who was in a relationship for 15 years from 15-30, only to be dumped on the night of her engagement party. She reflects back on how codependent Her relationship was and writes about her own path to self discovery and how she shortly after met her husband. So far so good! It reminded me of you. Im doing my best today to shred the ounce of hope I have left. It needs to go. I need to start only worrying about and thinking about and focusing on me and just be open to whoever enters my life. Hope you’re all feeling well today!
So I came to the conclusion that No Contact is my only chance of getting my EX back. Just a brief saying of my situation we have been broken up since last October and have been off and on(Dated for 3 years before breakup). She had a boyfriend like a month ago but it seems all he wanted was one thing (which was sex im guessing) as he was 28 and she is 18 years old. Anyways we have a 2 year old daughter together and just the other day she wanted to be my valentine. Now today she woke up in a bad mood and I asked her is everything still on for valentines and she said she doesn’t think its a good idea because that’s something couples do and she told me she still doesn’t see me as her boyfriend anytime soon. I’m improving on myself everyday and she said she can see but RIGHT NOW she still doesnt see me as her boyfriend anytime soon. We kind of argued after that and she basically said if you keep talking then things will get worse.
So my question is what do I do from here? One day shes all lovey dovey and the next day she’s a completely different person and I’ve been nice and helping her out with everything. I even got her stuff from the mall and she loved it but I still dont see a differance i think this is my chance to go No Contact
Any Help?
@teamhordan12
you do no contact so she can figure out what she wants…..although that might be difficult with the child involved. You should only speak about the child…and leave it be on where the relationship is right now.
what was the cause for the break up
Trust issues was the biggest problem to our breakup like hanging out with the wrong crowd (which I don’t do anymore) and smoking (which I quit about 2 weeks ago)
The thing is that she said she will give me a chance to prove her wrong that’s kinda why I don’t want to go to no contact and I know for sure right now I’m the only guy she talks to. Of course it will take time for her to start trusting me so what do you think? I know things I can do to prove her wrong like taking a drug test and just improving my evryday life . So what do you think?
But at the same time I’ve never done no contact and I feel like that’s the best way for me not to just get her back, to to live life happy even if it’s without her
*but to live life happy without her. It’s so hard doing no contact with a child with her what if she calling about our child? She told me deep down inside locked in her heart she feels something for me but she won’t ever tell me her true feelings. She doesn’t want to get hurt again n I kno she won’t as the way I am now n I’ve learned from all my mistakes. Just have to show her that I’m a new man but the past will stick to her UNLESS I do some sort of no contact
Been thinking about it and I think the best thing for me to do is to do Limited Contact(because we have a child) for now and see how it goes. If I don’t i feel our relationship will stay the same and eventually she will find someone else so I’m just going to stay in Limited to No Contact unless about the child.
So in limited contact if she text me for example saying “Goodmorning how are you” I shouldn’t text back at all? Only if it’s about our child? Because every morning she text me first saying goodmorning and how I’m doing etc. I won’t bring up anything about hanging out or going to the movies I understand that part but what if she brings it up? Not saying she will bring it up but she might randomly one day ask to go to the movies or something like that.
Any ideas of how to take this would be great And thANKS
i personally would respond but make it short and just say “good”
and leave it at that…she’ll take the hint after a while.Well, I reached out to say hello. I havnt heard from her back and it’s been like a half hour. My intention was to see if she wanted to grab lunch or dinner this weekend and then I could express what I want to her. It’s been like a half hour and I havnt got a response which is very unusual for her I guess. She would always respond pretty fast. i have a weird feeling about something and usually never do. Being a Thursday night and texting her somewhat late and not getting respond is weird. I know I shouldn’t rush to conclusions.
I just really want to get my last answer from her because it’s been so long now and it’s really do or die.
Mike, methinks you should probably just wait for an answer. Expecting one so soon and considering how late it is, you might as well wait until morning.
@altea1234 Glad to hear it! I’m really pleased you’ve grown so much since I’ve last seen you on the forums (wow, it’s been that long? I’ve been just busy!). Keep an open mind and remember there’s all these opportunities for you to grasp for!
@mike2014 Did you just text a hello or did you pose a question or anything like that? If it was late, she might just assume you were drunk texting or something and chose to ignore it. I’m sure she wouldn’t say no to a proposal to catch up?
How is everyone today?
I definitely think it makes sense that you have been criticised your whole life as an athlete, and that you would be quite hard on yourself and judge yourself quite a lot. Iâm very happy that youâre open and honest about everything here though and that youâre trying to have more of a positive outlook on things:) I also appreciate that youâre blunt without sugar coating, you do come across very honest and I think thatâs an amazing quality!
Has your ex answered you yet? Donât worry if she hasnât. We have a tendency to blow things up and it doesnât have to mean a thing.
@atea1234
I know youâre going through a personal hell, but you know what? I think youâre doing really well in spite of it! This is definitely a time to cry and process – and you W I L L get past this! this truly is temporary! I really feel for you so much, and my heart goes out to you. I know that one day I will probably have to face what youâre doing now – and Iâm dreading it so much. I can’t imagine what itâs like and all the thoughts would just drive me completely nuts.
In a way, youâre lucky that this happened so soon, because once you have adapted to this situation you will truly be able to progress and grow!! You will be able to tackle so much more, and so many issues will seem like a piece of pie in comparison to this! Go atea!!! You will master this challenge life has thrown you, and come out the other end thriving!!!Thank you so much for the book recommendation, Iâm gonna read the sample and see if I want to buy it:) I probably will haha⊠If this boy only knew how much Iâve spent on this break up.
I feel so stupid. My ex works close to where do and the past couple of days Ive been taking walks in the area around lunchtime, hoping to.. run into him I guess? Although I dont really want to see him or even know what I would say to him if I did. Its more like I want to get it over with (seeing him again) under my conditions and not when Im totally caught off guard maybe? But I know its pointless and I end up feeling weak and sad and stupid. đ
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