Is it over or is he freaking out?

@dopierk is right and i think anybody who has been through it knows, it feels good at the start, but it only gets worse as bad feelings and memories arise and you could be locking him into the “oh yeah i remember why i broke up with her, nvm I’m fine” mode and thats hard to come back from, and it makes the no contact period even longer after you make that mistake.

its VERY hard to go cold turkey though and not say anything and feel like you want to message him and explain yourself on why you are doing what you are doing, but putting him at peace does nothing for the results you are hoping you receive

Oh yeah, that as in not answering his call and going cold turkey on him. Its the best way, because it isn’t on his terms and you are doing it for you. When he realizes that you aren’t focused on what he wants anymore his chase begins

My ex and I had a lot of problems, that majority was not on purpose and bad timing. For me i was emotional and got out of a relationship right before her. In about 2 years us switching relationships with other people we was never just single and available for each other. But even when i was with someone else or she was, i was EXTREMELY attracted to her, and the most time i was attracted to her was when she wasn’t making herself available to me, it made me chase really hard. So when we finally got together or her relationship ended with a guy, and mine ended with a girl she virtually threw herself at me. (no fault of her , its what she wanted and couldn’t help it) but even though I loved her so much, i was not attracted like i used to, we made it all about me (because i was the one fresh off a relationship) and basically there was no chase, i was handed all the benefits without having to make serious decisions on how i wanted her in my life. Now that she took that away I’m back chasing in a way, i started doing all the sweet things and passion i should have already done.

Point of that story is, No matter how much i loved her, i still couldn’t appreciate her because i was emotional, and she was making it okay for me to be that way by making herself overly available. He still loves you, but if he see you getting that independence from him he will chase, if he thinks you will always be there he will be complacent

Ras217, as you know our situations are very similar. Exes going through job trouble.

The first two weeks of our break up, I didn’t now what no contact was. When we broke up we decided to be friends, bad idea immediately after a breakup. But I also let him string me along. He said he needed time to sort out his feelings. So for a week I didn’t initiate anything but he kept sending me messages “I need more time, I know you must be suffering, I know how hard this is for you” etc etc. we talk that following weekend he tells me “he can’t be in a relationship but can’t lose me in his life” I start pushing for us to hang out and we get in this stupid horrible fight that last two hours. The next day he doesn’t talk to me and I go crazy texting him and finally we talk that night, we decide to be friends again. Long story short, we hang out through the first month, he treats me like his girlfriend but I’m not his girlfriend. I have him all the benefits of a relationship without being in a relationship. He shows hot and cold behavior throughout and eventually blows me off after the last time we hung out. You don’t want an on and off situation to happen. You don’t want a FWB situation to happen.

Is there someone else that can help you with the dog situation? I really think you should cease all contact…

I did the same thing @dopierk is explaining. It really hurt my ex feelings being in that position but i didn’t realize how much it sucks to be there.

It doesn’t seem like you to start ignoring him but its A GOOD THING, he broke up with you, if you give him what he used to he will give you what he has always given you.

Also you have to work out the stuff with your dog on your own. My ex has a son, and that was always her way of getting me back involved emotionally when i was doing great with no contact. No telling how long the situation will go on with the dog, and you will keep making the excuses to be involved, because working with the dog gives you that “in a relationship” feeling form the past without being in it.

Its a tough road ahead, the no contact is painful but once again you have to step outside of natural urges and comfort for the long term results, and i think he is in a great position for you to grow is attraction again, you haven’t gone too far and it is never too late to start.

for example, i had to accept the relationship was over with my ex. Then she would text me out the blue ” (my son) was asking for you today” because i wasn’t responding to anything else, she hit me with something we still had in common.For me it was her son but For you its the dog. Thats his mutual in right now, you can’t give it to him