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I definitely need to let my expectations go. Idk…. it seems like sometimes I value the relationship more than he does. Wouldn’t you want to see and spend time with the person you’re dating? Lately he “just wants to focus on work” during the week… it bugs me. Wouldn’t he want to take a break to see the “woman he loves?”
Dumb!
Well you have to talk eventually about that, for months I had to leave my Gf Monday-Thursday most weeks to work and spend time on weekend which we also worked together. I didn’t think she thought too much or it effected her to much because she never said that, I was focused on our future and building something of a career to take care of her and the kid so maybe he is thinking abou you
Likely not the best time to bring it up but give it some thought before voicing the concern if you need to
I haven’t said those exact words but when I ask if he’s always just gonna stay at home M-F every week… he said “work is going really week and I need to strike while the iron is hot”. Idk… I feel he doesn’t even want to see me. I’ve gotten him gifts for Christmas and bday. He got me flowers for Xmas, which is fine but jokes about doing it for my birthday. I just feel I’m giving him more than he’s giving me sometimes. The reason we got back together the second time is cause he told me he values me, I’m 100% supportive, and he knows we have a good thing. Now I feel he doesn’t feel that way whatsoever cause he’s not so “lovey dovey” during his work mode.
Maybe I’m being sensitive and moody. But right now I don’t feel valued or loved.
You should feel the way you feel, it just sounds like the lovey stuffy isn’t his focus right now but may be a phase. How long you are willing to wait it out kind of depends. If you feel like you can’t take it off your mind or view it different you have to talk about it with him and let him know that. You might be scared he will want to break it off but if y’all wanna stay together you have to let him know he is kind of going back in his word in a way.
But I say give it a few weeks and kind of focus on yourself and what you have going on. You may be putting too much energy and dependence on him again. Like I said it’s completely understandable but you might have to
Wait it out and give him space for a bit without mentioning it’s bothering you and see if changes, if not I suggest talking about it again.I’m really sorry I didn’t get a chance to reply. How are things Ras? Better?
How are you mosis?
I’m in a pickle and I could use your help. My ex and I started talking and we have hung out three weekends in a row now. I also found out he has skin cancer and had to have surgery next week and start some therapy. This week he sent me a booty call text at 1 am Monday and called me. I declined.
I haven’t heard from him since. What do I do?
I’m doing fine, my ex and I start working together again next week, which she has a lot of mixed feelings about, and we ran into each other while i was talking to managers and she seemed a bit frustrated and her boyfriend right now doesn’t like it either, not really too worried about it or the past at this point. not looking to get back together, isnt my main focus.
prolly just wait it out and act like it didn’t happen. have you hit him up since ?
whats the hangouts been like on the weekends? like conversation and activity wise
I haven’t hit him up since Monday when I replied to his booty call text and said no. Should I say something? He has surgery next Tuesday for his skin cancer.
We’ve just been hanging out, getting drinks, talking, etc. we have been intimate.
It’s been like normal conversation between us. We do a lot of flirty banter and joking around. Catching up on the last four months etc.
eel doesn’t really seem that big a deal to me, is this the first time you have said no to him? i don’t see the harm in hitting him up though to see whats up with him. Sounds like y’all left it at a dead kind of point after the no.
Yea this was the first time I said no. I was just like “Sorry I can’t tonight, I have to get up early for an audition. Rain Check?”
And he hasn’t said anything in response, I think it was a drunk text and maybe he’s a little embarrassed.
Hey hey. Things are okay. I go through good times and okay times. I’m try VERY hard not to get offended when he’s in the zone. Seems to be Monday – Thursday he is strictly focused on work. He said he likes to be alone when he’s in the zone. A this typical guy behavior? Should I take it personal? The weekends we are fine but then it’s like he’s a totally different person during the week.
Dopierk – that’s great you’re in contact with him! Have the convos been anything like “I miss you”? Also have you said you’re not looking for friends with benefits? Just curious. He could definitely be embarrassed. Maybe txt him tomorrow during the day if he doesn’t get in touch with you.
@Ras217 I think it’s a bit extreme his behavior but it is nature for most guys who are trying to grow a career. It’s odd that he would be completely tuned out though without feeling the need to make up for it or time for you more at the end of the day.
What’s your interactions like Monday- Thursday ?
I mean…… we talk at the end of the day every day. He calls me usually. And he called tonight… Also the weekends he’s pretty much present with me. Just sometimes I feel triggered and get in my head and think the worst. Must stop!
Yeah in that case i wouldn’t take it too personal, its a bit extreme but understandable. Its hard to work sometimes and feel like you have to entertain someone also during that time. To me its him trying to be responsible, not taking away from you just if you understand he has to work and he communicates that with you that its just easier to focus without offending you by saying he has to stay off the phone etc i think its fine. Likely a phase, and if you get more serious and move in together one day it won’t feel the way it feels now. If he still talks to you at the end of the day i think its tolerable. It would be even better if he randomly surprised you and came to see you during the week, not all guys are into that thing though.
All in all, i wouldn’t take offense, he is working on a career it seems and focused but he isnt putting you on a complete back burner, doesn’t sound too bad 🙂 I’m sure he hasn’t learned the balance yet
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