Desperatly need some advice and help!

I just don´t know if he cares about me. He has a t-shirt here, and he probably wants to pick that up. When he has contacted me I have been polite and careless, not talked about anything that has to do with us. I am freaking a bit out tonight that I won’t hear from him again and that he is just gone.

Do you think me texting him on friday night was a stupid move? The convo went like this: Ia sked if he had been here. He said: yeas, I dropped by after I had been at (friends name) place. Where wore you? I: at a friends house nearby, why didn´t you call or text to see if I was home? He: I was out of power:) So I just went home, in bed now:) I: Okay, I understand, hope I didn´t wake you. He: No you didn´t wake me, I am in bed, but I am not falling a sleep yet:) I: that´s good to hear, thought you might be out on the town. He: No, not tonight, have to get up early to se (son´s name) play soccer tomorrow. I: Right, forgot that, that sounds like fun:) He: yeah it´s always fun to see him play:) Me: I agree, well have fun then and enjoy at (mates house) tomorrow night. (He had told me that him and his mates where going to have beer and pork at a one of his mates house this saturday). He: Yeak it´s always fun to see him play:)I am not sure if I am going to (friends house) as it´s a bit stressful to get up there and to come back home again, and as you know I don´t care so much for pork. Me: That´s true, but it will probably be fun. (this is the text I think i may have given to much away)There is always someone that is driving. I´m not sure if I am going out or not yet, I might be driving if I am not. He: Yeah it will definitely be fun hanging out with the guys but pork is just not good hehe:) That is good to know:) Me: Well you just have to eat before you get there then, pork is awful I agree, fondue with friends for me tomorrow. There is always someone that can drive. He: Yep, pork is bad, hehe:) Fondue is good though:) Yeah but not everyone wants to take time driving up to (name of the place where he´s mate lives). Me: Fondue will be nice, true that, but it´s not that far. He: Yeah that is definitely true hehe:) And then I responded with a smiley to end it. I just felt I gave to much away in one of the text there, like I wanted to meet him and offered him a lift. That was not my idea. I saw one of his mates was asking on facebook yesterday if there was anybody who could drive my ex from where they were at and home.

Do you think this screwed things up? I have tried to stay out of touch as much as I can. And friday night I was a little bit flattered that he had shown up at my door again, so I was trying not to be flirty, but I think I was a bit flirty anyway.

We have a lot of history together, I have written about it the begging of this thread and this thread: https://ebpforums.com/boards/topic/what-if-he-never-wants-me-back/

Yeah, he blew up over nothing two weeks ago, he was drunk and mad and took his frustration out on me and ended it. He is struggling mentally with depression after going through cancer. It´s a long story. He was flirty in the text I got on tuesday night as well, but I don´t know if he´s flirty or friendly. I contacted him last friday, almost a week after the break to sort some things out. I had spoken to him monday the same week, he called me, and we talked a bit about what happened when he blew up and then he started talking like nothing has happened and talked about things we usually talk about. When I called that friday, he was irritated, and he got angry. The conversation went downhill, i tried to stay as calm as I could. A few hours later he called me back and he was in a better mood and I made an effort not talk about us. So we talked about things we usually talk about. After we hung up I got a text from him saying that he was of course sad as well, it´s hard. But he needed to be for himself, he couldn´t have any drama around him (he was the one making drama blowing up like that – but feels the need to blame me). Wishing me nothing but the best and so on. I responded that I appreciate the text and that I understand he needs time to work on things in his life. I told him some other nice things, that I cared about him and wish him the best as well.

I thought that text was the end. But last sunday he showed up here, I was not home, so he called me. He asked where I was, I was out with my daughter picking up take away, so we talked for about 15 minutes. I asked if went to my house to get his stuff (the t-shirt), he said: something like that.

And then on tuesday night when I was driving home late from a friends house I meet him on the road I didn´t notice him, but he had notice me, and sent me a text about one of my frontlights didn´t work. I know he knows that my forntlight has not been working for quite some time now, so it felt like an excuse to text me. I texted back 20 minutes later asking if he had meet me somewhere, and then we texed a bit, he was very curious to where I had been, with whom and why I had the time off my daughter on a tuesday night. He was a bit flirty then. And this friday he had shown up here again, but this time he didn´t call or text, and he probably wouldn´t have told me he was here if I didn´t texted him and asked him. My neighbour had seen him, and she said he had seen that she saw him as well.

I don´t know what to think. We went through his cancer together, so we have much history together. There is more info in the threads. Long story. My ex is a charmer, he´s a person it´s easy to fall for. So that is why I am so scared he already has another girl in his hand.

Did see him from a distance today, he looked okay.

It just looked like he is so much happier without me in his life. I don’t know what to do. Having a really bad day. Wish I would hear from him.

Is there anyone there? I contacted my ex. I know I should not have. This is the second time I have contacted him. He has mostly contacted me. He called me up and I think we talked on the phone for 30 minutes. We did not talk about us, just everything else. We laughed and stuff like that. It seemed like he was really glad to hear from me. But at the same time there was something strange in the conversation during the talk as well, like an elephant in the room. He kept saying he has dropped by my house to pick up his t-shirt. He was nervously laughing a couple of times. I was polite and sounded happy. We made some jokes as well. I made my life seem very interesting and exciting as I have some exciting plans coming up with friends. I have gotten some new friends and he is a bit curious about that. I don’t know if this was a stupid move. We have always talked a lot on the phone, since the first time we meet. We talked for 7 hours straight one time in the beginning of our relationship. I will not contact him after this and see what happens. What do you think @patrick d ? Have I screwed it up big time?

I know it was stupid, I just couldn’t help myself. Well if it ruined everything then it’s ruined. I am not as strong as you guys. I haven’t done nasty things to him or calling him several times a day and stuff like that. This is the second time I have contacted him, the last time was asking him if he had been here on Friday. I know what I did was stupid, I just had a really bad day and didn’t have anyone to talk to. My feelings went overboard. What should I do from now on Caz?

I guess its a good thing that I have not harassed him with phone calls and texts. As this is the second time I have contacted him since the break up. I have tried to stay in no contact, he´s the one showing up here and contacting me. I am so used o talking with him all the time, my feelings took over and fucked up my mind tonight. I don´t know how to stop obsessing. Some days I feel I am sure I can do this, others I am a total wreck. The biggest problem I have is that he has found someone else or is going to find someone else. It would be a lot easier to stay in no contact if I knew that´s not going to happen anytime soon.

I am taking your advice and will not contact him again. It´s been two weeks since the break up now. He was very unfair when he broke it off, he was drunk and lashing out, saying stupid thing, harsh things. I think he is a little embarassed about that.

I am just scared that I will never hear from him again. Is it possible that we will get back together at some point?

I am reading on this site people that have called up to 30 times a day, texting and gone really overboard. I haven´t done that.

i doubt he will show up here unannounced again, but if he do and I am home, what should I do?