Contacted ex.

@LAbound, can i ask your opinion on my most recent texts with my ex?! feeling very discouraged

i got drunk last night and texted him and asked him if he was scared that i am the one and we met too early on and he’s scared to commit at such a young age or scared that I’m not so he doesnt want to waste anymore time. he answered me saying that he thinks its a tough question to answer because its really all about timing and he feels a bit of both. he said he never feels any time spent together was wasted and it was incredible always being together but he felt he needed to break up because he needs to see if its possible with anyone else because if we stayed together all throughout and got married he would’ve always wondered what could have happened. i responded and said i understood but I’ve just felt very confused because i was kind of under the impression he just wanted a couple of months off from the relationship and not to seriously date anyone else and his response was that its tough to predict the future and put a time frame on things and that he could find himself in a relationship with someone else and hate it and realize how special ours was and that we need to base things on how we feel and not put any time constraints. i don’t know why but i feel like for some reason we just took 10 steps backwards

initially he told me he just wanted some time to be single with his friends but this made it seem like he really wants another serious relationship? maybe i read too much into it. I’m not sure. i did 30 days nc from the beginning of december until the beginning of january. they i reached out to say happy new year and to catch up on everything. he was very friendly and seemed happy to hear from me. then he texted me a week later to discuss some dumb celebrity gossip and again we texted and caught up. and then on monday night i texted him about our favorite tv show and we texted back and forth about it for the full two hours.

so it was nc for 30 days and its been lc since. i really need to stop initiating because when i do i end up getting more and more confused

i think maybe its best to try extended nc? every time we talk i feel like i go back to square one and i feel like he clearly isn’t read and needs more time. i think i should really try my best to hold nc indefinitely until he reaches out at one point

i think he is open to the idea of a false friendship – but its me who can’t handle it! i think i would need to stay in the false friendship for months because he definitely needs this time away and isn’t ready yet. ultimately i think i would end up resenting him for treating me like a friend for so long and talking to me while he’s dating other people. so for now I’m going to do my best to let go and move on. its the only option right now. if i somehow convinced him to come back, he would leave again. he needs this time away from me to confirm his feelings. i actually felt better in my first 30 days nc. my plan now is to go nc indefinitely and do my best to move on. I’m going to use loa and just try to focus on being happy. my birthday is 95 days away so at least i feel like thats a point ill get to hear from him and maybe ill get the chance to see if he’s feeling any differently then. but for now, its best to let go and move on. i need to stay in nc indefinitely as whenever i talk to him my emotions are all over the place. I’m not even sure why i was so impacted by his text yesterday – it didn’t really say anything he hasn’t already told me – that he wants to date around to see if our relationship really is the best thing. the only way to have a possible future is for him to do that now. if its meant to be, hell be bad when he’s ready but for now loa and moving forward and nc will help me with that. how are you doing?