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LAbound, your letter was amazing.
…and her letter was desperate!
You are right. You have to take this slow, and she needs to understand it. Whatever happens between you two, or may happen, will not be a 2nd round. It will be a new relationship. She needs to heal from all that shit happened, and reflect on herself. Whether you both move on or get together down the road will be the final answer to all of this.
An indefinite NC sounds right. I think you will know when to initiate conversation with her again, when she stops being needy, clingy. (Oh boy, does it sound delicious when you hear this for the other party?) She has growing up to do, and she can accomplish it only by herself. I wish the best for both of you.
Thanks Ghost. Your words are very much appreciated.
Her message was a little desperate, but I was pleased with it mainly because she really opened up and seems more genuine than ever before. Time will tell though.
It feels good knowing that she is opening her eyes finally. And yeah, it does feel good that the shoe is on the other foot. She asked me can I suggest any books or other material that helped with my self-discovery. I didn’t respond to it. Because she has to do it on her own. I can’t give her a lazy way out!I am back to doing NC. One day at a time, and just doing what I’ve been doing. Becoming stronger. I wish that for everyone on these boards: to be stronger and more aware of their worth. Don’t let the ex see you sweat.. unless it’s in a gym where you’ve been working on your new, sexy bodies. 😉 lol
No matter what happens, I’ll be happy.
Thanks again.thanks @LAbound. do you have any suggestions to help me to stop obsessing over him and this new girl? i know it dosnt realy change my situation much as i knew he would date eventually but I’m having a hard time keeping hope will also moving on. i just want to feel better. i was doing much better until i heard this news. i need to get back into loa and get out of this deep hole I’ve dug myself in
@atea1234, I know the feeling, my ex told me about her having another guy, they havent met so far (they are talking thru internet, playing games together). I know they will meet and well… Valentines soon, perfect time to meet. Im obsessing over it aswell, awful feeling. Hope you find a way to deal with it.
Brilliant @LAbound
Fantastic letter. Well done on your Transformation and the power that you now hold. You’re an inspriation to us allI have the same feelings too that my ex wont text me or call me or even miss me … i am in NC and soon it will be 3 weeks NC and nothing happened from her side.. the good thing of the breakup was .. i worked in my self i got great job am facing lots of problems with no worries … The only problem that i have ,, i lost 6 to 7km i am become thinner coz the breakup made me so upset and didnt eat for months … even if i do i just throw up … any help for that?
Atea,
My suggestion is to stop it when it begins. Get up and do something that really captures your attention. After a bit of time, you won’t be so concerned with what he is going. If you keep up with your goals and live a fruitful life, you’ll get past it even quicker.
Patrick,
Thank you for your kind words.Jean,
Eat small portions of healthy foods. Foods that will be gentle on your stomach. Eat small portions every couple of hours.@LAbound, what is going through your head now!? do you think you and your ex really will reconcile in the end?
This is what is going on in my head:
She has a pattern about her. This nice, looking forward to a future attitude of hers has happened twice before. Not really like this, which is why I think it is more genuine, but I feel like I need to stick to my plan of more NC for 6 months in order to give her room to grow. She needs to be by herself, and I hope she takes the opportunity to do that.
Her saying she bets money I will fall back in love, and how we will be friends at least is a red flag to me. She still believes that I will be there no matter what. Either that or she is just hopeful that her changes will cause me to fall back in love.It’s really too early to tell. She openly admits that she is still confused. It’s the same type of confusion as before where she wouldn’t come back to me, then came back, but left again.. and I do not plan on going through that again. It was the worst part. I have to keep focused on my life so I am as happy as can be for the rest of my days.
you are so logical about all of it. i agree she needs time to sort out her confusion. all of this relationship stuff has so much gray area! i feel so confused about the fate of my relationship. I’ve held onto so much hope these past 4 months – i was almost POSITIVE he would be back to me. but for some reason I’m starting to feel a switch now and i don’t think he will be back. i blocked his number today and I’m starting a very long nc journey and focusing on my healing. i hope his new gf makes him happy and i need to close this chapter. if it were to ever reopen it would need to be because he came to me. the ball is completely out of my court for now
@LAvound i had some but ever 2 hours sounds good … coz we just had dinner outside with friends and still the same effect … i will try what u have mentioned and see 🙂 Thanks
My ex wants to come see me next weekend. She said she will be “in state” and would like to see me. There’s no reason other than me that she’d come here.
I texted her back, saying, “****, I want you to understand that I do not hate you. I appreciate your existence very much. However, it is not the right tie to see each other. Keep the same mindset you had in your message about changing and bettering yourself. I should not be a focus for you.
She hasn’t responded. She’s at work, so that’s probably why.
I wasn’t going to respond, but I didn’t want her to come and then me refuse to show up.
I think that’s a really good call. It sounds like it’s still too soon to see each other. How long has it been since the last time you saw her?
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