-
Posts
-
Catherine8, forgive me. I haven’t read your story but what you’re describing sounds like a classic rebound. If it was me, I would find someone completely different to my ex as well because if there were any similarities it would remind me of her too much and I wouldn’t enjoy that thrill anymore. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if my ex (broke up about 2 weeks ago) is talking to someone right now and I would definitely assume that he will be everything I’m not.
Catherine, she sounds awful. She’s just a mean girl and she obviously bigs up her own self esteem by trying to make everyone else feel bad. She probably isn’t very confident and so uses other girls’ relationships to make herself feel better by making them jealous. Very childish and you’re better off ignoring her! Don’t look at her or spend any time worrying about her. It’ll make her lose interest if you act like you don’t care, I guarantee it.
I agree I’m glad I’m not in school! It sounds so so complex with all the social media out there now.
Thanks for the advice. Finding this forum has helped me out so much. If I never found this I would be probably done so much stuff wrong that I would have zero chances of being with my ex again.
I have a question for everyone though. Do you think it is better for your ex to see everything you’re doing on social media, or is it better to leave them wondering by not having them see anything?
I try not to think much about what type of guy my ex is dating, he can’t be me anyway. In her eyes at the moment, he’s certainly the best choice. The other two rebounds she’s had in the past they were different, especially physically, to be honest not that good looking if I have to be objective.
catherine8 I believe that no contact period means also not to inform your ex what’s going on in your life. If he knows what’s happening, he won’t get that curious. Try to silence as much as possible.
Carhetine8 that sounds horrible! However I do think she was probably doing that as she is insecure about your exs feelings towards her-which is probably why dhe showed you if that makes sense? It is horrible though 🙁
Fishingthesky I’ve just read your post – as a 23 yr old myself (my ex was 22/23 too) the thought of marriage and settling down at my age scared the living day lights out of me. If my ex had asked me, I would probably have said yes to an extremely long engagement and waited until I was 28. I’m not saying that is your circumstance-but she mAy be dropping you and picking you up because the thought of marriage at our age is a bit daunting-she loves you and wants to keep you, but maybe the whole “this is it thing” is scaring her.
At the same time, I don’t want her to be keeping you on the hook, incase something better (in her eyes) comes along.I have a different thing with social media- last time my ex and I broke up, he told me that he would look at my social media all the time, what I was doing, etc, and his work colleagues had to try and stop him! That’s why I’ve been putting quite a Few pics on really-as I know from last time he likes to look at them! Plus he hasn’t blocked me on anything yet (apart from I’ve blocked him on snapchat)
Soupy-yeah ice been ok. The social media thing was a bit horrid but I blocked him on snapchat. I spoke to his housemate and a good friend of mine and said I hadn’t heard from him but not going to try to speak to him and she said “yeah probably best….from what I’ve heard he’s super busy and has very iffy internet anyway” but that’s about all on the ex front really. I’ve been really really missing him-it’s his birthday Saturday and I was going to send a whatsapp like “happy birthday ??? ” (does that sounds okay?) I probably won’t get a reply, but at least it shows I’m still he kind person he loved and I’m not bitter.
If I’m honest I feel like him going travelling has kind of ruined any reconciliation for me. He’s been able to go off and stay busy and forget about me, And then he has 3 days at home and starts an intense training month where he again has no time to really think about me. I guess I just keep thinking that the “window” of him missing me has past :/
Hey amy111,
We’ve talked about a future together because we want the same things in life. Of course we weren’t going to get married and all anytime soon, we would have just been in a long engagement until at a point, when she would have been much older, it would have been comfortable for both to take the final step.
My ex has always been more mature than many other girls at her age; she’s not really scared about planning future, she’s told me constantly that all she wants the most is to spend the rest of her days at my side.So amy111, that’s not the reason why she leaves, as I’ve told in my story, I have made mistakes with her because of my issues, and she’s got hurt and weaker along the way. But I am changing gradually and hopefully I will be a better man, whether I am with her or not.
I noticed that today at 6 am, she read my birthday note again. That’s sorta strange to do first thing in the morning but I don’t wanna think much about it. She never replied to it of course but it’s alright, I’m not disappointed.
Amy111 yes send the message, you will feel at peace after that trust me! Don’t worry about him missing you because he still does, he will be busy but won’t completely forget about you this soon, it takes time. Be strong.
Amy,
I feel you, although we are in contact I feel a little like going so fast at first undid all the progress we made in no contact and now I’m just getting texts because he’s bored on occasion. I’m feeling ready to give up but I honestly just don’t know how. Every time I’ve thought it was over in the past he has come back, which makes it difficult to believe it will ever really be over. I change my mind about whether I want to keep trying or not every few hours, it’s exhausting.
Oh and in regards to the birthday thing– we already had this debate, but I still maintain you should base it on your own ability to handle it if he doesnt respond. if it won’t be too big of a set back, then go for it
Palmtrees22,
I face the same dilemma everyday: should I give up or should I keep working on it? Some days I feel more optimistic and I tell myself that all the efforts will be worth it, some days I really wonder why I am doing this, if I am just wasting my time.
I think we keep dancing around because we aren’t still emotionally stable to make a firm decision; and probably afraid of “the life when your ex is gone”. Do you ever question yourself if you are more scared of losing him than actually losing yourself?
I mean like, to reset and start all over on your own, or to look for, wait for another potential partner again. I must confess the thought of it is sorta more exhausting to me than thrilling, but I guess my age plays a big role in this.i don’t really know what it is. Sometimes I think it’s because we’ve gone through this cycle before it’s hard to believe it’ll ever end. Times I have thought it was definitely over, we ended up trying (the wrong way) to work it out so its hard now, when he’s still talking to me, to pull myself away. But yeah, maybe I’m just sticking around for what seems “easy” even though it is clearly NOT easy.
Every time my ex has left me I thought it would be for over for good, despite my heart rejected the idea. In the end it wasn’t over. It seems to be an eternal loop, but I believe it will stop at some point and we won’t even realize it. Humans are creatures of habits.
Yes I would, because I know I would be firm on my decision. When I let go, I just do it.
In my previous relationships, only once I was the dumper, it was a powerful feeling I must say, because I was in control of my own destiny again.When do you think you’ll get there? When do you think I should make that call? I can’t tell if this is actually hopeless or I’m just growing impatient.
I set a deadline around the end of September. At least to let it go, not to think about this anymore. Why so soon? Because I’ve tried already other times, and maybe I finally feel really tired of pushing it forward. I am not giving up completely, I am not expecting anything more. If I wait for months I won’t be able to walk away. On November it’s our anniversary and I don’t wanna dread that day to come.
In your case, you need to consider a realistic deadline you could work on. I suggest a specific date. You must feel it inside though. The fact that you are starting to feel exhausted of the situation, it’s a first sign maybe towards the final process.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.