17 days NC

Hi Catherine, I agree with Drygioni and FishingTheSky about sending a birthday wish. It’s not like he was some light acquaintance. You were together 8 1/2 months. If he doesn’t reply, try not to be upset. You wouldn’t be wishing him a happy birthday just to get a response, you would be doing it because you know it’s his special day and it’s the kind and respectful thing to do..

I really don’t know, because I don’t expect a text back at all but I still think it would hurt me. I’m just really going to avoid social media tomorrow so I don’t see it pop up. I’m really leaning towards not texting him, even though it’s nice, just to protect my feelings.

Such a tricky one. It’s totally your call Catherine.

I feel as though you’re leaning towards not texting him, and that’s absolutely fine. He is probably expecting one from you, and if you don’t send one it may leave him wondering why. I agree that sending one makes you the bigger and nicer person, but I doubt it will have any positive impact on him. He will probably just expect it and not respond and forget about it.

I think if I was in your shoes, and I was in the same place as you, I probably wouldn’t send one until I was ready for contact completely.

I agree with lin91-it’s totally your call. It’s hard because we’re all in the same boat! Do whatever you think is right 🙂 I know I want to message mine on his birthday, but the other part of me is torn between wanting him to wonder why I haven’t :/

Palmtrees22 nothing from my end so far-no more snaps from the friend, nothing. His sister is being a bit off with me too… Who knows 🙁 I have had time to reflect though and although it’s super painful now, I do think it was for the best-I’m realising that I need time to regain my self confidence back that I lost in the relationship, and realised that I lost it because he wasn’t a great boyfriend to me-distance is a great tool at times! I am hoping though that because I’ve seen the negative, he might see how nice I was to him and what a poo he was to me haha…so we’ll see! But yes, still in NC. His birthday is next Saturday and I don’t know whether to message mine ether 🙁
How are things your end?

Nothing to report my end. To be honest I’ve been feeling a little low over the past couple of days and I’m not entirely sure why. It feels like a backwards step because I’m not doing so well at pushing him out of my mind. I think it might be something to do with him not saying happy birthday to me, which sounds ridiculous but a part of my thought he would say something. I guess it makes it feel even more like he is doing fine, whereas I’m completely cut up still. I dunno, I’m hoping it will pass!

Amy he will definitely realise it. In fact he probably already has, and that’s why he’s distanced himself. You deserve someone who appreciates all of the good things about you, not someone who wants to run from them!

Palmtrees, I’m glad you’re starting no contact again. You could easily have gotten wrapped up in trying to get him back and ended up even more heartbroken, so well done for being strong.

Thanks for all the advice everyone. I think I am going g to text him later this evening and just give him a simple happy birthday.

No problem lin91,
If I can contribute a little with helping someone in distress, I am very pleased to comply. I know how much hard all this is.

Good luck catherine8, I hope you are not going to regret your decision, just remain cool if he doesn’t answer, be true to yourself.