rtn9115

I totally agree, this is happening to me as we speak. I am finally at a point, or was, where i could begin to move on, see that there are options out there, be comfortable in my own space again not constantly thinking about her. Its only been a month, and i would still do anything, but thats only 50 percent of whats needed here, and thats just not enough, so by no choice of my own, trying to move on and not dwell on the hope or unknown. But just as im doing this, 3 weeks into no contact, i have gotten alot more attempts to reach out to me, trying to get together. And now im over here, in relapse, playing through all of the things in my mind that i tried so hard to rid out of my brain. and now its back. And i hate it, seeing her, and just carrying on as friends after, will just not work for me, and i dont want to go through this hurt again. I feel like when i see her, i will have to put on a front, i will have to pretend as though I am okay, and if its not going the way i want, i will have to sit there and participate, because i dont want to act like a jerk and just leave and tell her i cant handle this, because that will look like im not over it or needy. I am so not ready for this. Wish me luck! I am supposed to see her friday.