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Zamron2 I’ve definitely thought about this for a while. I guess its hard to explain. I do feel afraid of that and I’d probably be paranoid starting off:/
I guess my only justification is that her and I had 2 years together, while she just went to him because she was lonely after me.
I even brought it up with her, asking if she’d text him or feel desperate for him if we got back together. Her answer was it would be a whole lot easier not to because they have only been dating 2 months, and they don’t have the same connection her and I did.I guess you never know, though. This is something I’m afraid of. But hopefully we’ll see.
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Aside from that, we talked again last night. She’s just still in that mental state of “I don’t know what I want”. I’ll probably just end up giving her space and not pressuring her. But its driving her insane because our anniversary is coming up.
@NeverGiveUp I agree completely. I haven’t said those words directly, but we generally circled around the idea that nobody’s getting what they want out of this situation.
She says she’ll be happy if everyone else is happy, but I try and tell her over and over again that hurting people is part of the process and it really sucks but unfortunately, that’s how it is. I told her that if its me she decides to hurt, then whatever, because i’ve done this before and I could do it again. But she says she doesn’t want to do that to me.
Part of me wants to just give her time to really decide what it is she wants. Because she is really lost right now and this is really eating her up.
I feel like someone could make a movie out of this sometimes. Ha
Hi bguarino – thanks for asking!
It’s been exactly 2 months since I posted this, so a lot has changed.
First off, She’s still with him, but from what I hear they’re not doing so well.
Me, on the other hand, I’m feeling great. I’m at the point where if she wants me, I’m here with open arms. If she doesn’t, then whatever makes her happy. Time really helped out and I’m in a much better headspace.——–
But I’ll go into more detail.
Since then we’ve gone through NC 3 times. Each time was because she felt guilty for talking to me because her current BF doesn’t know. Each one of those times, she broke and called me.
Remember that cheesy scene of The Notebook where he asks her, “What do you want” and she says it’s not so simple? Yeah that’s us right now.
I asked her where she sees herself during Christmas time, she said she doesn’t know. I asked her where she WANTS to be during Christmas time, and after a long while she replied “with you’re family.” But she can’t just run back to me because she “is done hurting people”
Basically this new guy isn’t fulfilling her, and she admits that when we don’t talk she misses me to much and has to call me. I told her what I told you – I’ll be here if she needs me, and if not then that’s okay. OBVIOUSLY I prefer her with me. But I can’t force anything.
Overall I’m happy with my situation. Just seeing how things work out. She broke NC again 2 days ago and weve been talking every night so we’ll see where it goes.
We’re not together yet, but after about 20-30 days of NC and following she ended up contacting me about how much she missed me and how much she thought of me when we weren’t talking. We’ve been talking for a week straight and are trying to arrange a meet up, now. 🙂
For the first week after our breakup, I was texting her 24/7 desperately and wanted her back and just felt like I was bugging her. But after taking time off, we both cooled off and she started missing me, and my desperate energy wore off and I was able to play it cool.
NC works! Trust me. But only if you do it correctly. I followed this article on winning her back to the letter Not only does she admit to missing me, but also I worked on myself and did a lot of things I’m proud of over the past few weeks. Everything has been nothing but uphill so far, and I believe it will be the same for you 🙂
