Marin

Mosis, I couldn’t sleep last night. One of my friends saw his profile and photo in an online dating site. On his profile he wrote: I want a partner who loves travel as this is what I do the most. This reminded me of our trips together. Every trip that he used to plan, he asked me to join him. Now he is willing to take a trip with other girls. It makes me feel so bad and get disappointed. he doesn’t want me. I don’t understand why he took his brother to my home . I know his main intention was to take his brother to visit this city but he could go to a hotel. I’m sure it was not because of the hotel cost as he is not like this and spend money easily for his trips. My friend says he is playing games with you. The other one says he is not clear what he wants and its a sign of sickness and it is not a good sign…

Hi Mosis and other friends,

He hasn’t answered my last message saying that I missed him. I sent it yesterday and I’m sure he won’t answer. Going to the concert is not important for me. I wanted to use it as an excuse to be with him. Do you think if it is better to wait on more week and offer to see him the other weekend? On the other hand, it seems that he doesn’t call me and if I don’t call him, we won’t have any contacts. I don’t want to disappear from his life. I think if I don’t call him either , his feeling may become less and less.

Have you read my story from the beginning? Do you think he has any good feeling towards me or like or love me? He was so warm and romantic with me before break up and we really enjoyed spending time together. But since the break up, in the last 5 months he wants to have me as a friend , talking and seeing once in a while. At the same tome by showing some signs I realized he doesn’t want to stop every connections . He knows that I love him but I don’t understand why he doesn’t close all doors if he doesn’t want me.

I used be very controlling, complainer and made some dramas and I know he is afraid of having relationship with me because of those headaches that I caused before. He doesn’t believe that I can change… . I think he dates another girl as well but I don’t know how close their relationship is.

Do you think if there is hope of having him as my boyfriend like before? Do you think if he still has feelings?

Right. So you think I shouldn’t offer to see him on the weekend? He doesn’t either if I don’t

Mosis, he’s just texted me back this : Hi , I was sleeping when you texted me last night”
and I texted” Ok. NP. I just wanted to say hi and to say I missed you badly last night.
He hasn’t text me again.

I think I shouldn’t have told him about missing him, right?

When they were here over the weekend , we slept with each other, but during the day, he tried to be distant. He even didn’t hold my hands or didn’t do the stuff he used to do….when I told him that I missed him and happy to be around him , he only said” Thank you”. We broke up 5 months ago and he’s been like this , only want to be friends. We fighted before NC and he ignored my calls for more than one week and ….

There will be a concert by our favorite singer in his city on this weekend. I’ve been thinking of asking him if he likes to join me in the concert and I go there. Is it too early?

Mosis Thank you for the hope. I was so happy when he answered my call 2 weeks ago and accepted to be with each other on the weekend. Our visit was great.But again he’s been distant and it seems as if he only wants me as a friend. I’ve been a little worried in the last days. I’m worried if he gets used to see me only once a month and not to talk as a girl friend boyfriend. On the other hand I’m hoping he sees my change during this period and may want me back again.

How long were you only friends before falling in love with each other again? When do you think is a good time for me to talk about the relationship or get back to me again? I like to tell him about my working on myself and going to a therapist to help me remove my weaknesses but I don’t know when is a good time to talk about this stuff.

If they don’t pick up your call, we shouldn’t text nor voicemail. Because by reading text or listening voicemail, they would understand what the intention of your call was . I don’t want them to understand why you called them. They must be curious until you call them again after one week or 10 days . They would finally answer your call , even the second or third time . But wait for one week or 10 days for the next call . No text , nothing…

I think it’s better to call rather than text . I myself called after 26 days of NC and he answered me while he used to ignore my calls and texts before NC.
As they get curious and wondering how we are doing and why we stopped texting and calling, it’s difficult for them not to answer our call at least because of their curosity. But receiving text, they hesitate and think more and may not answer. Also when we call , we understand how they feel about us by their tone of voice.

Hi Kevin,

My boy friend and I started our relationship about one year ago. Everything was great for the first 4 months and both of us enjoyed being with each other. But after two arguments that I’ve caused he decided to break up. I was a complainer and he told me that he didn’t like any headaches. I promised to change and started No contact. He went out of the States at the same time and we were far for 3 months. During this period he called me every other two weeks but I never called or texted him. Finally he told me that he missed me and he understood that I changed a lot. we were great for one month but unfortunately I repeated the same mistake and we had an argument 3 months ago and he told me that he decided to break up… But I haven’t been able to follow the No Contact him during these 3 months. I”ve called and texted him many times, begging and asking to get back to me. He even told me that he started dating a new girl. we were with each other once a month ,but he says I am only his social friend from now on. he calls me only whenever he wants me to help him with doing something and I do the same. I asked him to take a trip last weekend and he accepted but he didn’t treat me as he used to do before . He also had some calls and he went somwhere to talk on the phone but he didn;t want me to realize that and he brought some excuses but I’m sure he was talking to a new girl. When I stated to come back home, I asked him to call me more often but he answered NO. we may only see each other once a month and nothing more…..The bad point is that every time we were with each other in the last months, I begged him to get back to me and show more attention to me while we were saying goodbye and this caused an argument and I cried and he told me several times that this is why he doesn’t like to see me as we have argument and fight each time when saying goodbye.. I don’t want him as only my social friend or a friend with benefit. I love him and want him as before.I am sure that he is dating someone else now. Is there a chance for me to get him back if I start the No Contact period right now?