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The girl I was with for a year and a half broke up with me 6 weeks ago. We spoke for a little while after until all connections were cut. I ended up breaking no contact after 21 days and she told me she wants me out of her life forever… She threatened to change her number, call the authorities and even get a restraining order… She isn’t even with anyone else… She would rather be all alone then have anything to do with me, the person who was always there for her and supported her no matter what….she has a new job and is doing amazing from everyone I’ve talked to… It’s over…she promised to be with me forever and to love me and fight for me like I do for her… Soon she’ll be having sex with other guys, fall in love and forget all about me… It hurts so much more now because I was holding onto false hope the entire time… She had left before but always returned so I thought history was going to repeat itself… I just wanna kill myself… The love of my life will soon forget all about me and never have the same feelings she once had before….
@archola
There’s a good possibility they’re rebounding though. I hear some rebounds can last for a few months and almost NEVER last. I’ll be heart broken if I find out my ex becomes close with another man but if it happens this soon I’ll know it’s nothing real. Still hurts of course. To be honest my ex was beautiful but didn’t have many friends.. Not trying to be mean but if people aren’t willing to hang out with her… Maybe she’ll miss me.. I know this sounds really fucked up but the last time this happened she was stranded and needed my help. We lasted for several months after that..She always wanted to smoke with me but I was never into it until after she left. I said that because if she still has any feelings for me, maybe that would be a way for us to meet up and talk… She was obsessed with me before the break up… That’s why I have to believe she’s still thinking about me and considering getting back together… We’ve been separated before but never this long.. My dad even told me not to expect a response, so I didn’t. I don’t regret sending it, I just hope she realizes that we were meant to be and that I have always and will always be there for her.. (Not in a needy way)… What should I do now just restart NC? It seems like there’s nothing to do but that…
Well, I can honestly say I probably screwed up last night. I ended up messaging her this:
“Hi Alanna, I acted like a real jerk the last time we spoke. The truth is, I was on my phone waaay too much when I should’ve been paying more attention to you. Sometimes I’d look at stupid things, but there’s no excuse for that. I never meant to be condescending when we hung out, but in your eyes I was. I’m sorry for hurting you so bad. I’ve been straying far away from those things on my phone, gonna start counseling soon and have been watching my mouth before I speak to people. I’ve even been putting my phone down!! By the way, have you seen Better Call Saul yet? They actually said Walter and Jesse might be in season 2 after all!! Anyways, if you ever wanna smoke or even want some company, let me know”.
Only about 9 days of NC, and I got weak… No response. I didn’t ask her out, show up at her door, call her or give her a present. I just wanted her to know in detail that I’m sorry for my actions and am currently fixing them whether she wants to reconcile or not. Hopefully she’ll think it over. She’s gotta be missing me a little though. She couldn’t get enough of me and now she cut me loose cold turkey… All I can do is cry, restart NC, pray and “try” to live life…@Nell
I’m sure they are thinking of you during NC. Some people like myself have this problem where everywhere you go reminds you of your ex. If you and your ex had great times together and went everywhere together than I’m sure they’re thinking of you. I wish I could transform some of my depression into anger like you. Today is definitely the hardest day. I’ve been crying like a baby all day and I still have to go to work. They say it gets easier but I swear it seems like it’s only getting harder…She said the same type of shit to me. What sucks is that just a couple of weeks before she promised she would be my valentine and that she would always be with me forever… Then she left me with some lame, half assed excuse… I just don’t get how anyone can toss out all of the fun and good you did for them so easily…
I can relate to all of you… Believe it or not but my ex and I were separated last V-day too but reconciled soon after. I can only imagine what she’s doing and who she’s doing it with…
@Nell
Hey so after my NC I was thinking of sending this to my ex. You seem very knowledgable so I was hoping I could get your opinion!! Before I went NC we had a big argument so I wanted to start with an apology but was questionable about the length?? Please give me your opinion!!“Hi Alanna, I acted like a real jerk the last time we spoke. I was angry and I’m sorry for the mean things I said. The truth is, I was on my phone waaay too much when I should’ve been paying more attention to you. Sometimes I’d look at stupid things, but there’s no excuse for that. I never meant to be condescending when we hung out, but in your eyes I was. This time apart has let me think much more clearly. By the way, have you seen Better Call Saul yet? They actually said Walter and Jesse might be in season 2!! Anyways, if you ever wanna smoke or talk, just let me know”.
Does anyone have any success stories from doing NC?? I understand that you need to give each other space and increase the chances of your ex missing you but it seems like everybody on here has the same problem but I never hear of a positive outcome. The only time I hear of a “happy” ending on here is if someone hasn’t contacted their ex for months and they just get over them…
Do you any of you guys have any of Kevin’s daily emails saved? He used to always send them out but not anymore. They really helped me get through the day. Please let me know if anyone could send me some and also help me out with my problem I mentioned earlier!!
Alright, I don’t intent on contacting her for a while but what would you suggest I say to get her attention when I do? I’ve taken Kevin Thompsons advice once before when this happened a while ago where there was NC and I texted her about a park I drove by and the funny memory we shared there and how it made me think of her. She never responded… the last time we were split she only called me because she locked her keys in her car late at night and had no one else.. We were together for 6 months straight after that. Please, what have you tried or found useful for when you do reconnect after NC? That text Kevin T recommended didn’t seem to work. I know I’m getting ahead of myself and over analyzing but I’m the kind of person who always tries to see the big picture..
You guys have given me the best insight I’ve heard so far. Thank you. I understand there are things we need to workout IF she ever wants to reconcile, I’m just worried about how!! I’ve told her before I’ll put my phone down and I didn’t, but she never left me because of it… If she takes me back it won’t be an issue I’m just worried about what I can say to convince her. Any ideas on what I can say to prove to her that I’m quitting the porn? It was only something I would do once in a while if she wasn’t in the mood (so it wasn’t often). If she ends up rebounding with this guy (which is safe to say will make me go crazy) how should I contact her once my NC is complete?? Should I make it obvious that I know but say I’m okay with the break up decision to show her I’m not desperate?? For the record, I was very confident when I met her. I’ve tried being that confident with other girls but things just never worked out and I didn’t want them to because all I want is her back in my arms forever…
A couple weeks before the break up I tried turning her on but she had to leave for school. After she left she had forgotten something and came back to find me looking at porn on my phone… I felt like such an asshole and I still do.. I wanted to hit myself for being so stupid.. It’s one of those stupid male temptations.. I would never cheat on her or do anything with another women. I love her with all my heart!! I was only looking at it because I wanted to get off and she had to leave which is a lame excuse…She considered it cheating but then “supposedly” forgave me later that day but then called me out on it when we broke up a couple weeks later. I don’t know how I can prove it to her that I stopped because anyone can delete their search history… Aside from that I spend a little time playing games on my phone and she never liked that too much.. Maybe if I got a new phone that wasn’t so versatile (like no smart phone) that would prove to her I won’t be on it so much? I’m sorry to overload you guys with so much stuff. I feel like this whole ordeal could’ve been avoided if I hadn’t been so curious on my phone but I guess there’s no point in dwelling on the past..I’m just stressing out over how I can prove to her that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to fix our love!! She used to be obsessed with me and contact me all the time.. And when I look back at what has changed, all I can think is that she is more self sufficient then she used to be. I helped her so much. I literally saved her life (more than once) when she was acting suicidal, let her stay with me for several weeks when her parents kicked her out, helped her build her resume, helped her get her drivers license… I helped her with everything and she even acknowledged it during the break up but said she needed to focus on school which is a lame excuse because she’s only taking two classes and without a job!! .. For the record she is 19 and I am turning 21 soon… I just don’t know how to prove to her that I can make those mistakes never happen again….I’ve been slowly working out a bit more but it’s almost impossible for me to focus on my future with her on my mind all day. Please give me any suggestions you may have on self improvement so I can prove to her I won’t mess it up again.
Nell, you couldn’t be more right. I’m really thankful you’re on here because whenever I post things, people tend to ignore.. To be honest she was the first and only girl to ever show serious interest in me. When you feel like everyone out there thinks you’re a joke, and then one day a beautiful, kind and funny girl makes you feel blessed but then leaves you, you feel destroyed and empty inside….like no one else is out there. But I don’t want anyone else, I want the girl who proved to me that good people do exist… I know you’re not an expert but you make good points. If a girl is madly in love with you and proves it to you everyday, how could she leave you out of nowhere? That’s what’s really puzzling me. I have made mistakes but nothing like cheating or lying. I always made her feel loved and she knew it. How could someone like that leave you and be considering a rebound relationship or even a hook up??
