Hruesken

I think the 30 days is just fine. I don’t think there is any need for you to go longer than 30 days unless you decide during NC that you no longer want to be in a relationship with him. If after the 30 days you have evaluated the pros and cons and have decided you still want to be with him then you should go ahead and contact him. See how he is feeling after the 30 days and go from there. He has probably forgotten all the nasty things that happened during the break up at that time. My break up was also very messy and a lot of hurtful mean things were said, but after having time apart we both had pushed the negative thoughts to the back of our minds. NC truly saved our relationship!! Hope the same goes for you:)