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So. This didn’t work out. I wasn’t going to answer him the next time he texted but this time was different. He was wasted the other night. He texted me “I shouldn’t be texting you but I’m drunk and horny.” Of course the english wasn’t as clear as that. I ignored the horny part because I knew that if I went along with it and met him and hooked up he’s hate me for taking advantage of him drunk. I asked if he needed my help and why he was drunk alone. He claimed that he was drunk alone at home in his drive way at 11:30pm. He said he only needed himself because that’s what he gets left with in the end. When I tried calling him he wouldn’t answer the phone because someone would hear him in his family and probably get conerned that he was drunk by himself. So I told him that he clearly isn’t over the past and he needs to get past what I did to him a whole year ago. I got sort of mad and said “out of all the people text with this shit you chose me?” he was so drunk though he didn’t even no how to respond. He made no sense. I then told him not to drive and to be safe and didn’t answer the rest of his texts. None of which made sense. That was it. He didn’t even text me the next day apologizing or anything? I haven’t heard from him and I’m worried…I didn’t say anything bad and I was being a good friend and didn’t take advatage of his condition…so why hasn’t he tried to contact me to apologize? I texted him the next day and asked “are you ok after that incident last night” and he didn’t answer that was four days ago. I didn’t try contacting him at all since. Do you think he’s embarressed? I’m so confused? Help?
Keep hanging in there girl! You are so strong and you cannot show weakness, it is the biggest turn off ever! You need to make a fake friendship and just note it’s only temporary! <3 good luck!
Thanks for all the responses! To the persons post above^ weed isn’t used for fun in this scenario, it’s used as self-medicating and drowning out the pain! It is really not good! So if you’re girl is smoking a lot it’s because she is deeply hurt and she’s not dealing with it very maturely just like my ex bf. Now it’s been two days since we hung out and he still hasn’t tried to contact me and I feel like such an idiot for texting and calling him after we hung out:/ I spoke to my mom about it briefly and she thinks that he was just making sure I was still there as a back up plan if his girl dumps him! She says that the next time he texts/calls me I shouldn’t answer and see what his reaction is…pure genius she is lol. Because then that proves that I might not actually be there like he thinks. I didn’t give any clues away that I still love him and want him back at all since he’s contacted me wednesday. If anyone has anything else to add please do so! I love you all, you are great people<3
SOOO I guess he really was thinking about me a lot. Last night he texted me at like 8 and asked if I wanted to smoke. (Sorry if your not ok with that). Then straight after said the text was meant for someone else. I played it cool and said haha i totally would’ve though. He said if his friend doesn’t get back to him he will. I quickly rushed home and jumped in the shower. Right as I was getting out he texted me saying his friend didn’t answer. I met him at the grocery store and got into his car and left mine. Things weren’t that weird in the beginning honestly. Yeah it’s been a year since we hung out last and the whole cheat thing I explained ^aboved happened but things weren’t awkward. We drove to this back road and pulled over to smoke. When he was packing the bowl he says how he smokes and drinks so much now and he is so stressed all the time. I said “why cuz your job?” he said no it was because his gf is away at school and hes afraid that shes gunna leave him the way i left him and he has all these trust problems that I created. i felt sorta bad but felt like he was pinning all his pain on me. We started smoking and I took the smallest hits because I am not much of a smoker anymore. I told him I only came to chill really. He started bringing up the past when he got high. He said that he thinks I cheated on him before I broke up with him. But I swear I didn’t I don’t know where he’s getting this from. He explained to me that if his gf found out we hung out she’d probably break up with him. He got mad because I told my best friend I was chilling with him. He began to bug out knowing that she knew everything about us. I told him he could trust her and she wouldn’t say anything because she knows I would kill her! He got over it and thanked me. Idk why? lol. He started naming guys that he thought I cheated on him with. I kept yelling at him not meanly to stop bringing that shit up cuz it never happened. Anyways, I said “it must eat you up holding back this secret from your girl about the cheat and your so paranoid about it and all the guilt is all over your face” he then said “are you trying to hurt me?” but again he was high… He sat there for a minute got all teary eyed grabbd the bong and started ripping it like something I’ve never seen. He was drowning out the pain of everything. His tears faded and he became stupid high. I said it probably isn’t a good idea to keep hanging out. I asked him to bring me back to my car and he was just laying there with his eyes closed. I think he sort of expected me to try something with him kind of. I think he wanted to hook up but there was no way! I am not making the same mistake twice. On the drive back he looked sad and very unhappy. We talked and made convo good and laughed a little when he told me a funny story. When I pulled out he was going left and I was going right he looked at me in the eyes for a good 10 seconds with the saddest puppy dog eyes I’ve ever seen and until I drove away. I made the dumb mistake of texting him “im starting to feel it hard now-_-” talking about the high. He didn’t respond. It got me worried so about an hour later I called him and it went straight to voicemail?…I didn’t try again! I feel like I shouldn’t have done any texting or calling and regret it. idk what else to do now.
Eh. in this case of scenario you don’t want him leave you and think you don’t care.Hes waiting for you to contact him. You should send a simple hey. Start the convo off without and sorrows or anything just normal like nothing has happened. then gradually ask if he’s still mad at you from the other day. if you want to get back your just pushing him away. you could’ve already had him back the moment he said I can’t live without you. in my opinion you were taking the him saying sorrows too far! wait until you get him back and then get together cuddle spend a good time don’t bring up fighting or nothing then ask him whole your cuddling and happy if he missed you and if he actually did feel a little bit of guilt im sure he’ll come out to it then and you guys can move on and be happy. you need to ask him to hang out though and do not fight even if your right something’s just aren’t important enough to lose the one you love for good. you need to learn to trust and love unconditionally. don’t make someone feel guilt for there mistakes because we all make them. you can fix this but not by being broken up by getting back! good luck my dear
No I’m not still with the boy from school and yes he’s still with the same girl but shes in college now like 8 hours away two states away…she’s going for four years at least shes real real smart and no offense to him but hes not! lol soooo..he’s home I’m home working full time..I guess he’s bored and lonely and decided to text me finally who knows I just am struggling 🙁 I wish I had answers but thats everyone here patience is key the more input I get the more it helps tho! thank you
Oh boy didn’t realize that was the old thread LOL. About this weeks encounter. BAD YOU! lol you shouldn’t have asked twice to hang out in the same sitting! Especially not in his cranky mood of working since 5am. Just limit the talking when you see him and don’t give him the slightest bit of satisfaction when it comes to you secretly missing him. About the stuff in the storage. Next time he calls you about the kids ask him when he’s gunna look at your car and then ask about the stuff in the storage. I think it’s a really good idea if you try to go with him to get the stuff out of storage and help. Get someone to watch the kids for a little? It may help you bond and he is using your car! Just tell him its your stuff too and you want to make sure nothing of value is being tossed? What do you think and it gives you alone time with him…
Thanks so much! I feel like waiting for him to text me first again. Maybe I’ll wait until next week and see what happens because I’m going on a vacation at the end of this month and won’t have cell service so I’ll have to try before I go. I just don’t know what I’m going to say without him thinking I’m running back to try and get him back again. I just want to make it seem like we are just friends. I want to get together with him and do something but it seems almost impossible because he’ll think of the only time since the break up that we got together and how it led to cheating. What should we do? Go for coffee? .. McDonalds date lollll I’m being legit here tho! It can’t be anything crazy
I feel so bad.Listen he is absolutely not over you. You have children together. I agree he was acting shady with meeting at the gym and what not but you have to realize this is just one day out of the 365 days of the year. No offense …but get over it! I mean that in the utter most respect! The fact that he told his mommy that the co worker was checking you out straight up shows how jealous he is. If you started talking to someone else he’d probably have a kanipshion if thats the way he reacted to a co worker looking at you! What I would do…I would act just as shady. Next time you call to talk to your kids if he doesn’t pick up, leave a voicemail!!! Say “hey I wanna speak to the girls call me bye” that’s all. If you keep calling like you did in this scenario it doesn’t look good and it seems desperate. It seems as though you are trying to use the kids as an excuse to hear his voice(even if your not). Just cool down, these kinds of things are going to happen and everything happens for a reason. Don’t go calling him for any other reason other than your children. Also start buying new clothes or get a new hair style. Start looking your best and join a new activity or something…and brag about all the people and fun your having! The worst revenge is happiness and if he keeps acting like such an a**hole to you…you need to push back and not make acceptions just cuz you had relations with him. DO NOT LET HIM WALK ALL OVER YOU! You definitely don’t want to push him away! So steer clear and wait for him to contact you first unless absolutely necassary for the childrens sake. Keep us posted
