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The way you spend time together and stuff makes it sound like everything’s normal but him being reluctant to have normal conversations is very strange!! Try to persevere and just talk like that again and soon it’ll become normal again hopefully. Then he’ll be reminded of how you were together and maybe end his confusion and realise that that’s what he wants again
Ooh you’re right that our situations are similar!! It sounds like he wants you but not the pressures of a relationship and commitment. Like with the whole calling you after work thing, he probably thinks you got annoyed because you’re still more than friends and that if you were just friends that you wouldn’t be bothered. But it doesnt actually sound like you can be friends to be honest, with some people it just doesnt work and the connection is too strong. I personally think staying friends in your situation is just staying close so you can live your lives before inevitably getting back together, which is good or bad depending on what you want!
No contact will help if you want to shake up the dynamics and do things on your time now instead. But the only thing I would say is, do you really want to go through NC without knowing what’s going on or would you rather talk and actually know? You may get closure or a better understanding of the situation so that you can figure out the best thing to do
Good luck!!!
Oh dear this situation is so confusing!! It sounds almost as though you haven’t broken up but also as though you’ve regressed back to two people who are just starting a relationship.
It sounds like if you want him you can have him, but have you figured out what it is you actually want? See the movie with him as friends and if your feelings for each other make it a date then it’ll just happen, but that way you can see if you want him back or what. That should hopefully sort your mind out.
Hopefully I helped a bit! Good luck 🙂
@manishx Hi! Thank you, I’ll email now. Yes I hope this is just a negative phase for us both and that it’ll work out with time. I just hope when I’m back to myself he will care about me like he used to again. Good luck!!
@manishx Ah I hope so! It’s all just scary I guess, that he may never talk to me again and only remembers the negative things about me rather than the actual me who he still likes everything about. I’ll definitely look into the self help books, it would be amazing if you had any to send me! thank you 🙂 Glad to hear! It sounds like there’s still hope for you too 🙂
Thank you for taking the time to reply! I am currently seeing a therapist and on antidepressants and soon mood stabilisers. I try to make things better and end up making them worse and pushing him away even more. I just can’t tell whether I’ve done too much damage or there’s still a chance anymore. I mean after everything he still cares about me, I just don’t know anymore
Thank you for taking the time to help! Yes I am currently working on myself and getting to a healthier person, the only thing that still gets to me is him. I just can’t tell whether there’s still a chance and can’t help getting upset about how far I’ve pushed him away.
Thank you again 🙂
Thank you for your advice with my situation, time to return the favour aha!
For her to hate you right now would be an extreme reaction, she is most likely just angry. If she is angry that is a good sign because she cares about you, she cares about your actions and words.
Aim to stick to NC for at least a month I’d say just to give her time to get all the stressful factors in her life under control and then you can be there for her from there. All she will need is you to be happy and caring to encourage her to be. It may be she feels pressure knowing you feel so strongly for her hence the hot and cold behaviour, she cares about you but doesn’t want to lead you on right now.
Give her space, talk to her and just be yourself with her. She fell in love with you for a reason, just try not to be overbearing with your own love for her. Hopefully I’ve made sense with that! haha. Take this time for yourself too to become happier and don’t tell her how you’ve changed or anything but show her. It’s a long process but once you build contact back up, she will see over time you are being positive and not the person she thought she could not continue with.
I hope it all works out for you and that I may have been even the slightest bit helpful! Life has a funny way of working out but hopefully it will work out the way that makes you happiest!
