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Yes it was which was confusing at the time.
We are still going strong which is great.
@tanda how is your situation?Update: So after a few weeks of limited contact it was her birthday. I didn’t get her anything just simply wished her a happy birthday.
Next day we were texting back and forth but her interest levels were very high. I invited her to go bowling and she agreed. We had an amazing night, I was trying to just be a friend, we decided to go for a drive and just talk about everything. We ended up making out in the car and I think this may have sparked some sort of attraction in her.
We have hung out a couple times after that and it all leads back to making out and talking about the good parts of our past relationship. We decided to have a conversation about what we are doing and if we should give it another shot.
Long story short we are now seeing each other again and everything is going great. We are not putting pressure on each other and just taking things slowly.
We have both forgiven each other and don’t hold anything against each other.
I think we both needed the time apart to work on ourselves etc.
Now she is always eager to see me and when I joke around about not seeing her she gets sad.
I am really happy with the outcome and hope everything works out between us. Im going into this with no expectations.
Ill keep you updated.
Looks like that chapter of my life has closed now.
She returned to the country and we went to our concert. Had a great night and then we spoke about everything.
She just doesn’t want to date at this moment in her life.
She still loves and cares for me and wants to be friends but no romantic feelings.
I told her it’s too hard for me to be friends as I still have feelings and it’s unfair on me. She agreed and respects my wishes.
I was hoping this would be a success story but I guess exes are exes for a reason.
Sometimes you win some and sometimes you lose some.
Update – she messaged me again with the same “Hey” I replied 7 hours later with a “Hey”. Anyway conversation got flowing from there. It was late in my country but she didn’t want to go. Could have been because she was board as she’s on a road trip idk.
Tomorrow would have been our 6 year anniversary. Not sure if it’s coincidence or intended. I haven’t initiated contact with her in over 2 months. It’s been her every time.
Anyway our conversation was pretty good. Basically just catching up on the last month. She then requested to follow me on Insta and also asked me to follow her. Considering I was blocked until June…
She was very nice in our convos but I don’t want to read anything into it.
I Accepted her follow request and she accepted mine. I then sent her a photo and said I’m going to sleep. She said I looked good and night.
Just updating the progress.
She will be back mid next month.
Lately I have been feeling really good. I’m in the best shape of my life. I am finally happy just wish I had more friends to hang out with.
I very seldomly think of my ex. Obviously she’s thinking of me. She even said she’s “sorry for texting out of the blue. She been wanting to do it for a while but had no time”
But every time I hear from her it’s like I take 2 steps back.
Any ideas?
Must appreciation.
Dude, I feel you. I was in a 5.5 year relationship which my ex GF ended at the beginning of the year. It’s honestly been the hardest time of my life but I can tell you I’m feeling a LOT better now.
It’s been 6 months for me now and I still think about her and I together. I can only hope that we get together again one day.
I made all the same mistakes as you by being needy and begging etc I even did the drunk calling mistake which really backfired. However I have given her space by not contacting her much and also improving myself in this time.
I think you just need to stop contacting her, make her miss you and work on yourself in that time. Unfortunately we cant do anything to make them come back. It has to be their decision. We can only try and change their mind by showing them how we have changed.
So she just contacted me again. We had a convo for about 10mins. I asked if I could call and then she ended up calling me.
She sounded quite sick but she said she’s recovering from the flu.
The phone convo lasted about 8 mins then she had to go.
I ended up telling her “she looks stunning as always” via text and goodnight as I had to go to sleep while she was just waking up.
What could this mean? Why would she be contacting me more frequently? Do I contact her too or leave her to contact me?
I’m confused.
I also clear some stuff today that we bought when we were setting up our house and it brought back memories and I felt a little down about the whole situation. Iv been putting it off for months but decided to do it today.
Anyway. Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks.
Hi patricia
I know I was very controlling and needy and honestly since the breakup. I have let all that go. Iv taken time to work on those issues and I think I have come a long way.
I havent been contacting her. I just initiated contact after the blog she wrote in May and also wished her a safe trip and asked if she arrived safely. I have been far from overwhelming. I don’t force the convos and stay upbeat. I haven’t tried to suggest getting back together either.
I have definitely improved myself and my insecurities are also fading away.
Wow I’m sorry bro. Maybe it’s just not meant to be and if it is, it will be later on. Maybe you just gotta give it a little time. Let her see that she wont find another man like you. It will be hard tho cause she’s not willing to see the improved you.
This really sucks bro, Im really sorry 🙁
Hang in there and look after yourself. Everything will be okay in the end.
Update: She initiated contact with me for the first time in about 5 months and she is half way around the world. We have spoken before but every-time it has been me who imitates the contact.
We had a good conversation but it was pretty light and short as she had to go. I presume it was to sleep as it was late.
I have sent her some memes on Instagram which she liked and laughed at but nothing more.
What could this mean if she initiated contact with me after so long. We hadn’t spoken in about a month . I’m not in NC either, don’t think it is necessary any more.
She will be back in my country in 2 months and we are going to a concert together.
I also visited her mum on her birthday last week and she was happy to see me as was I.
I think thats why you need to take this time to fix yourself. Time changes everything, she might think she wants to move on now but could change her mind later.
I know that her getting another guy is very scary and pretty much nails the coffin shut, but we cant live in fear of that.
You are doing great with your progress. When you begin to feel better again, your whole life will change.
You may have also acted needy after the breakup cause you were afraid of being lonely. I know I did.
Keep up the good work and good luck with your therapy session. Let us know how it goes 🙂
You are making great progress! You are doing really well. Hopfully once she is better again things progress faster.
Keep it up and DONT give up 🙂
I agree with gamecoder. Of course everyone is going to a be different person after a breakup. It teaches us valuable lessons and changes us.
I don’t think you should give up because she said you guys will never be the same. In fact you don’t want to be the same because that will just end in another breakup.
Its only been about 2.5 to 3 months since your breakup and you say you never really gave her space. You should focus on yourself now, give your ex some space to think and contact her later when you are mentally strong again.
Of course things could have been different if we acted differently. I wish I acted differently in certain circumstances. I wish I could take back things I said when I was hurt. Unfortunately we cant and need to try moving past them. We need to learn from them and never repeat those mistakes again.
It’s a big price to pay but the next relationship whether it be with our ex’s or someone new will be a lot stronger.
How long was your relationship and how long have you been broken up?
Time really does heal. I was in a terrible state after my breakup. My Ex and I were together for 5 years 5 months. Next month would have been 6 years together. She left me because she wanted to “figure herself out”. Naturally I did everything wrong trying to get her to stay. I mean who wouldn’t, I bet if the situation was reversed the ex’s would do the same.
Anyway I think you shouldn’t give up especially if you had a great relationship and can picture yourself with her for the long run. Do give her some time to get over the bad breakup tho and when you do talk to her again you HAVE to be positive and upbeat and not desperate and down.
Right now tho you have to regain your self confidence and self worth. You can only do that by focusing on yourself. Don’t do what I did and get a rebound. It will not make you feel better and you will compare everything, hence why they don’t work.
The thing that helped me was joining the gym. I am changing my body into something I am proud of and because of that I am gaining a lot of confidence. I’ll be honest and say my reasons for joining initially were to try and show my ex i’m trying to change and trying to get her back was my motivation. But as time has gone by, I am now doing this for myself and if something happens between my ex and I then that great but i’m not expecting anything anymore.
I hope your therapy goes well and helps you. I am always here for support if you need it. Don’t hesitate to ask anything.
If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you?
WOW… That message was really lovely. It hit me right in the feels.
I know exactly how you feel. Im in a very similar situation. Its been 5 almost 6 months now and I still don’t want to let go. There are so many good memories it’s just so hard.
I really hope things will work out between you too. it might not be now but you never know what the future holds.
Happy Birthday bro hope you have something planed 🙂
Did she message you at all today about your birthday?
I think the good memory text may be a good option, just be careful that she doesn’t take it in the wrong way.
Wow you were together 10 years, I hope you two can reconcile your relationship, it might just take a bit of time.
Im not sure if you should get her the chocolates yet. I think you should only do that if you two and on positive talking terms and able to be friendly. She might think it’s too much, maybe get her something else. Im not sure tho.
Hahah in regards to being on here to much, I think it’s helpful for us to try and help other people. I might be on her to much too haha.
