arnoldx11

Thank you very much for your reply. She was married for a year, no children. It will take her a few years to be fully divorced, but she is legally separated. She’s still in her early to mid 20s, I’m late 20s.

I was very hurt and confused as to how everything fell apart so quickly, and why she had (in my view at the time) treated me so cruelly and ignored my messages, when we had been so open and honest with each other before. So I asked her to give me some space. Then I felt bad about the message I had sent her, I realised she must have been conflicted and didn’t know the right way or time was to tell me how she felt, and perhaps I shouldn’t have sent her such an angry message. I also didn’t want her to think I was needy, and I felt that sending her a genuine but brief apology would give me closure and also make her feel better and less guilty, as it seemed she really was sorry for how things worked out. She wanted to break up, so I felt it was the right thing to do to apologise and give her the space she needed without worrying about how I felt.

Since then I’ve still been thinking about her a lot and remembering all of the fantastic times we had. At first I thought I was wrong about her, but I realise now that I fell in love with her for all of the right reasons, and that she is the person I thought she was. I’m still not exactly sure why she decided she didn’t want to continue our “relationship”, whether it was a loss of attraction to me, or if she just realised she wasn’t ready for it, but I do know what I would do differently if we tried again. So, if I just treat her normally, be polite this weekend, and when I work with her next weekend, do you think I should wait much longer than normal to try to reconnect with her?

Should I follow the 30 NC and message her a few days after I see her, or give it a lot more time? I will be seeing her for work every three weeks or so and it’s just the two of us. I really care about her and want what’s best for her, and I wouldn’t want to rush into anything if she’s not ready. We would need to take things slowly and be honest about our relationship to others as well. Do you think I should try to reconnect over the next few weeks or would it be too early? Thank you so much again!