Absolutely

Hi Patricia,

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Yes I definitely do like her a lot.

I’m more stable now in that I’m in more control of my actions. I can’t control my thoughts of missing her but I know I won’t break NC anymore… I accept that I’ve done everything I can.

Can you share tips on how to let go? I’m doing more stuff now to fill up my time, even start to feel like I’m okay with the idea of dating other girls but there’s this voice in my head that’s holding on.

Thank you

Just to add on (last one, promise)

My action plan, is to:

Hey xxxxxxx I’m in your area today, could you recommend me some good cafes?

If she replies,

I’d say “Cool, would you like to grab a quick lunch together? It’s okay if you’ve got plans”

And then just roll from there.

If she doesn’t reply,

I’ll wait 1-2 days and say,

“Hey, maybe you’re busy or not ready or keen on talking.. and that’s okay.

I understand that maybe I’ve overwhelmed you with texts in the past, been clingy and I’d like to apologize for that. I know you don’t like such long texts but I really treasure the genuine connection we had and I really do believe we could be great together. I’m just continuing to be honest and real with you here.

I accept that maybe it’s just me who wants this and hey that’s really okay. I’d like to hear from you cos this silence is starting to hurt. You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable and trust that I won’t hold anything against you. I’ll leave it to you now to reconnect.”

Forgot to mention, sometimes she blocks me on her stories and then unblocks me when I text her… Not sure if it’s an important detail or I’m over reading.

Most recently, when I broke NC and reached out via text, she uploaded a story (which I didn’t watch) then few hours later she blocked me from the story. After I reached out via Instagram 2 days later, I noticed that I was unblocked from the story.

Also, once in a few weeks her friend which I have on Instagram watches my stories (which she never does).

So despite getting ignored, she keeps me on Instagram (though she stopped following my stories about 1 month back).

I’m not sure if there’s any meaning or I’m over reading…

Thanks everyone!

Sigh,

I’m just very confused if there is even a shot at this.

Sometimes she replies, sometimes she doesn’t. Sometimes when she doesn’t reply my question (i.e. where’s this place…) She’d post up an instastory or two and I could be overthinking but it might be an indirect response to me.

Guess Pat is right on the money. I do need NC for both her and myself.

Should I still do an elephant first before the NC or not tho?

Thank you. Your words are really helping me a lot.

What happened to you guys? Did you reinitiate with that elephant text after a 30 days NC and slowly reconnected again?

Or the other way around where you sent it and then went on a long NC before re-entering her life?

I’ve re-edited my elephant message could you let me know your thoughts? Also I’m thinking of sending it over text maybe tomorrow (we haven’t talked at all today) and following the 5 days rule after.

If this doesn’t work out I’ll do a full 30 days NC before re-engaging again.

“You might be wondering why I’m doing this..

Honestly, a part of me does want to get back and you’re pretty much what I’m looking for. I’m okay with whatever happens, so you don’t have to worry about “dragging me into anything”.

Maybe we’re not ready yet and if we tried again in a few months when the timing is right, we could be great together.

I am in a good place right now and truth is, I am texting you just because I miss speaking to you and want to be the one to reach out.”

Again, thank you so much for your help. I’ve seen your replies in other posts and love the advice you’ve been giving. You’ve really been through alot which is amazing. From your experience, what’s helped to keep you strong?

Last post sorry, realised I left out the elephant message.

If I do go ahead with the elephant message, this is what I had in mind:

“You might be wondering why I’m doing this.

Honestly I do want us get back. But I am okay with whatever happens, so you don’t have to worry about “dragging me into anything”. I am in a good place right now and truth is, I am texting you just because I miss speaking to you and be the one to reach out. I don’t have a goal or an ulterior motive for texting you. I just want to see what happens.”

Yes I mostly copied what was on the site haha.. but that’s cos it’s largely how I felt as well.

Again, thanks for the help!

Thank you for your reply again!

Just want to clarify further, does it have to be 30days?

I’d like to think that I’m fine though. Yes I do really like her and want us to get back but I can also accept that we won’t after all I don’t believe I can force it if she doesn’t… All I know is I miss speaking with her and truly like her as a person and I want her in my life not as an acquaintance and I’m worried that a 30day NC will cause her to forget about me, seeing that we’ve only dated for such a short time and my gut tells me she won’t ever reach out to me on her own.

Then again maybe it’s my lingering affections speaking here haha…

Or is this NC more for her to figure out what she wants? Because during our dating she did mention she was in her healing phase recovering from past wounds, not looking to date and I made her confused by making her like me.

Maybe I’m also overthinking here but seeing that she still replies to my texts, engages with my jokes etc… but doesn’t allow the conversation to extend or get personal makes me feel that somehow I’ve hurt her (although she was the one to initiate the end, saying how she doesn’t want this as much as I do) and caused her to close up on me while still wanting a connection.

I’m pretty clear in what I look for in a partner and do not like wasting time on meaningless dates. I’ve been on dates but never beyond date a 2-3 if I find the other party isn’t what I’m looking for and I wont waste their time either… And it took me years to find someone I really like and want to settle down with which is why I’m so obsessed with winning her back.

Sorry if I’m rambling, just wanted to be thorough here.

Latest update, we joked around a little today over text and I got busy and sent a gif to end the convo.

Then nearing evening I sent a funny picture teasing her to reinitiate and she didn’t reply despite seeing it.

Waited 2 hours and sent a follow-up “Sorry that was a bad joke” and asked a different light hearted question.

Seen it but no reply.

I’ve never done this “apology” approach before since breaking NC and wanted to try if it’ll change things but guess not.

I’m planning to take your advice with the NC from this point onwards but if by some form of divine intervention she reaches out to me on her own, what do you suggest I do?