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Recently txted my ex last friday for the first time in over a month. She never answered. Yesterday i tried to call her cause i really could not wait any longer to talk to her. I just want to meet up, say my peace and move on; so i can start living again. I cannot leave it like we did and move on. I have to get this off my chest. When i called her, my phone number was blocked. I never once txted, called, liked anything on social media. Nothing. I gave her complete NC the whole time. She also blocked my whole family. Plus a buddy of mine told me he saw her out somewhere and she was hooking up with multiple guys. Its like I never existed. I guess she really wants to just be single. My ex has moved on for now at best. She is burning bridges with my family and everything. All we did was treat her good, never did anything negative towards her. She is being very cold. Like we treated her like trash. She seems to be smoking now too, which she really never did and drinking a ton more. Don’t know why she is acting this way. Seems like she just doesnt care at all about me or anyone else, just herself and that i never meant anything to her. Like being punched in the gut.
On the bright side, i have a date with a really pretty girl on wednesday. Hopefully we hit it off. So hard tho, was literally crying while setting it up through txt. Felt guilty. Never thought i would have to do this again =(
Am i being to negative about this whole situation or what do you think i should do? Any help would be great.
@Jared I think you need to accept it for what it is right now. It doesn’t mean that it is over for good, but her doing what she is doing is her way of dealing with the break up. If you feel you have things to say to get things off your chest, then I suggest sending her a letter. You don’t have to see her to get these things off your chest and writing it down is a lot easier. Use that letter as your closure and move on with your life. Have you thought that maybe she has blocked you not to be mean, but because she can’t deal with talking to you as it might be too painful for her? People work in different ways and this could be her way of trying to heal. I suggest the letter and go from there.
Its sad, i thought we could reconcile. Seems like it was never in the cards from the beginning. She just wants to be alone. Figures i would find the one girl who WANTS to be alone instead of with someone =/ Yea i have the letter already. I will send it soon. Cant believe this still. It hurts so much. Closure will give me what i need. If i can do it in person, that would be key. She told my parents, best friend and myself that she would talk to me when she is rdy. I just hope its not much longer. I know when she is done work. Might give her the whole week to reach out. If not ill send a FB msg to her this time(since im not blocked)saying that “im trying to move on fully, i just wanna say my peace with you in person, get all this crap of my chest and then we can go our seperate ways” or something like that. If she doesnt respond, then i will have to take that STEP where i show up to her work when she is leaving and ask her in person to talk to me. “That i dont want a realtionship anymore, let me say what i need to say to you. It will only take alittle of your time. You want me to move on from you, and i need this to do that.” Hopefully she bites, i can say the stuff i need to say and then i KNOW i will be a better person all around.
@Jared I really wouldn’t advise turning up at her work. Again it’s about respecting her wishes. She is choosing to not talk to you at the moment, and as hard as that is, she will not appreciate you trying to contact her or turning up at her work, it looks a bit crazy. As I said, closure doesn’t have to come from saying something to someone in person, if you don’t have that choice then you have to make the best of what you have, by sending her a letter. I wouldn’t even bother with the facebook message either. I think you just have to accept at the moment she isn’t ready to talk, if she isn’t ready to talk then no way should you turn up at her work, that won’t go down well with her. You can of course say your piece to get closure, but a letter would be the best way. Send that and then wait to see if she reaches out to you afterwards.
I know. It really is the fact that i didnt get to say anything to her that i wanted to. Its holding me back. I cant do it in a letter @KD1988. She might not even read my letter. It needs to be said in person. I need her to see it in my eyes. I can say what i wanted to say to her a month ago. Everything that i need to say, everything about everything basically. I have notes and all. Im actually ready to talk this time. Im not blindsided this time. That i want to remain friends. I do not like that we are strangers to each other now. I gave her what she needed to move on, i think its only fair to me if she shows the same curtoesy. Right? Its been over a month without talking. How much time does she need to just give me 15 mins? i dont think i can wait much longer. Im trying to go on living. I need this tho. I need it for myself to move on. Ive always been good to her, always gave her what she needed in life to make her happy. Couldnt she see it in the same way? That after everything, she cant give me the one thing im asking for?
I don’t think you are looking at it the right way. Try not to think of it as her not being courteous you, or that she is being horrible and not giving you time, maybe she CAN’T give you time. If you read Kevin’s plan again one of the deadly mistakes is not showing up at their place of work or home. I know you feel like she owes it to you to meet in person so you can talk to her, but you are not together anymore, unfortunately our exes don’t owe us anything and we can’t force them to give us something that we want. If you ask to meet her and she says no, then you must leave it at that and send a letter instead.
Well then i should at least ask her in someway. I never asked her yet. She never said no to meet, she told me she wasnt rdy a month ago. She told the ppl that talked to her that she would talk to me. I have to figure out a way to reach out. I believe that facebook is the only way. Ill send her a msg on friday on fb. If she says no, then the letter i will drop off to her mom when she is working to give it to her. Does that sound like a better plan? @KD1988
Also the letter i wrote is really well written, but its a goodbye letter and has nothing in it about what i wanna say to her =/
I think that sounds like a much better plan yes and I’m sure she will appreciate it more too. 🙂
Okay ill do that then. I really dont want to ever just show up at her work like one of those people. Thats not me. Its bacially that she left me no choice, that it had to come to that. I got 2 friends, one today reaching out on my behalf and then my best friend again on friday. Today my friend is gonna ask her to talk to me soon, say what i said in the above comments to her. To do him the favor. My best friend on friday is basically gonna say to her “that its been 2 weeks since i asked u to reach out to my friend. That i told u that he is slipping with each passing day. I wasnt kidding. You told me you would, multiple times. I hope you werent just telling me what i wanted to hear to get me off the phone. That would hurt me cause we have always been close and honest with each other. I want to remain close to you, but you gotta take care of Jared for me, so i can get my friend back. Please reach out to him soon, meet up, let him say what he needs to say, so he can go on with life. So he can get what he needs to move on.”
Sounds good? @KD1988
@Jared I’m not sure about getting your friends to reach out on your behalf, because even though it’s not coming from you directly, she will know that it has come from you. If I was you, I wouldn’t get your friends to do anything, and would ask them not to. You can’t force her or pressure her because you will find she will take even longer to get back to you and it will drag the process out. I think just stick with your plan of asking to meet, if she says no then send your letter 🙂
Okay i will. Yea i actually just talked to my best friend and he said the same thing u said. So i prb wont have him say anything or my friend today. She has me blocked on everything but facebook. Its the only way i can reach out now =/ Another week tho i will have this pain in my chest. Wont go away till i talk to her. I just know myself.
Hopefully my date goes well tho
Why don’t you just message her on facebook now and ask her? Then if she doesn’t respond then send your letter out at the end of the week.
Yeah good luck for your date.
Hmm maybe i will she is off today. Ill send something to her now. Hopefully she does answer back. Well wish me luck @KD1988. If not i will go to her house and give the letter to her mom.
Well i sent the FB msg. She saw it. So at least i have that. Hopefully she at least answers me or knows that im not trying to win her back. Just getting closure. I also dont get that its hard for her. She did this to us. Shes the one who is making it hard. If anything it would be harder for me to see her in person. Not vice versa.
@KD1988 So i think i will give her mom the letter this week to give to her. I just hope she reads it.
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