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Posts
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The one that I usually talk to hasn’t said anything to me since I got that text from my ex. He has his own drama he’s dealing with, but I am pretty surprised he hasn’t said anything to me. I don’t think my ex has anything to do with it, but you never know. And this guy considers himself MY friend now too, not just his.
Well I was able to get ahold of our mutual friend this evening. My ex told him that he most definitely isn’t coming back to me even if things don’t work out with this girl. Which LOL at that, because I’ve always been confident that he IS going to come knocking on my door again at some point in the future. I definitely don’t believe him for the long run. My friend also told me that from everything my ex tells him, it sounds like the girl still isn’t interested. Because get this: SHE is moving to Florida, with one of her friends. My ex is just trying to move there, likely to follow her. So funny.
Nope, I don’t want him. At least not for a while. He needs to get his head on straight, figure out what he wants, and actually be stable. He straight up told our friend that he has no idea what he wants. And I need someone who does. It’s been refreshing and freeing to realize that. There’s definitely a good person still inside him somewhere, but it’s like down in his baby toe.
Lol yea never say never right but I hear you.. that’s good that you’re feeling better and thinking this way! yea you definitely dnt want someone who is confused.. that’s what I say… relationships suck tho lol that’s been my thoughts recently I love being in them but the pain when it doesn’t wrk idk lol makes mii questions if it’s worth it… your cam feel like it’s going good and then the break up with you. or the say the best thing ever and nxt day end it
Yes, I am feeling much better. Last night I went out with my friends and I just felt so much lighter and happier. Because I know from here, it’s only going to get better for me. I think finding out she apparently isn’t into him and they aren’t moving together did perk me up. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that’s what helped but at least I’m doing what I can to get on with my life. I even met a guy and gave him my number 🙂 Not expecting anything. I’m just going to be single and enjoy being me and being able to concentrate on what I love.
Relationships do suck! They’re so much drama, that’s the reason I didn’t want one in the first place over a year ago, but I ignored that and gave my ex a chance. “It’s one date, what’s the worst that could happen?” Everyone asked at the time. LOL if I only knew then what I know now. But now I also know he was meant to show me that I am capable of truly loving someone. We aren’t meant to be, at least not right now. I don’t know what the future holds. It could hold someone different or he could get his act together and come back and we work out. Who knows. I’m just going to enjoy the ride 🙂 How are you doing @starlight? Are you getting by?
hey sry for getting bak late.. But I’m same as you. enjoying the ride and just living life lol I’m actually happy and in a good place you know. life is what it is. I can only control my reactions and that’s all I do. and I won’t give the power to someone else by letting them control my life through pain. I moved forward and just you know living my life.. Happiness is a choice I feel. and Im choosing to be happy wit myself and if I find someone else to share that wit then cool and I will. sides I’m enjoying meeting new ppl, talking, flirting going on dates and not having that attachment
It’s okay @starlight, I haven’t really been on here either because nothing has happened between my ex and I. His number is still blocked on my phone, and he still has me blocked on Facebook. No news of a move to Florida from his friends, nothing new on his LinkedIn profile, etc. I did spend the night with a couple of his friends (On 3/26, the last time I was here lol) because we were hanging out and it got so late. We all had an amazing time just talking and hanging out. They all are of the general consensus that he no longer deserves me. So I’m just doing my thing. I feel so much better. There are nights where I miss who he used to be but I try to remind myself he hasn’t been that person for nearly a year now.
I hope you are doing well @starlight 🙂 have you been on any dates recently?! I’ve joined a couple dating sites and some guys have messaged me and stuff but never any of the cute ones that I want to talk to 😉 I’m enjoying being single and remembering who I am. I heard the other day from some people that there is a lightness to me that hasn’t been there in a long time. That made me feel really good.
Just found out via his mom’s Facebook that he got a promotion at his current job. Not sure if this means he’s staying here or moving, because one of the jobs in FL he applied to seemed like a promotion. She didn’t mention a move like she did when he moved here back in 2012, so I’m going to guess he’s staying here. She posted a photo a couple weeks ago that said something about “Beware of destination happiness, the belief that happiness is in the next city, next job, next partner, etc.” and tagged him in it. He really values what his parents tell him, so I’m guessing he may have had a change of heart about moving after talking to them.
That’s a very very deep and awesome saying!!! I love it!! I’m glad that you’re doing fine! Sounds like he might not be moving which is, he can’t run away from his problems!
haha I understand what you saying.. I’ve gone on a few and I’m talking to ppl but I wouldn’t say I’m fully putin my self out there.. I haven’t found the right amount of unavailable but available lol… I’m getting a PT so I can start saving for a trip and the summer lol so I’ll meet some new ppl.. I don’t meet ppl in my job lol so it’ll be good to do that and make/save money lol
Hi, Laur! Thank you for updating us on your situation. It sounds like you’re in a much better place and I totally agree with your friends – he doesn’t deserve you!
Something good will happen soon for you, I’m sure of it. Good luck to you, Laur.
Thanks @penelope and @starlight, your support though all of this has really helped me stay strong. I feel a lot better without him, and it’s sad that it’s that way. Once upon a time he made me feel lighter than a feather, but here lately all it was was just a weight. A little good news on me: I’m going to nursing school in the fall, and I just got a job as a Nurse Assistant at my dream hospital! Found out two days ago 🙂
Aaaaand a little news on my ex I found out this morning! Our mutual friend was out last night and ran into him. He was all depressed and confused because he asked his ex from NY to be in a relationship and told her how he felt about her, but all she gave back was “maybe,” “I don’t know,” which we all know is the worst. Apparently she’s already moved to FL with her friend and it’s her friend’s goal to find her a rich man to marry, which our friend called it weeks ago lol. And our friend also said “It’s amazing how all the stuff he was saying last night are the same things you had been saying a couple months ago.” So basically the exact same thing he did to me is now being done to him. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, but… karma.
Oh, and he asked our friend if I still had his number blocked and he told him yes but if he had a message for me he’d tell me next time he saw me. Apparently my ex wasn’t too happy about that hahaha. My friend’s exact words were “I saw his blood boil.” Well, he shouldn’t have done what he did if he didn’t want to deal with the consequences 🙂
I hope you both are having a great day and not too much drama in your lives! It’s a pretty day where I’m at, so I’m going to go enjoy it 🙂
lmboo that’s funny lol. CONGRATULATIONS! !! THAT’S AWESOME! I’ve been great like you said we were both stressing each other and this time apart is good. I’m just living each day and learning to be happy. that’s crazy that he now cares to ask if you blocked him still. that’s a great friend showing him that he can’t keep using you as a safety net! he should stop lookin for gf and just focus on himself and figuring himself out. there’ll always be a right time to be in a relationship.. there’s always girls to date when he figures himself out whether it be you or anyone. Karma is a B. lol
hey, I have been following your story and I can imagine how shattered you must be feeling at this moment. The impression I got (as an outsider, you could say) is that this guy likes the thrill of the chase and the moment he is about to get what he has been chasing, he is no longer interested. He fulfils the definition of a player, in my eyes. If you look at what happened – he wanted his ex because she “was hard to figure out”. In order to have her, he has to put in a lot of chase and sweat because she simply “is not sure” about entering another relationship with him. Guess what, if a relationship had happened, he would most likely have ended up leaving her as well because, hey, he got what he wanted, the chase was over and so was the thrill. Now the question for you: do you want this kind of man in your life? You seem to be a woman who wants to settle down and enjoy a rather stable family life with the man you love – well, the “wife material” you mentioned in your posts. I can tell you for sure that you are wasting your time with this guy who does not share your goals in life and, not trying to be cruel here, maybe never will…I know, it’s not what you want to hear but take it from me, I am older than you by a decade (LOL) and I have had my share of players and bad boys. They broke my heart over and over, made me put on weight which even today I am still trying to lose. If you can help it, don’t do this to yourself – you are young and you have so many opportunities ahead of you, why choosing to dream of someone who simply is not in your league and does not deserve you? Think about it. And one more thing which you could take as advice if you wish: I feel that all the contact with the common friends keep you from your recovery “from him” because there is always a hope out there that one day, one of these people will tell you something positive about this guy, that maybe he wants to come back to you, etc…you get the point. If I were you, at this point, I would politely ask these common friends to stop mentioning about him going forward just because I care about my sanity and want to move on. I know it’s hard, you are doing very well for the state you are in. Good luck!
Hi everyone,
It’s been a few months since I have posted on this site, but for those of you who were following my little saga, I wanted to post an update because there were developments.
One weekend in mid May my ex and I’s mutual friend and I went out for drinks together. My ex knew about this, and drove into town to basically follow us the whole night after saying he was going to stay in and sleep (he had been partying the night before). All of this I guess to make sure nothing was going on between myself and our friend. I wasn’t exactly friendly towards him but I wasn’t an ice queen either. Cordial and polite.
Then I found out a week later that the move to Florida is a go. He got a job down there, and that his ex of 4 years (also now in FL but a few hours away) is out of the picture and has been since about the same time I last posted here (apparently she was using him? Idk the full story but whatever). I had plans with our mutual friend again on June 4, and when we went out I found out it was my ex’s going away party and he wanted to see me and talk to me.
So we go to the going away party, and it actually wasn’t bad. He and I talked. I wasn’t very friendly at first, but I did warm up. A long story shortened: I unblocked his number, and we did make out. That was a Saturday. We also saw each other Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday evenings. We made out each night. Thursday we said our goodbyes, went to the pool, had dinner, walked around town together, and we talked about what we are. It was a genuinely nice time. We both established neither of us really wants a long distance relationship but we both have feelings for each other. He said he doesn’t want to ask me to wait for him while he gets settled in FL and we both agree we don’t know what the future holds. But we are both open to the possibility of revisiting a relationship again if that’s what develops and we realize we don’t want to be apart. And this time, I am sure he was genuine.
He moved Saturday June 11. We have texted every day since I unblocked him, and he likes his job but is nervous at the autonomy he’s getting. He moved not just for a new job but also new experiences and because a lot of his friends are bad into partying and drugs, and he wanted to get away from it. I will say that even if he hadn’t been moving, I wouldn’t be revisiting a relationship with him at this time. We would still be doing the same thing. I still need time to trust him and forgive him, and he needs to learn how to communicate and how to realize how his actions can affect another person.
So that’s that for now. We are on pleasant terms, and I guess that’s as much as anyone can ask for after this roller coaster we’ve been on. Thanks to everyone who has supported me and listened to me when I was very down. I’m doing a lot better now, and I’m staying careful that this doesn’t drag me back down again. 🙂
Hi, just wanted to offer my support (as I just read your whole story in like a hour time frame haaha) I’m glad you updated. Just wanted to say ive been there through all the confusion with a guy and when you get to a place to where its just cool and their presence in your life doesn’t make or break you for real not just mental strength. that’s a really good place to be and if anything good does ever happen between you and this guy there is room for it to allow now, because like kevin says in all his advice and anyone else has ever said you cant rewally be happy with someone until your happy with yourself! even if you really love that person ! there will be problems that you just cant get over if you don’t have your own bubble of radiating self happiness. BUT, I wish you all the best endeavors with this guy and just love in general. You most definitely deserve it girl !! 🙂
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